YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKEY!

Who is Little Palmer Luckey? He's the "luckey-est" boy on earth, for he is the owner of his very own virtual reality company - Oculus VR...!

Just 12 years-old, Palmer is about to change the world with his  £499 virtual reality headset, which was made available for pre-orders only last week.

​But what is it like to be a pre-pubescent zillionaire? Well, for starters, it lets your wander around barefoot, whether it's in your offices, or an important conference, and not have anybody tell you to stop putting your dirty feet on everything.

But what if you were the baby-face of virtual reality? What would you get up to? Digitiser2000 has a few suggestions.

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YOU COULD STAND IN YOUR WORKSHOP, SHRIEKING AND SNORTING WORDLESSLY FOR NINE HOURS.

APROPOS NOTHING, YOU COULD SING 'MAMMY' IN A QUESTIONABLE ACCENT, AND NOBODY WOULD TELL YOU IT WAS WRONG.

YOU COULD HOG ALL THE HEADSETS, WHILE HYPERVENTILATING HORRIBLY.

THROW ALL YOUR OLD UNWANTED GREEN THINGS INTO THE CROWD.

DEMONSTRATE YOUR NEW GAME 'STEVIE WONDER'S VR CASTANETS'... WHILE BEING FILMED BY STEVEN SPIELBERG AND FRIENDS.

TELL EVERYONE HOW ONE DAY YOU'RE GOING TO GROW A BIG CUCUMBER OUT OF YOUR EYES.

YOU COULD ENGAGE IN DIRTY PLAY WHENEVER YOU WANTED.

YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO ROCK OUT, WHILE COMPREHENSIVELY NAKED FROM THE WAIST DOWN.

YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO STIMULATE THE PRODUCTION OF MILK AS A METAPHOR FOR THE BURGEONING VIRTUAL REALITY MARKET.

TURN UP TO WORK DRESSED AS TINA TURNER, AND THREATEN TO FIRE ANYONE WHO SAYS ANYTHING.

YOU COULD DO THIS FOR AGES WHENEVER ANYONE ASKS YOU A DIFFICULT QUESTION ABOUT THE PRICE OF OCULUS RIFT.

YOU COULD STRAP A LOAD OF SHIT TO YOURSELF AND TELL EVERYONE IT'S AN EXO-SKELETON.

IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONFERENCE SPEECH, YOU'D BE ABLE TO MIME THAT YOU'RE TRAPPED IN STEVE JOBS' GLASS BUMHOLE.

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