Just as you did with the show, flinging these short(ish) videos far and wide really helps; we want to build the subscriber base with regular content, so that we have a healthy-sized audience by the time the show returns proper.
Of course, work continues on planning the live show and series 2. We had some interesting discussions yesterday regarding all that, and hopefully we'll have some splendid news to share soon. Sit tight for now. If we have a hope of making them as good as possible, it's going to take some time.
That's the update. And now? Here come de letters!
If you'd like to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, or you've got a picture of a bin you wish to share, please send your filthy emails to this place here: email@example.com
- How often do folks send emails to you with pale imitations of your iconic (anti-)humour? e.g. the so-called Man’s Daddy joke in the January 18th letters page.
- I like to think that - “in-universe” - the products in your fake ads were all made by Xenoxxx/GJ Industries, even if this is not explicitly stated. Is this the case?
- Had any ideas on how to integrate the Digitiser characters into the main segments for Series 2 of The Show?
- Care to share those ideas, or link to a place where you have already done so?
- What is the Beautiful Boy all about?
2. Hunh. Well, Found Footage was something of an utterly pointless attempt to tie together everything from Digi to Biffovision to Knife & Wife even. I mean, only about three people would even care, but I did it anyway, just for shits and giggles. There's obviously some small crossover of characters between Found Footage and Digitiser The Show, and Digitiser and Found Footage... so you be the judge. BE IT.
5. He's just really beautiful and I want everyone to enjoy that. Is that so wrong?
Do you still take submissions for reader reviews? If so, is there a word limit? Been playing Immortal Unchained on PS4. A dark soulsesque shooter, it's had mixed to poor reviews, unfairly so I think, there's lots to recommend it.
And because I'm too nice for my own good, I don't like letting making people sad, so I felt I had to use all of them... but truthfully... some of the pieces we got required quite a lot of, uh, extensive sub-editing, to the point - on a few occasions - where it was just as quick to write something original myself. And really, I have to make it a blanket rule, otherwise I'll end up spending too much time responding to article suggestions, and explaining myself, and disappointing people even more than I do already.
So, currently, the only two outsiders I allow on these pages are Larry Bundy Jr and Super Bad Advice - both of whom require next to no subbing. And only when I'm too busy to write something myself.
When was the last time you listened to The Queen Is Dead in its entirety?
It's weird though... I couldn't listen to anything by Morrissey now, as a result of certain comments from him in recent years. There's that old debate about the separation of art and artist, but... if a piece of work can be considered to be art, then the creator of it has to invest themselves into it... and, well... y'know. It taints it for me, I'm afraid.
I mean, I know people are complex. They're multi-layered, and there's more to a person than even just a point of view that I might find repellent. It may seem counterintuitive, but even the most abhorrent racist is still capable of kindness and compassion.
At the same time, I can't ever again see myself watching anything written by Graham Linehan, but then I've been watching him tweet for more than a year now, and consider him a repellent transphobe who seems utterly lacking in self-awareness, using the exact same sort of language and arguments and methodology racists use to justify their views, using extreme language in one breath, and then trying to reign it back in with cherry-picked facts in the next.
"Some of my best friends are trans, and they agree that we must protect our children from the scary caravan of trans people coming over the desert to bigly molest our women!"
"Hmm. He makes some good points, you know. They DO sound scary!"
And then he goes into victim mode and whinges about getting abused. When will people learn that extremism begets extremism? It's no way to have a debate, or get a point across.
Plus, given that it's literally all he tweets about, I actually think there's something a bit wrong with him.
Anyway. Sorry. I'm just SO fucking angry about it. Moving on.
276) In your opinion, have their been more good Star Trek games or Star Wars games?
277) While I think that the PlayStation Classic received an unfairly hard time from the computer game press, I wouldn't claim it was a definitive catalogue of the PS1. Let's say we limit you to 5 games, what should have been on there that wasn't?
278) Forgetting the rights and wrongs of the new Assassin's Creed DLC 'controversy,' am I wrong to find it a bit disturbing that the developers feel the need to apologise for their creative choice to appease the electronic mob? Surely any art form does not owe fans of it anything. Whether the DLC ending makes for a good component of the larger story is one thing, but apologising for it is fatuous. Nobody insisted that David Bowie apologise for his unpopular albums in the late 80s and 90s.
279) Which games console/computer system would you say had the most innovative games catalogue? I will discount PC because it's impossible to isolate generations/models.
280) What event had more impact on computer games history, Sony entering the console market or the industry crash of 1983?
