I always feel a spasm of guilt whenever there's one of these articles on Digi. I mean, the artists responsible were, presumably, working to the best of their limited ability.
Still, when that ability was stuck at the remedial - nay, primordial - level, I find it fascinating that they were ever allowed anywhere near the packaging of a commercial product, even if it was self-published. Did these people not know they were bad? How is anyone that utterly, profoundly, unaware?!
So here, because it's important that this warning from history is never forgotten, here are even more of the worst home computer game covers of all time...
All images sourced/stolen from the Centre For Computing History.
Still, when that ability was stuck at the remedial - nay, primordial - level, I find it fascinating that they were ever allowed anywhere near the packaging of a commercial product, even if it was self-published. Did these people not know they were bad? How is anyone that utterly, profoundly, unaware?!
So here, because it's important that this warning from history is never forgotten, here are even more of the worst home computer game covers of all time...
All images sourced/stolen from the Centre For Computing History.
ULTRAPEDE
It's not that the technical craft is bad here - whoever was responsible clearly had a fair degree of a handle on that airbrush they got for Christmas. It's more that the image could be anything, frankly.
After some close inspection, I presume the yellow thing is meant to be a spaceship of some sort, but making the ship the same colour as its yellow vapour trail, and everything in the background a similar hue of green, renders it ultimately a meaningless mess.
Upon first glance, I thought it was a pair of neon yellow y-fronts. You know: like you might find a willy in!!!!
After some close inspection, I presume the yellow thing is meant to be a spaceship of some sort, but making the ship the same colour as its yellow vapour trail, and everything in the background a similar hue of green, renders it ultimately a meaningless mess.
Upon first glance, I thought it was a pair of neon yellow y-fronts. You know: like you might find a willy in!!!!
GOOD LUCK
You've hired a 12 year-old to do your cover art? Good luck with that! Also, the guy on the right is basically the Imperious Leader from Battlestar Galactica....
MONSTERS
Albeit rendered with a certain degree of skill, there's no escaping that the giant, green, alien beetle/crab thing has a some serious junk in its trunk, and it's the only thing your eyes are drawn to. The only thing missing is a thong and a tramp stamp.
LARKSPUR WALDORF IS TRAPPED!
You spend weeks, maybe even months, creating your first game. You're so proud of your achievement, and you want to share it with the world. You want a slice of that sweet home computer game market. This is gonna make you a fortune!
Then you do this.
And even have the temerity to sign it...
Then you do this.
And even have the temerity to sign it...
TV SPECIAL
The epitome of late-80s graphic design and typesetting, the cover to this three-game collection of TV gameshow favourites features Bob Holness, a particularly Mephistophelean Paul Daniels, and a dabbing raver who's just dropped a couple of disco biscuits, and is trying to leapfrog a 1950s television.
"Mate, what you on?"
"I'm on The Krypton Factor!"
"Mate, what you on?"
"I'm on The Krypton Factor!"
CHATEAU
"Hi, we, er, we booked the Chateau on Air BnB. Are you Hernando, the owner?"
"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuulll!"
"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuulll!"
DON'T PANIC
"Our game is called Don't Panic. Can you come up with some artwork which successfully conveys the urgent subtext of that phrase, and alludes similarly to the work of Douglas Adams?"
"Sure. How about, I dunno, a wizard looking at a castle? Plus we could make the title really small, which would be cool."
"I love it!"
"Sure. How about, I dunno, a wizard looking at a castle? Plus we could make the title really small, which would be cool."
"I love it!"
DRAGON TREK
Aside from the fact that the not-at-all-William Shatner-in-Star-Trek-The-Motion-Picture is doing a sort of sexy cha-cha dance, those meteorites resemble fart clouds. Thus, perhaps they are simply arseteroids.
Do you see?
Do you see?
BACKGAMMON
Er... let's be generous and suggest this is meant to be an ASCII interpretation of a pile of backgammon chips which have been dropped on the floor.
GOLF AT GLENEAGLES
Sorry... that should be "Golf At Gleneegles". If you're enough of a golf fan to bother making a golf game, presumably you're familiar enough to know the correct spelling of one of the most famous courses in the world?
See also the sequel, Golf At St. Undroos.
See also the sequel, Golf At St. Undroos.
MR T'S NUMNBER GAMES
Mr T - presumably not that one - released a bunch of edutainment titles, and they all featured this same cover image, of a mother leaning over her children while, presumably, cupping some water in her hands.
"Solve the number games, children. Only then may you lap at my nectar."
"Solve the number games, children. Only then may you lap at my nectar."
SHOOT THE RAPIDS
Look at this self-satisfied donger. He's never set foot in a dinghy - or should that be donghy?!? - in his life. He hasn't even fastened the helmet safety strap. I hope he falls out of his non-existent boat and smashes his non-existent brains in.
I bet he told all his mates at uni that he got a job as a male model.
I bet he told all his mates at uni that he got a job as a male model.
WHAT'S THE TIME?
Why did so many 1980s children look like that boy on the right? Children of the Corn, Poltergeist, Close Encounters - they all featured some angelic, snub-nosed, blonde kid.
"They're heeeeeere."
"Who is?"
"The tiiiimes."
"Wut?"
"They're heeeeeere."
"Who is?"
"The tiiiimes."
"Wut?"
THE VERY THE VERY FIRST VERY FIRST
The Very First was a Commodore 64 demo tape, the cover for which was, we can assume, typeset while the graphic artist was in the middle of a massive stroke.
RSS Feed
