Suffice to say, the Internet went into meltdown over this undeniably pretty image - which hews to established Star Wars poster designs.
But what can it all mean? Who are all these new characters? What are these new things, mixed in with some familiar faces and things?
Allow Digitiser2000 to put an end to your ceaseless wondering, with this mental breakdown of all the main elements in the image - and what exactly they mean for The Force Awakens.
As they say in Star Wars Land... Maybe the Force will be with YOU!!!!!
Mumbling something about "the circle of life" and "waste not want not", Rey popped the starling in her mouth - but then began to choke on its tiny spine. Though she managed to dislodge the bones, by performing a space Heimlich manoeuvre on herself, the event gave her a unique insight into the fragility of all life, as well as her own capacity for stupidity.
Whereas Vader hissed and wheezed like a malfunctioning boiler, Ren's speech will be punctuated by the unmistakable chattering of his teeth, and smacking of his lips. Ren has one more surprise up his sleeve - literally! When startled, a long, brown hose unfurls itself from within his robes, and writhes back and forth on the ground.
At any given moment, Finn reaches into his jacket, pulls out a pear, and starts munching away. "Mmm... that's some good pear," he'll say. "I have an addiction to pear I think".
Suffice to say, it puts a curious wrinkle in the relationship between the two old friends, when C3-PO begins stuffing a mysterious organic matter into his stomach hole, in a desperate bid to be more like his companion.
Han Solo will waste no opportunity to remind us of our own mortality, grumbling repeatedly about incontinence and space pensions, whereas Princess Leia is glimpsed digging Solo's grave - using his actual headstone. In a bid to make Star Wars even more relevant to modern audiences, the ever-young Chewbacca starts his own galactic Internet show, called YouChewb, for which he unboxes space hairbrushes and combs.
But where's Luke Skywalker? SPOILER: He's dead, but his bloated corpse will be dragged through scenes by whichever character happens to have nothing better to do. In order to ensure a family-friendly rating, the Skywalker corpse will be pixellated on screen.
Sadly, this tactic rarely works for the big space doofus, and on seven previous occasions Poe has burst his beach ball out of anger. Will BB-8 survive Poe's next trip to the beach? Find out soon!