277) Yeah, it did get an unfairly hard time. Those people ranting about it seemed to miss the point of these shrunk-down replicas: they're for casual buyers, not the hardcore. Anyhow... 5 games? Tomb Raider, Resident Evil, Metal Gear Solid, Wipeout, Crash Bandicoot. That's a pretty good representative spread of the big icons, yes?
278) There's enormous pressure in this age of internet mob mentality to apologise. If anything, it's used as marketing damage control. But yeah...
279) This is a real good question. I'm tempted to say Gamecube. I nearly went for the N64, but there were so many me-too Mario 64 clones. Just for starters, the Gamecube had Eternal Darkness, Super Mario Sunshine, Viewtiful Joe, Metroid Prime, Paper Mario, Luigi's Mansion, Super Monkey Ball and Pikmin.
280) That's really hard to say. The effects of the crash were huge - in that it hobbled Atari, and gave rise to Nintendo - but the PlayStation really was a game-changer, and the point at which gaming, in some respects, came of age. The marketing of consoles changed completely, but... I dunno. What do other people think?
My wife is weird. She watches hours upon hours of Youtube videos on theme parks and roller coasters. Yet she doesn't like going on the big rides. So I end up going on them by myself while she stands to the side, staring and pointing at me.
Anyway, she wants to go to Europa Park in Germany this year. Have you got any theme park plans for the year? If you haven't heard of Efteling then you should check it out out as I think it would be up right up your back alley (oh-err).
Theme park plans? I'd love to go to Orlando in the summer, but then I always do. It's just so damned expensive to take the whole family. Obviously, this is the year that Disney opens their Star Wars lands - Disneyland in June-ish, and Disney World in the autumn - but I can see that being absolutely rammed for the foreseeable.
That said, we never got a proper honeymoon last year, so if we can palm the kids off on someone for 10 days, I'd gladly wait in line for nine hours to fly the Millennium Falcon.
Loved your write up on hating Smash Bros, but still buying it. I'm the same with Final Fantasy games....they are rubbish. I still buy them though. Do you have any other franchises you despise, but still buy their output?
P.S. Kingdom Hearts 3 is out next week....I'm having THAT!
I got a spare couple of hours recently, and decided to play some old Star Wars games I never had: Jedi Knight 2 and X-Wing Alliance.
JK2 is absolutely, unforgivingly hard and gave me motion sickness, which was a surprise. Quite liked it though: the level design is a wee bit contrary and no lightsaber from the start, but yeah. I can see what they were getting at. Tried to like XWA but it’s a bit heavy for me. The fan-made graphics packs to get it up to date didn’t make it any more palatable.
So, inspired by Stuart Campbell’s bigging-up of the Dolphin emulator I played an .iso of Rogue Squadron 2 for hours and hours and hours, much longer than I should have. I played it to death when it came out originally and was rewarded all over again. Best Star Wars game for me by a mile.
Reckon they’ll ever get back to non-Battlefront style games? Hopefully Disney pull the licence from EA soon and we get something proper again.
Hi. Can I get a second opinion, please?
Dun dun duuuuuuuuuunnnnn.
On Sunday night, I had the most weird and vivid dream regarding Digitiser The Show, to the point that when I woke up I had to write it all down so I didn't forget it, (as is often the case), but I swear this is all real.
It involved an edition of Digitiser that, for some reason, has gone on the road, (like Get Fresh used to), turning up in a different location each week.
For reasons never made clear, this edition was coming from inside a B+M Bargains in Darlington, and you and the team were using the toiletries aisle to do the presenting from, and for another reason, it was being simulcast live on BBC Radio 2.
There didn't seem to be much about gaming on it. For example, the special guest introduced by Octav1us was a disgruntled Charlie Ross from Bargain Hunt, who was trying to do his shopping and he didn't much like being disturbed (he had a basket with a few bottles of Strongbow in it), while Paul Gannon was in the tinned soups aisle talking to the audience, consisting of young children, asking the usual questions about their hobbies.
On top of that, there was a special cut away film (Top Gear style) in which you and the team were in Bolivia, trying to deliver a truck with a large wooden box in it up a dangerous mountain track, while there was another cutaway of an unknown man on a railway platform trying to race his Scalextric against a train passing at speed. Then I woke up.
I have no idea what any of this means, I wasn't even sure whether to share this with you, but at least it wasn't anything rude I suppose. But, it just seems so random. I'm not even sure if there is a B+M Bargains's in Darlington anyways.
