You must've seen That Picture by now. The one of Mark Zuckerberg at the Samsung Galaxy S7 launch, striding triumphantly through a sea of mostly white men wearing virtual reality headsets.
Many have drawn comparisons to the world of The Matrix, signifying that we are living in nothing less than The End of Times. They say that this photograph marks the point at which our connection with the real world evaporates forever. Not only is it crushingly awful that we spend our lives staring at screens, they say... now Zuckerberg and his ilk want us to stare at screens which block out all peripheral vision, and buy our souls into the bargain.
But what is really going on in this photograph, and what can it tell us about the terrible new VR world which awaits? We broke it down so that you didn't have to.
Many have drawn comparisons to the world of The Matrix, signifying that we are living in nothing less than The End of Times. They say that this photograph marks the point at which our connection with the real world evaporates forever. Not only is it crushingly awful that we spend our lives staring at screens, they say... now Zuckerberg and his ilk want us to stare at screens which block out all peripheral vision, and buy our souls into the bargain.
But what is really going on in this photograph, and what can it tell us about the terrible new VR world which awaits? We broke it down so that you didn't have to.
THE GRUMPIEST MAN
This fellow is already something of a cult figure online, due to his near-perfect grumpy face. But what could possibly be making him sour so conclusively? Let us go in for a closer look...
TIJUANA ADRIAN
Yes. Now we see. To his left there - that's Tijuana Adrian, the virtual world's foremost virtual narcotics dealer - and he's offering to sell The Grumpy Man... a virtual drug.
NO PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY
"I say, did you just tap me on the shoulder?"
"Nah, mate - I was looking up there at that virtual cloud innit."
Get used to it, everyone: for this is just the way of the virtual world, a complete breakdown of social norms and personal responsibility.
"Nah, mate - I was looking up there at that virtual cloud innit."
Get used to it, everyone: for this is just the way of the virtual world, a complete breakdown of social norms and personal responsibility.
HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE...
What's he so terrified of that he has to grip the edge of his seat? Expecting an exciting unicorn adventure in tropical glade, this poor soul entered the virtual world to find himself facing his greatest fear: a global ban on rollneck sweaters.
NO WAY? YES WAY...
The experience of Oculus VR has turned this gentleman into the character of Garth out of Wayne's World. It will take years of therapy to reverse the condition. NOT!!!!
LONG NECK
He may be attempting to hide its lengthiness with a fashionable scarf, but this man's neck is growing uncontrollably - a direct consequence of his personal VR experience, in which he portrays a slender-necked wading bird, or "bittern". As he has learned to his peril: once bittern, twice shy.
DIVERSITY
There may be no women or black people in the Galaxy S7 audience, but it's not all bad. If you look hard enough you can see an actual bald. Ironically, in his personal virtual world, the bald is a hirsute female Japanese nightclub singer called DéCoupage.
TOTAL CONFUSION
This section of the audience is looking around in confusion while screaming their own names, so lost is their sense of identity.
GOOD ZUCK, KID!
The turgid nipples say it all. This is a man who has so much in his vice-like grip that it's turning him on, in a preternatural, psychosexual way. He's king of the white men, walking among his subjects unseen yet all-powerful... Look upon your Emperor, white man, for he is your future. Look now... look into...
...HIS DEAD MANIC EYES...
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