Worse still, there was a new action figure craze sweeping America in 1984 - Transformers - which was clearly encroaching on the space that retailers were prepared to give over to Star Wars toys. With no new Star Wars movies on the horizon I could see that the writing was on the wall.
Maybe it was bitterness, maybe it was me telling myself that I needed to grow up, but I always viewed Transformers with suspicion after that point. Consequently, even with the dollars burning a hole in my thigh, I was never tempted to buy one... however cool I might've felt they were beneath my affected disinterest.
This is long overdue, but it is at last time for me to enact some degree of retribution on the toys which I associate with throttling my childhood prematurely. Here are the ten worst Transformers ever.
"Come along, space dudes - all aboard our Space Shuttle for another trip into orbit, and - whoah! Our Space Shuttle just turned into a big lynx with a tiny gold head, or something!"
It's nonsense. Utter nonsense.
This begs the question of what exactly the "disguise" aspect of the figure was - not least due to its chunky purple thighs, and yellow arms and tail. People wouldn't exactly turn a blind eye to Cindersaur if it came shuffling down their street coughing up embers, like it had just inhaled a fag.
Either way, people aren't going to ignore it, and neither are the Decepticons. And while I've got you: Decepticon is a dreadful name. It's like if Vladimir Putin change his name to President Uptonogoodski.
Transformers? Pfft. More like GLANSformers.