Or maybe it'll never come out.
You see, Nintendo has a long history of filing patents which never see the light of day. Some of the patents are more peculiar than others. Break out the "razzers", kids: this is a celebration of the latter!
It's a relatively recent patent, so it may yet come to pass that you'll be able to see the uncoordinated miniature American football players doing Y.M.C.A.
If you'd like to understand more, here's an extract from the patent application:
"A projection method in which an inclined plane with respect to a plane that is parallel to a plane including a left eye viewpoint and a right eye viewpoint and is a common tangent plane of the right eye cornea and the left eye cornea is set as a projection plane and an image is projected such that geometric image distortion is reduced as viewed from a user's viewpoint, the projection method performed using a controller that generates a control signal in accordance with a user's operation, the projection method comprising: (a) projecting an image on the projection plane, the step of projecting including projecting a first test image including a vertical reference line for defining a vertical direction in the image and projecting a second test image including a horizontal reference line for defining a horizontal direction in the image; (b) measuring a three-dimensional shape of the projection plane; (c) (1A) performing correction processing, which is image conversion processing, on the first test image based on the three-dimensional shape data measured by the step (b) such that geometric image distortion is reduced as viewed from a first point, which is a point that passes through a projection center point, which is an intersection of a projection axis for projecting the image in the step (a) and the projection plane, the first point being on a normal line of the projection plane, (2A) determining a first rotation angle in accordance with the control signal and perform rotation processing, which is image conversion processing, on the first test image after the correction processing such that the image projected on the projection plane, which is obtained by projecting the first test image after the correction processing by the step (a), appears to be an image obtained by rotating the projected image by the first rotation angle around the projection center point as viewed from the first point to the projection plane, (1B) performing correction processing, which is image conversion processing, on the second test image based on the three-dimensional shape data measured by the step (b) such that geometric image distortion is reduced as viewed from a first point, which is a point that passes through a projection center point, which is an intersection of a projection axis for projecting the image in the step (a) and the projection plane, the first point being on a normal line of the projection plane, (2B) determining a second rotation angle in accordance with the control signal and perform rotation processing, which is image conversion processing, on the second test image after the correction processing such that the image projected on the projection plane, which is obtained by projecting the second test image after the correction processing by the step (a), appears to be an image obtained by rotating the projected image by the second rotation angle around the projection center point as viewed from the first point to the projection plane, and (3) identifying, based on a first straight line that is a straight line including the vertical reference line, on the projection plane, that is in the first test image after the first rotation processing and a second straight line that is a straight line including the horizontal reference line, on the projection plane, that is in the second test image after the first rotation processing, a viewpoint candidate point from which the first straight line appears to be orthogonal to the second straight line, and performing viewpoint identification processing that converts an image to be projected on the projection plane such that geometric distortion of the image is reduced as viewed from the identified viewpoint candidate point."
That's one sentence. FFS, Nintendo.
Either way, look at the little fellow on the screen. I don't know who he is, or what game he's in, but I want to see more of his whimsical woodland wandering!
However, what makes this image interesting is the banana. Nintendo chose to demonstrate this clever technology by suggesting it could be used to create the world's simplest jigsaw puzzle. Or maybe they're planning a game called Donkey Kong's Banana Rub, or something.
"My, what bulging risks you have, Geoffrey...!"
"All the better to make gestures with."
There would be some sort of camera on the base which would read the user's hand movements, and... I dunno... do stuff. Additionally, a tablet-like device could be placed atop the base, making it a personal assistant display system, with motion controls. In short; a cross between Amiibo, Alexa, and a Switch.
Because, frankly, who doesn't want to wake up with the words "YOU'RE DEPRESSED" emblazoned on their bedroom ceiling?
Alternatively, maybe Nintendo wants to bring back its Robotic Operated Buddy, but this time untether it from the console, and have it roaming around your home, searching through your cupboards and drawers (knickers).
Once again, the most interesting thing about this patent is the sketches included with it, such as the one above which appears to show a gentleman attempting to appease an angry Muppet by performing some sort of chorus line-style dance routine.
I dunno about you, but I wouldn't have felt particularly confident performing my "ollies" and "mongos" with a Wiimote shoved into the wheels of my board.
"Approve this patent, or the bear gets it..."
Nintendo filed the patent in Japan in 1997, but didn't get around to doing the same in the USA until a year or so later. It was later made public on August 23rd 2001, around three weeks before the attacks on the World Trade Centre.
We can't be sure that Nintendo directly inspired the 9/11 attacks, but... well... the image above, included in the patent application, speaks for itself.
I admit to finding him a little creepy. The way he's squatting on his inflatable cushion, he 's reminds me of a 1960s Star Trek villain.