I wasn't back, but now I am back. Back - once again - like the renegade master. You know: the one with the ill behaviour.
As I have whined about previously on these pages and so-called "social" media, it had been a while since I'd played any video games. I was busy doing Found Footage, I was busy finishing up my work so that I could have time - and money - to take the family away. Thus, something had to give. Alas, games were the thing that had to go. Well, except for Word Soup on my iPhone, which - I'll admit - scarcely counts as a game.
Still, I knew the day was approaching when I would game again, and... thank Korky for the Switch, and its portable qualities.
Six months on and I'm happy to declare that Nintendo's Switch is now up there with the Xbox 360 and Super NES as one of my favourite games consoles of all time. I suspect that position is only going to consolidate once I've played Super Mario Odyssey.
This isn't because I'm some blinkered Nintendo fanboy - lest we forget, I thought the Wii U was a rat's lavatory, and I never really fell in love with the N64. Nevertheless, throughout the dips, I retained an optimistic respect for Nintendo's stubborn, singular, determination to do things their way.
I love the purity of Nintendo's approach, the craftsmanship, the uniqueness. And I respect them for trying different things, even when they didn't get it right first time. The Switch feels like a confident consolidation of the Nintendo approach, a vast eff-off to rest of the industry. It's Nintendo digging its heels in, and saying "It doesn't all have to be like that".
Or maybe it isn't that at all. Maybe, and more likely, Nintendo just ignores the rest of the industry, and isn't even aware of what's going on with Sony and Microsoft.
Like most, I had my doubts about the Switch. We forget that the launch line-up wasn't all that, because Breath of the Wild blew us all away. We forget how we all grumbled pre-release at how low-powered it felt compared to its rivals. We weren't sure about the controllers, the battery life, the build quality, that dreadful too-cool-for-school lifestyle ad.
Since then, though, all our worries have been proven unfounded. Furthermore, Nintendo's slow-and-steady release schedule has borne fruit. While I was away, as well as playing a lot of Sonic Mania - a multi-format title, which feels more at home on the Switch than any other system - I finally caught up with Arms and Splatoon 2. And the kids played a bit of 1-2-Switch.
Nobody else makes games like these. Nobody. And if they do make games a bit like these, they feel crowbarred onto machines which weren't designed for them. I mean, I should've loved Yooka-Laylee, but playing it on the PS4 felt incongruous. It was like turning up to a grown-up dinner party in a Jack Sparrow fancy dress costume, and interrupting a fascinating conversation about investment portfolios by putting your face in the trifle and going "Blub-a-lub-a-lub".
It's weird. I can't entirely put my finger on it, but Nintendo games - or, rather, Nintendo-style games - now seem jarring when they appear on consoles designed for photorealistic RPGs and first-person shooters.
Even Super Mario Run felt kind of wrong on my iPhone. Hopefully, the Switch has been enough of a success that Nintendo has taken a few steps back from the smartphone precipice.
I've still barely played the Switch on my TV. For me, it remains a handheld system - the most powerful handheld of all time - and the thrill of being on holiday, and being able to play proper console-quality games, is still a novelty. Albeit not a fidget spinner-type novelty that we're all going to move on from in a year, but one which I suspect - hope - will become the new normal.
I think what I love most about the Switch is what I loved about the original Wii; the fact it has been a success means that Nintendo will feel confident enough to stick to its guns, and not take a radical course-correction. There'll be no watered-down Call of Duty games on the Switch, and it would smack of desperation if there were.
This is a system for playing the kind of games Nintendo wants to make - and what's wonderful about most of those games is that they feel like an evolution of the games Nintendo was making 20, 30 years ago.
The Switch is an oasis of optimism in a cynical, scary, world. It feels, to me, warm and welcoming, and an antidote to games which reflect the times we live in, rather than offer an alternative, a better place.
And surely that's something we can all benefit from these days?