But what do I think of the game so far? Read on for my early thoughts...
But there's more: "Choose your hero and clash on the battlefields of tomorrow. Bend time, defy physics, and wield extraordinary powers in the ultimate team-based shooter."
Not the penultimate team-based shooter... but nothing less than the ultimate team-based shooter! Best get it while you can, everyone: there aren't going to be anymore team-based shooters after this one, apparently!!!!
Unfortunately, I'll have to take their word for it, as it has been downloading an update file for two hours now, and still has 83 minutes left to go.
Then it started downloading something else. Or started again from the beginning. Either way, it has been taking a very long time, and I'm slightly losing the will to live. It's making me so depressed I'll be going back to Homefront: The Revolution at this rate. You know: as a form of self-harm.
I'm sure it'll be worth the wait though!!!! Overwatch IS the ultimate team-based shooter after all!!!!
Of course, as exciting as that sounds, I've no idea what one of those might be, given that - more than two hours after unwrapping the game and shoving it in my PS4 - I'm still not able to play it.
94 minutes left to go now. I simply can't wait!!!!
Perhaps a Noire Widowmaker Skin is a type of novelty prophylactic. I didn't see anything when I opened the box. Maybe it fell out...
Honestly. All the way home today I was strutting down the street all like "I'm gonna get my game on". People were looking at me. They were whooping and applauding, so infectious was my excitement.
"U-S-A! U-S-A!" they chanted, for they knew that I would be getting my game on the second I walked through the door.
Incidentally, I just paused the download and restarted it, and now there's 5 hours left to go. So, that worked well.
This is progress apparently. This is the world we have made.
And here is my review of that: s'alright. It's got a sort of manga person on the cover, and she/he has a couple of guns. And some goggles on.
Perhaps she/he has been doing some welding. Or is going skiing. It's pretty radical stuff. Really, y'know, really original. Tells me everything I need to know about the game.
I'm pretty sure if I hadn't bought it sight unseen with my 1-Click ordering, I'd have walked into Game, and it would've leapt out of the shelves at me.
I'd have taken one look at that anything-but- nondescript cover and gone: "WOW!!!!! I GOTTA HAVE ME THIS GAME!!! IT'S LIKE NOTHING I'VE EVER SEEN!!!! MY MIND IS REELING!!!! I'M GONNA SIT DOWN, RIGHT HERE, IN GAME, AND JUST RUB MY KNUCKLES AGAINST MY TEMPLES, WHILE WHIMPERING, BECAUSE MY BRAIN CANNOT PROCESS THE IMPROBABLE LEVELS OF GRAPHIC DESIGN ORIGINALITY!!!!"
Groundbreaking. I'm playing the game vicariously through these powerfully evocative visuals, which suggest exactly the sort of excitement I can expect from this: the game Overwatch!!!!
I might go and sit in the garden. It's a nice evening. Sausage and mash for tea tonight. Can't wait to poo that out tomorrow.
- WILL THIS REVIEW-IN-PROGRESS OF DOOM (PS4) BE ENOUGH TO WAKE THESE SLEEPING PEOPLE FROM THEIR ETERNAL SLUMBER?
- REVIEW-IN-PROGRESS: HAVE A LOOK AT THESE SHITTING BABIES WHILE I TELL YOU WHAT I THINK OF THE PS4 VERSION OF 'TOM CLANCY'S THE DIVISION' THUS FAR
- CAN YOU MAKE IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH THIS REVIEW-IN-PROGRESS OF UNCHARTED 4 WHILE THESE MONKEYS SHOUT THE C-WORD AT YOU?