However, we've played enough now to feel we have a sense of the game, and decided we needed to step in to provide something of a firebreak from the raging onslaught of unanimously positive reviews.
Reviews, we're assuming, by people who've never played an RPG before, and have never heard of Lord of the Rings, or Game of Thrones, or Xena: Warrior Princess. People who inexplicably grew up without ever once realising that there was a genre of fiction called "fantasy", and believe The Witcher 3 to be the greatest, most original, most epic story ever told.
Frankly, The Witcher 3 angered us so much that we couldn't hold anything back - not least our immense and all-consuming fury. So... is this going to be a review that damns The Witcher 3 outright? Actualy, it's not quite as simple as that. You see... well... just read on, sweet nuggets. Read on!