And that's just as well, given that the publishing industry is now almost completely geared towards celebrity kiss-and-tells, TV tie-ins, and selling the movie rights to teen franchise books set in dystopian futures.
Plenty of self-published works are great - and to find out, why not become one of our Patreon donors, to get yourself a copy of our own Man's Daddy Joke Book? - but some of them... well... they're beyond parody.
These covers, and the accompanying blurb, are 100% genuine: even the one that mentions "flexible yeomen".
"And Evil incarnate follows them, including a giant leaf monster full of evil from past human sacrifice."
"The setting is the Florida Gulf Coast with the clone lab financed and run by a scientist too full of himself to care that he has become a criminal but smart enough to move on to another experiment — a story within the story which begs for a sequel— miniature humans who are brought up without any cultural or religious input."
"Fate drops Khit, the bicultural Thai/Scottish hero, into the Highlands of Scotland when he inherits a title and Highland castle. An evil cousin from his new life and corrupt Muay Thai boxing promoter from his old one plot to eliminate Khit and his family."
A VICTIM faces her worst fear.
AND A DOG seeks the missing - and finds hope."
"When Pluto is officially demoted from a true planet to a dwarf planet; when the poor moon is infested with clowns; when Betelgeux falls in love with other red giants; when the Milky Way wants to make friends... that's the time they most need our sympathy and support."
PART TWO: EVEN MORE ASTONISHING SELF-PUBLISHED BOOKS
32 BIZARRE AFRICAN MOVIE POSTERS
11 TERRIFYING FORTUNE TELLER MACHINES
6 BIZARRE JAPANESE ARCADE GAMES