Case in point: cosplay. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes there's just a little too much flesh on show by people who have too little shame. With that in mind, here are ten distressing and ill-considered Pokemon cosplayers who never got the memo. You know: the memo which read "Don't do that".
What works when drawn doesn't necessarily work when rendered in real life. There's a reason why the movie X-Men wear black leather rather than the yellow and blue spandex of their comic book counterparts... and that reason is the reason we just mentioned: they'd look, at best, ridiculous. At worst, they'd simultaneously be stupid and terrifying. Case in point: cosplay. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes there's just a little too much flesh on show by people who have too little shame. With that in mind, here are ten distressing and ill-considered Pokemon cosplayers who never got the memo. You know: the memo which read "Don't do that". 10. MR MIME Mimes are creepy at the best of times. Remove their nose, give them the mumps, and dress them like an ill-considered children's party entertainer, and you have this: the very last thing you'd want to find shuddering and twitching in your bath. 9. DUG TRIO What's sexier than a semi-naked, well-muscled trio of gentlemen? Why, making them wear masks that look like a cross between a red-billed duck and a particularly solid and angry stool. 8. PIKACHU It's a little known fact that this child's haunting, vacant expression is the very last thing we see before we die. 7. PIKACHU Imagine seeing this thing slithering up the side of your house, and disappearing out of view, over the roof... You'd never go home again. 6. PIKACHU This shrieking, cagoule-wearing horror has often been described by sailors, clambering about in their rigging, or chewing on hardtack biscuits in the engine room. 5. WEEPINBELL This slack-mouthed aberration looks as much like a 1960s Doctor Who monster as it does something you'd rather prefer not to find in your bush. 4. BELLSPROUT That skin-tight leotard leaves little to the imagination, though given the absence of any identifiable genitalia, we're assuming his name is ironic. Bellsprout? More like Bell-Lack. 3. MISSINGNO Missingno is in fact the unwanted by-product of a glitch in Pokemon Red and Blue - and has taken on something of an unofficial status as an actual Pokemon. Here it is rendered somewhat sinister, by appearing to be nothing less than a camouflaged hide for a sort of urban peeping tom. 2. BLASTOISE This might be the single saddest image we've ever seen. Expect to return to this bathroom at a later point, to find Blastoise swinging from a light fitting by his neck. 1. JYNX We've covered Jynx before on Digitiser2000 - and recounted the story of how they had to quietly change her skin colour to purple, following accusations that she was nothing less than a dated racist caricature. What we'd never noticed before is just how alarming Jynx actually is, even if you can overlook the xenophobic overtones. That gaping, permanently-opened maw, the zoned-out gaze, the heaving bosom... she's like the discomforting offspring of a lamprey and a Bavarian opera singer.
5 Comments
Simon
21/7/2015 08:24:37 am
I honestly can't work out which one of these is the worst but at a stretch I would pick Damien at number 8
Reply
neil
21/7/2015 09:14:45 am
Not even sure he's the worst Pikachu. Number 6 in the forensic overalls is particularly terrible.
Reply
Adam
21/7/2015 10:56:25 am
To be fair to Blastoise, he's certainly put the hours into that.
Reply
John
22/7/2015 04:22:39 am
It's not the effort that'll lead to death. It's the realisation of its futility.
Reply
Alec
23/7/2015 02:31:21 am
Let us not forget the soul-chilling porn-Pikachu (Link is Safe For Work):
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