Still, you've got to hand it to him; the feller spawned a company - and an empire - that has endured. Of course, such is the reach of Disney that it was inevitable that its tendrils would stretch into the world of video games. Admittedly, not every Disney game has been a classic - but when they've been good they've been very, very good. And when they've been bad they've been Disney Extreme Skateboarding.
Here are ten of the better ones.
Notably, it began a rewarding association between Disney and the Mega Drive. Other consoles would feature Disney games, but somehow the Mega Drive felt like their home. There was a 2.5D remake of Castle of Illusion released a few years back, but it failed to recapture the charm of the 16-bit original.
On a related note, what's the deal with Mickey? He doesn't look much like any mouse I've ever seen. Why is his face hairless? If you saw a mouse with an entirely hairless face you'd think it was sick. Perhaps Mickey is sick. He's certainly sick enough to wander around in a pair of hotpants, clogs and white gloves; the clothing of a pervert. Or perhaps he shaves his entire face. Which raises questions about what else he might take a razor to...
Anyway, what's going on with those two buttons on Mickey's shorts? Press left for wee and right for poo, yeah?
I've just realised that Aladdin is dressed like MC Hammer. That's a wholly inappropriate outfit to be wearing around a Middle Eastern marketplace. Take it from me; those guys are well touchy!
I used to work with somebody whose husband, during the first Gulf War, faxed a message to Saddam Hussein - via The Sun newspaper - which read "I was in Baghdad when you were in YOUR DAD'S BAG".
Apparently, his boss had felt this was tantamount to inviting reprisals upon his place of business, presumably from angry Saddam supporters who had somehow seen the fax and traced it back to its source.
While everybody else was consoling her over the news, the only thing I could think to offer was: "But what was he trying to say? It doesn't even make any sense..."
And talking of authenticity, the game of course boasted an interpretation of the film's soundtrack, written by Tim Rice and Elton John - the world's most African men.
One thing it didn't incorporate was that bit where Simba flops down in a field of flowers, and all the petals and pollen float up into the sky and form the word "Sex", if you squint. Presumably this was courtesy of a Disney animator who wanted the whole world to know that sex was their favourite thing.
Unfortunately, the presence of Oswald simply raises more questions about Mickey himself, given that they sport the same black body-and-white-face. Oswald might be wearing shorts, but doesn't bother with the clogs or the gloves - making him slightly less sinister, and two-thirds more naked. How's that for mixed signals?!
The third and final game in the series even introducers characters from Tron and the Pirates of the Carribean movies. They included Jack Sparrow - a role created by Johnny Depp which, as time goes on, looks increasingly like a cry for help.
Donald, as has been endlessly debated, doesn't wear anything on the lower half of his body, yet remains clothed above his waist. Goofy, however - he's a dog, or something (which raises questions about the indentured servitude into Pluto has been forced) is entirely clothed. Can you imagine a party where one of your friends turned up in a shirt but no trousers or pants, and another friend nothing but a pair of hotpants, clogs and white gloves?
Do you know what sort of party that would be? That's right: a special party...
In some respects, that's worse than killing them outright; you might be granting them the ability to fly, but you're also dooming them to life as a bird. Could that be classed as GBH under the law?
Yes, Donald and Mickey might be able to argue that they're acting in self-defence, but surely there's some legal provision to account for their actions. Maybe not manslaughter, but at the very least it's some manner of assault.
Not anymore of course. Disney axed the game, and has stopped making figures for it.
It played like a King's Quest game, albeit simplified for younger audiences; many of the text commands were assigned to individual key presses, a feature that would later become standard for point-and-click titles. You know: as the younger generation got older, yet refused to do "adulting".
Want the world handed to you on a plate don't you, you entitled little pigs?
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