Experts attest that there are as many as 25,000 germs per square inch on your console controller - that's worse than a toilet. Here are just some of the bacterium you will probably find on your joypad...
A cut or a graze on your fingers could cause Staphylococcus Aureus to enter your body, and could lead to toxic shock syndrome, boils, an abscess, or pneumonia, potentially leading to infections of the parotid gland, eyes, liver, spleen, kidneys, and central nervous system.
When you hear of a "staph infection" - this is what they're talking about. If you hear you've got an "infection in your staff"... that's something else. That's a dirty thing.
"Ohhh, Colifor-orms! Coliforms from poo!"
This little rotter can lead to urinary tract infections and meningitis. In fact, one strain of E.Coli is so virulent that it has been classified as a bioterrorism agent - as it is capable of producing the Shiga Toxin, which causes the premature destruction of the red blood cells, which then clog the kidneys, causing hemolytic-uremic syndrome.
This in turn can cause a stroke due to blood clots lodged in the brain. This then results in the body parts controlled by this region of the brain not to work properly. In addition, this strain causes the buildup of fluid (since the kidneys do not work), leading to edema around the lungs and legs and arms.
Or something.
It also doubles as a handy insult.
"Why do you always have to be such a clostridium difficile?"
It doesn't usually cause illness in healthy people, but is described as an "opportunistic" organism, meaning it can become a serious infection when our normal bodily defences are weakened.
Which doesn't sound too bad. But if you do happen to be sufficiently run down for Pseudomonas Aeruginosa to take hold, it can cause something called Necrotising enterocolitis, which has the potential to cause the contents of the intestine to leak into your abdomen.
A. Baumannii? More like D. Trumpii.