That's what I've done, and if you don't believe me... well... just take a look below. Hello... no Super Mario Bros. for the NES? Urrrrnh! It wasn't a launch title, probably. Don't have a go, yeah?
If this idea doesn't "pat your whimsy" then you could select from this list of alternative activities:
- Take a bath with your eight sons.
- Use a hard rod to destroy all of your existing consoles and computers, in order to make space for the Switch.
- Recall your favourite cloud.
- Trap a cod in a harp.
- Colour in a rhombus.
- Rhombus rhombus rhombus brrrrhombrrrusss!
- Do some research, okay?
- 12345678910!
- And so on.
Come on now... let's take a look at that sweeeeeeet list...!
But wait!
The Mega Drive version of Golden Axe might not be the most fondly-remembered game of all time, nor even the most fondly-remembered Mega Drive game, but... it was near as dammit as you could've imagined to the arcade version. Indeed, without the benefit of a YouTube side-by-side comparison, most Mega Drive owners would've thought they were playing the original.
Then again, most Mega Drive owners probably struggled to remember their own names, and would frequently turn up to work having forgotten their trousers.
Were it not for Golden Axe, there wasn't much about the Mega Drive on launch day to suggest that it would become one of the most important consoles of its generation. And yet... it gave us hope.
Tetris was a game that spanned social and societal lines - played as much by presidents as it was by paupers/porpoises. Furthermore, it was as addictive as your daily downers - the epitome of "one last go" dependence.
It has become a cliche to describe it as easy to play but difficult to master, yet that was precisely its appeal. One minute you were struggling to get a line... the next week you'd been racking up triple figures on a regular basis. Tetris is the main reason the Game Boy was a phenomenon.
"From Russia... WITH FUN" indeed.
F-Zero, though, was unlike anything else. It showed off what the Super NES could do in a way that Super Mario World could never have done - and had one of the greatest soundtracks of all time to boot. Indeed, it also shone a light on the reality that not all 16-bit games consoles were created equally.
In fact, F-Zero was so exciting that some players lost all control, and shaved one... two... three... four parts of their father's body!
What does the F stand for? Father's Body..
Another almost-perfect arcade conversion from a company which made its name in arcades, the impact of seeing a game like this running in your own home was - at the time - as significant as discovering the ghost of Jim Henson hanging out in your pantry with his trousers down.
Like Third World famine, the Internet, and David Walliams, we take 3D graphics for granted nowadays, but Virtua Fighter was a proper quantum leap. When the Saturn booted up, and you saw all that spinny, polygon nonsense actually happening on your TV for the first time, it was staggering.
However...! What Wipeout did was set the stage for the PlayStation to become a lifestyle accessory. With its slick visuals, iconic branding, and soundtrack featuring number one groovyboys The Chemical Brothers, Leftfield, and Orbital, it succeeded in making the PlayStation appear cool to people for whom such a meaningless, subjective, social aesthetic is important.
Also, with far more tracks than that other PlayStation launch day drive 'em up, Ridge Racer, you actually got your money's worth.
What is rarely recalled these days is that Wipeout was also released for the Saturn. The Saturn version was faster and had more songs, but suffered from a rubbish frame rate, and the Saturn's inability to handle transparent graphics. Somehow, when it turned up on Sega's machine, it was like watching your dad trying to breakdance at a funeral.
The fact that the Saturn version is rarely remembered, demonstrates just how important Wipeout was to establishing the PlayStation narrative.
Whether you were a Nintendo fanboy or not, there was no way of ignoring Mario 64; it changed everything... EXCEPT YOUR POOEY UNDERPANTS!!!!!
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL...?
I confess to not being the biggest fan of the Halo series - it's hard to take a paramilitary sci-fi shooter seriously when you're shooting at what amounts to a race of shrieking, alien Munchkins - but its hard to argue against the impact of the game which kicked it all off.
"Halo - is it me you're looking for?"
Yes... yes it was.
It's these mini games, rather than the main game, which justify Super Mario 64 DS's inclusion in this list, for they helped to sell the potential of the new handheld's double touchscreen capabilities. Pre-dating Apple's iPod Touch by around three years, there had never been anything like the DS.
Indeed, Angry Birds - one of the smartphone era's biggest games - owes an enormous debt to Nintendo.
By giving this game away for free, Nintendo was able to position the Wii as much as a family toy as a games console. How many people never bothered buying anything else for the system? As a business strategy it might not have paid dividends for Nintendo, but there's no denying that it was, once again, a case of software and hardware soulmates - and ensured the company shifted a ton of the latter.
I'm not convinced that there's a Tetris or Wii Sports available in the Nintendo Switch launch line-up, but already some are calling Zelda: Breath of the Wild one of the greatest console launch titles ever.
I'll let you know what I think in due course - right after I've coloured in this rhombus.