Back in the Blockbuster days I'd rent any old rubbish if it had an alien or a robot on the cover. Now I won't look at anything that has less than 85% on Rotten Tomatoes. Sad.
True story: the Blockbuster I used to go to was the one that often featured in the BBC2 sketch show Goodness Gracious Me.
But anyway. The video age brought us other nostalgic treats: Simon Bates telling us about "sexual swear words", terrifying anti-piracy messages, the man who used to drive down our road in his little van filled with pirated video nasties who I once saw delivering bread to a corner shop during the day thus dispelling all of his mystique... and the brief, glorious, reign of the interactive VCR board game.
Here are ten examples of the latter.
Yes: a bit like the news in 2017, but with a ticking clock counting down to disaster.
So... probably a lot like the news in 2017. That's good satire, kids...
What you might not know is that Atmosfear was created in Australia, where it was known as Nightmare (it was retitled in the UK to avoid any copyright infringement with the nerds' favourite TV show, Knightmare). New versions were still being released as recently as 2006 - albeit on the high-tech DVD format.
The game was such a phenomenon that even a tie-in song and music video were released - a sort of low-budget version of Thriller - and an official spooky "dance party" was held at Australia's Wonderland - hosted by "guest DJ" The Gatekeeper - to celebrate the game's success.
"It was the best party I've ever been to," wept one excited guest.
Players assumed the role of "Force-sensitive" infiltrators aboard the second Death Star, and would get to hear such classic Vader quotes as: "Hmm. I feel that there are those among you who have already taken their first step towards the Dark Side of the Force. Yes, it is indicated by the first letter of your first name. Those of you whose first names begin with one of the letters of 'Dark Side', increase your Dark Side power by one."
Shot on the set of the slightly boring TV series, the game at least felt authentic, even if Kavok did err on the side of camp. Klingons had bad hair, yeah?
The tape contained four games, all of which had titles of varying suggestiveness: "Who's Been Eating My House?", "Lord Licorice's Surprise", "Lonely Old King Kandy" and "Don't Say Fluffypuffer"...
Depressingly, the final episode of the series features the heroic sacrifice of one of the lead characters, an event inspired by real-life tragedy.
Said Straczynski at the time: "I've known several people, friends, who've taken their own lives. In one case, I spoke to her just beforehand. Tried, through the phone lines, to reach her one more time, pull her back from the edge. I couldn't. Years pass. Time comes for me to write the last filmed episode of Power."
It remains undocumented whether the special effects in Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future were created on an Amiga, or whether players could turn their weapons on themselves to recreate their favourite character's demise.
With two hours of video content, the game represented better value than most of the games on this list, even if - like most of the games on this list - it's unlikely anybody played it more than once.
You know: like the two sensitive types on the box. What do you reckon that pig-boy is doing now? Probably a bank manager.
"You'd like what?! A loan for your chute-manufacturing business?!?"
<FALLS OFF CHAIR, CURLS INTO A BALL IN THE CORNER OF OFFICE, STARTS TREMBLING UNCONTROLLABLY>
"The chutes... the chutes...."
Well... it doesn't get much more wacky than that!!!!!!!?