This week, I've taken a trip back to the 1970s, and written some special politically incorrect jokes that are really racist and so forth. Being a comedian means you have to risk putting noses out of joint. All proper comedians know that unfortunately we can't always avoid offending people, especially if we go out of our way to be offensive.
Here come the jokes, alright? And if you are offended - please just remember: it's just a joke.
ANSWER: He was being chased by an angry overweight foreign woman waving a rolling pin.
QUESTION: What happens if you kick a foreigner?
ANSWER: He or she gets hurt.
QUESTION: Why are foreigners so terrifying?
ANSWER: They're really different to us. OMG even their faces are different FML.
QUESTION: How do you get revenge on a foreigner who has wronged you?
ANSWER: Go to war with his nation.
QUESTION: What does all foreign food taste like?
ANSWER: Too rich. Just disgusting.
QUESTION: What's a foreigner's favourite band?
QUESTION: What do you call an even more foreign Rob Reiner?
QUESTION: Is Lenny Henry a foreigner?
ANSWER: Depends if you're a foreigner.
QUESTION: What's a foreigner's favourite reptile?
ANSWER: A Foreiguana.
QUESTION: How can a foreigner make themselves better understood to me?
ANSWER: Speak English.
QUESTION: What do you call millions of foreigners in a place, doing stuff, and living, and going to work, and socialising and so on?
ANSWER: Another country.
QUESTION: What would happen if a foreigner was suddenly teleported to the moon?
ANSWER: He'd probably die or float off into space.
QUESTION: How would a foreigner steer a quartet of horses?
ANSWER: Four reigns (sets of reigns).
QUESTION: What do foreigners do when they see a familiar face?
ANSWER: Recognise it.
QUESTION: Why did the foreigner get so fat?
ANSWER: You might as well face it - he was "addicted to carbs"!
QUESTION: How did the foreigner eat the apple?
ANSWER: He munched it.
Well, that's the end of my racist jokes. They were probably alright. Here's an advert. Bye.
"Thanks" - Mr K, Luton
"Thanks for sending me the book" - Mr N, Manchester
"Thanks for sending the book. I'll read it this weekend," - Mr P, Inverness
"Thanks for that. Looking forward to reading," Mr L, Bournemouth
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