I had watched the Digitiser video on the Anti-Games Piracy solutions before I went to bed, so I guess that must have been how the dream came about, I don't supposed you'll be able to explain it, or if you'd ever take Digitiser on the road (not like how I dreamt it, but in a more traditional way.) But keep up the good work, love the show, and good luck with Series 2!
Stuart Kenny, Age 34 and a half.
P.S. A big hello to Digitiser's Associate Producer Matthew Long too!!
We're still batting around ideas for the live show, but I'd actually love to do a Digitiser tour. I doubt the audience is out there to make it feasible, but I imagine it'd be a lot of fun. We've actually got the structure of the live show more or less nailed down now - we just need to sort out the venue...
Is it just me, or does anyone else find that no matter how exquisitely detailed a game is (I’m looking at your retracting horse balls, RDR2), no matter how many polygons and mip-maps and voxel doodahs (I am not technical, can you tell?) there are, there’s nowt better than sitting down to a golden oldie and having your imagination filling in the gaps without flapping about lack of detail.
I mean... it’s nice looking at explosions in Just Cause 3 that are the size of my mum and all that, but then do you start to notice things that are missing or not-quite-right? Why doesn’t the foliage do this? Why doesn’t this cause that? Why does that building look like utter bollocks? And why doesn’t the glass smash? With high detail, you have high expectations. Or am I alone here?
This is why I think we had it better in the olden, golden days. You didn’t care if physics weren’t a thing, or that there were no background graphics – you could use your imagination. I think being a kid helped as well, but I won’t split hairs.
As much as I love my Titan XP so I can run my games on MAXIMUM TITS (this needs to be a new buzzword), and run around huge and beautiful worlds – I’ll never be happier than firing up a Megadrive and playing on that for many an hour. Less is more.
I think I’ve forgotten the point I was going to make with this letter, so I’ll sign off by saying EA and Activision are weapons-grade horse touchers.
In response to your deliberately inflammatory, controversial-for-clicks and entirely incorrect “article” on Super Smash Bros. Ultimate...
Nothing made it more clear that people can have different tastes than the revelation that you think McDonald’s is an acceptable substitute for food. I find their products incredibly grim, why is everything so limp? The only thing that’s close to edible are the “fries” (chips) on the 100 to 1 chance they are fresh.
The next thing is a question:
0. It’s not the first time you’ve mentioned buying digitally, do you prefer it to physical and if so why? I’d rather have a physical thing that I definitely own forever and more importantly physical is nearly always cheaper, I could never bring myself to pay more to get something that doesn’t exist... yet in spite of my rampant cheapness I’d rather pay a bit more for food than endure the major fast food outlets, how contrary.
Other questions that I’ve thought of because of digital distribution are...now:
1. People whinge on about Nintendo shutting down ROM sites, but at least all those ROMS exist out their somewhere. What happens when the servers are no longer available for the online video game systems? I imagine we aren’t far off this being a reality for PS3 games, you could buy a disk and still not have access to the vast majority of the game.
2. While I’m on about curation, should games like No Man’s Sky, which is apparently completely different now than it was at launch, have an option so you can play every version? If not isn’t it revisionist history?
3. Does the long term availability of digital stuff only bother me? I’m always 5-10 years behind everyone else in terms of what games I’m playing; an old game might end up ludicrously expensive on eBay, but at least it’s there. A digital only game can be deleted forever and I’m frightened of missing out.
1. This isn't something I've ever thought about or care about.
2. I suspect if you asked the team behind No Man's Sky, the original version was incomplete. I've not played it since it came out, but the sense I get isn't so much that it's a whole new game, just that they've built upon what was originally there. Going back to the original version would, presumably, just feel like a less-good version.
3. I refer you to Answer 1.
A quick one this week. Basically it's Desert Island Discs... and others.
The one *insert item here* that everyone should experience.
1. Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd (If nothing else, Welcome to the Machine should be mandatory listening for anyone with ears).
2. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas (It's just good pulpy fun).
3. Schindlers List ('nuff said).
4. Mirrors Edge (in particular the time trials DLC as they were the purest distillation of what made the game fascinating).
Have a great weekend.
2. Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari.
3. The Empire Strikes Back.
4. Half-Life 2.
My parents bought me a Dragon 32 and I consider this the best games system ever. If more people had bought it do you think we wouldn’t have Brexit now?
Once more, I have nothing games/retro related to say, so here's another poo story (and also, if you leave it in, a bit of begging).
