Dunno about you, but we never really got a Game of Thrones vibe from Zelda. The series has always felt to us like an individual hero's journey - not some sprawling fantasy political epic with incest-boobs.
According to numerous reports, the series is in the early stages of development - Netflix is still seeking writers. However, if you can't wait for them to get their act into gear, rest easy - for there are already numerous Zelda-inspired fan-made movies available, that might just sate your lust for Hyrule. Providing you can overlook the bad wigs and performances.
Because we love you, Digitiser 2000 has taken a look at five of the most notable efforts. Just - oh-hoh! - click on the Links to watch them. We so funneee...
The Hero of Time has been knocking around for years, and is interesting for a number of reasons. Foremost among these is the main character's appalling wig. At least, we hope it's a wig, otherwise... damn - somebody needs conditioner.
Second of the reasons is that The Hero of Time is a full-length movie - almost two hours of primarily bad acting, special effects that are most generously described as 'ambitious', and a plot inspired loosely by Ocarina of Time. Still, nice music (though that's a bit like complimenting a suffocated cat by saying "At least you still have a face").
Notably, Nintendo demonstrated its usual heavy-handed approach to protecting its intellectual properties, and banned the filmmakers from distributing the film online. Fortunately, the Internet being the Internet, the film is still available. And you can watch it below.
Mercifully brief, the action-led The Dark Mask takes its cues from - as you'd expect - Majora's Mask. With some surprisingly decent action and effects, this sadly features the least Link-like of all the Zelda fan movie Links - casting that's about as on the money as giving the role to, y'know, Shia LaBeouf or Danny Dyer, or someone. In fact, we found this atypically brunette, mouth-breathing, Link a little on the creepy side.
Ending on a cliffhanger, the filmmakers promised to continue the 'story' if it got a million views on YouTube. Suffice to say, no sequel yet...
The creator of this short film admits he just "threw it together" to "play with some bloody effects". Indeed, it's a surprisingly gory visit to Hyrule - with a sneering, demonic, and pierced Link slitting throats and disembowelling. It's pretty well shot, mind - though does little to hide the fact they filmed it in a park.
There's a follow-up, Hylian Heroics 2 natch, which takes strides towards being more polished and cinematic, and seemingly features a battle with The Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Another effort featuring a Link who doesn't really evoke Link (and feels more like an excuse for some bloke to live out his cosplay fantasy), this is really just an excuse to throw some special effects at the screen - specifically the series' iconic Skulltulas... though they don't exactly convince.
Ill-rendered spiders aside, it's pretty well done, with some light parkour selling the action - but there's not really a lot going on beyond that.
Easily the best of these movies, not least because it doesn't go the obvious route of simply trying to recreate the games in live action form. It's the story of a young girl - who, ironically, is easily the most convincing Link of all the ones we've seen - dreaming of breaking free of her miserable life by escaping into the fantasy of the Zelda universe.
The Zelda sequences are a bit ropey and over-lit, but the real-world stuff is well-shot, and surprisingly affecting. The last we heard, the director was hoping to turn it into a full-length movie. We'd be interested to see how that goes. And by "interested" we mean "not that interested, but wish him the best of luck nonetheless".