Many of us shall descend upon the seaside in the months ahead, those resorts that dot our coastline like benign tumours - a warning to any foreign invader that there is nothing here worth invading for.
Here we present a gallery of such resorts, with a specific focus on the faded glory of their arcades... WARNING: This might be the most depressing article you ever read.
These two appear to have taken the bait, reeled in by the soft toys, unaware that they are stumbling into a trap...
Behold the Noo-Noo, forlornly scouring the seafront for discarded fag ends and dropped coins.
"TAKE ME AWAY FROM THIS," cry the yellow bears, a deafening chorus of hoarse rasps, spat out between the sobs.
This is the closest you shall ever get to seeing a real horse; to you a creature so exotic it may as well be a myth.
"Put your hands up and nobody will get hurt..."
Please. Do not make promises you cannot keep. Loopy is already hurting. Your bullets would provide divine release.