I was 18 years old, and I'd been at my boyfriend's house for nearly 2 weeks to celebrate his 18th birthday. His parents were aware we were dating, but we chose to sleep in separate rooms out of respect to them. On the very last morning of my stay, I woke up early so that I could shower and get dressed in preparation for a long day travelling from Fareham back up to Walsall. Neither my boyfriend nor his parents were up yet, so I sat back in my bed and had a look on my phone.
I just thought it was a fart, and I trusted it.
It was not a fart.
I felt hot, wet, liquid shit squirt out of my bumhole like the last spray of ketchup from a bottle. I panicked. I didn't want to get shit on my boyfriend's family's sheets, and I didn't want to soil my shorts as they were the only clean ones I had left. I grabbed my crotch and waddled to the bathroom (handily directly beside the room I was sleeping in).
Poo was staining through my boxers, but I got my shorts down just in time that they weren't soiled. I tossed the boxers into the sink and turned the cold tap on before sitting on the toilet to squeeze out anything that might be left.
Then I realised I had a problem. I hadn't brought clean boxers in with me, nor did I have a bag or anything to put the now wet, still vaguely pooey boxers in.
Bish quick come to the loo I've pooed myself
BISH WAKE UP
My texts went unseen. My boyfriend was still fast asleep.
I pulled my shorts back on commando, balled the wet boxers up in my fist and moved the fastest I ever had, dashing across the landing and into my boyfriend's room. The first thing he saw upon waking was his boyfriend, slightly manic and clutching some pooey pants.
He provided me with a plastic bag, but not before laughing at my pooey predicament.
I hope you enjoyed my poo story! Somehow my boyfriend's parents quite like me still.
P.S. - This might not be right for the letters page, but you know Rhianan? Lovely Scottish Rhianan who supports Digitiser a lot?
A bunch of us are currently organising a big care package for her to say thank you to her for all she does (specifically the Cheap Show awards) and also to send some love her way because she doesn't get enough. Again, probably not right for the letters page, but if it is the link to contribute is here: https://twitter.com/findmethewords/status/1087833091228532743
It ends Saturday so people will have to be fast. I just figure that there might be some Digi fans who don't know me but know Rhianan. :)
Do you think you’ll ever get chance to put googly eyes on things again? Of all the things you’ve done that’s been my favourite.
I’m with you on Smash Brothers. I didn’t have a clue what was going on and didn’t care when playing it on the Wii. I did think that maybe it was because I’m too old for it and my senses just aren’t up to the very bright and kinetic aspects of some modern culture like those films Speed Racer and the Lego Movie and Scott Pilgrim. But looks it might just be crap, like Scott Pilgrim.
I really liked Spaced and the Cornetto trilogy, but I hated Scott Pilgrim and Baby Driver, and not because of, y’know, Spacey. Like Edgar Wright cares what I think. I’m rambling now.
Anyway, thanks for all great stuff.
I confess, I've been enjoying the Smash single-player mode more than I thought I would, but the moment you get multiple fights on screen, it just falls apart.
Also: I really liked Scott Pilgrim and Baby Driver, even though part of me hates them for being a bit overtly hipster-y.
As I lurch inexorably into middle age I've noticed a strange disparity between two pursuits I've grown to enjoy from a games perspective.
Cycling & running keep my otherwise expanding waistline in check, and it helps I'm fairly accomplished at both. Granted both are pretty niche and I'd imagine the hardcore gamer/runner or cyclist overlap is fairly uncommon.
There's the bafflingly regular Tour De France games from Focus Interactive, but I can't think of any reason why I'd rather play that instead of actually going cycling. It's not like cycling isn't a wide church. There's plenty of other disciplines within the sport that could be represented.
The closest you get is the likes of Zwift that seems to 'gamify' the otherwise dull indoor turbo trainer, but again it's road cycling. It's just bloody expensive at £12.99 a month, although just like a game you've bought and not played, it'll happily siphon off money from your account every month regardless of how much you avoid using it. Track cycling with its short sharp efforts would be well suited to a game interpretation but there's nothing really.
As for running, that's even worse off. Other than Daley Thompson's Decathlon and Athlete Kings to name a few retro games, there are no video game equivalents these days. There was an isolated minigame in the first Kinect Sports, but that's pretty much it from a games perspective.
Other middle aged obsessions are well represented; trains, Formula 1, rallying & golf; just not the running. This is odd, wouldn't you agree?
PS. what're your thoughts on full Sky replica kit on bog standard cyclists?
I was upset - upset, I tell you! - that I recently purchased a scratch ‘n sniff book only to find it would neither scratch nor sniff. I was expected to do both myself! Surely this is yet more evidence that The Man has it in for us. You know which Man, I’m sure of it. Tell him off, please!