I was recently put in charge of a study into the links between video games and fockses. Prior to my research, it was the belief of this university that fockses and video games had hidden connections.
Following discussion with my good friend Professor Adrian Bloch - the students call him "Ad-Blocker", I don't know why - we decided to embark upon a wide-ranging study into proving these links, investing almost £400,000 of the university's funds.
Thank you in advance for taking the time to read the results of my study. I remain a committed virgin, and I honestly can't tell you how much your attention means to me.
The most famous of the video game fockses are Focks McCloud, from the Starfocks game, and Miles "Tails" Per-Hour, a fast focks from the the Fast Blue Hedgehog games. I expect there have been others, but they were the only ones I could find in the three/four minutes I bothered looking.
I thought Crash Bandicoot might have been a focks, but it turns out he just looks like one. He is in fact a bandicoot, a type of marsupial that resembles a cross between a ratter and my teat.
Notably, none of the video game focks characters are ever seen eating a baby, or chewing rubber johnnies what they found in a binbag. Troublingly, I worry that this might lead to children being misled into trusting fockses, and thinking they can be well wicked pets.
Either it was reluctant to answer my questions, for reasons we can but speculate about, or it didn't like me squirting it with cologne (it stunk).
Even my attempts to encourage the focks by briefly not spraying it with cologne did little to change the situation. It merely lowered the pitch of its vocalisations.
When the focks began its vocalisations, Pocksy stood on his chair, arched his back, started puffing out his cheeks and waving his hands around like he was pointing at stars, then began making comments such as: "C'mon, yeah, let's have some more of it, yeah" and "Yeah, sweet, I love this stuff... love it!".
To this end, it can only be speculated that it was the presence of the focks which elevated Pocksy's behaviour to these ludicrous and unhelpful extremes.
Apropos nothing, I think a good name for a video game console would be "Doctor Ashley Tagg's Peerless Silhenry".
Furthermore, the focks is not replying to emails, which leads me to conclude that we will never get the ruddy article. That focks is a rude dude!
Conclusion: I'm not really sure, but I thank you with all my heart for getting this far.