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WILL THESE PICTURES OF STEVEN SPIELBERG AND VIDEO GAMES MAKE YOU LIKE HIM MORE... OR LESS?

5/9/2016

4 Comments

 
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Hollywood royalty doesn't get any more lauded than Steven Spielberg. Therefore, it's refreshing to know that the director of E.T., Jurassic Park and Schindler's List is also an avid gamer - like you and me! Why, even his name literally translates as "Ice-cool player".

Stevo has also been involved in the creation of several games, from the point and click adventure Dig, to Boom Blox, Medal of Honor, and Steven Spielberg's The Director's Chair.

The question is: does his love of video games make you like him more, or convince you that it is nothing more than an insincere affectation, designed to make him look more ordinary, like that ruddy hat he wears? Here's a gallery of photos, which should give you pause for thought.
Here's a young Steven in his office, with his very own Missile Command arcade machine. Clearly, he really loves his games - he's just like us! How very down-to-earth and normal. You can imagine him kicking back with its trackball after a hard day on set.

Unfortunately, he's not like us is he? Even back then he was a multi-millionaire, splashing out thousands of dollars on his own arcade game cabinets.

​"Oooh, look at me! Look how much money I've got!"

He might as well have just installed an ATM in his office, which pumped out a constant stream of money, which he then rubbed himself with.
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Here's Steven again, playing Space Invaders while cosplaying as Indiana Jones, or something. Alright, so Indiana Jones is one of his own characters, but we all love a bit of cosplay don't we? He's so unstarry...

But let's look a little closer: he's not really playing is he? He's posing. Certainly, the way he's crossing his legs in that slightly fey manner suggests he's never played a video game in his life. Nobody stands like that at an arcade machine.
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Here we have modern Steven playing with the PlayStation Move. Alright, so the Move was a terrible idea, which never really caught on, but Steven still appears to be having a great time. He's so cuddly and loveable, and full of joy...

So long as you can ignore the fact he's basically acting as a corporate shill for Sony's godawful technology.
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Spielberg used to have a messy office, with a Donkey Kong machine in it. See how he sprawls on his chair: he's a game-playing bum, like the rest of us!

But hold: what's that on the wall? A Close Encounters poster? And there down the side of his chair... a Jaws poster, and there on the table - a stack of E.T. posters. Three of his most successful movies. What a rampant egomaniac.

​And what's more, that Donkey Kong machine has its change stomach padlocked. There's no risk of Spielberg spreading his wealth around.
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Here's Steven playing on the Wii with no less a figure than Nintendo's Shigeru Miyamto. What gamer wouldn't want to be in that position?

Except, none of us do ever get such an opportunity. Why? Because we're not unfathomably famous and wealthy, like Spielberg is. What a privileged tit, wearing his baseball cap indoors, like he's one of us, flaunting his famous mates.
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This picture seems to suggest that old Steven loves his first-person shooters as much as the next man. He's got the headphones on so that he gets the full experience.

Let's pretend we've not seen that $1,000 jacket. It's not even that nice a jacket. Christ, even the baseball cap probably cost the best part of a grand, while the rest of us are forced to buy our clothes from Primark, or make them out of binbags.
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We don't know what game Steven is playing here, but he seems to be loving it. The man is a child at heart.

Or maybe he's just smiling to himself about that stupid hat he's wearing. Nobody needs to wear a hat like that, and the only people who can get away with it are the chronically wealthy and successful, who - frankly - should have no need to draw attention to themselves, like he's obviously trying to do here.
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Steven has lost the baseball cap for this one, which shows us that he doesn't have to hide behind overthought affectations while he scrolls through Wii menu screens.

But look at his companion, The Brown Man. He's clearly nervous at being in the presence of filmmaking royalty. Imagine you were him, and how small Spielberg would make you feel. How much of a failure. You've done nothing with your life, and Steven Spielberg serves to remind you of it.
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Hm. He's got a welcoming face hasn't he? But just consider the exchange which preceded this image:

"Steven, would you sit in front of our game and pretend you're playing it, even though it's only displaying an options screen, so that we can sell more copies?"

"Yeah, alright. By the way - do you like how I colour-coordinated my clothes today?"


What a ludicrous billionaire he is.
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4 Comments
Steve 'Ste' Spielbourg
5/9/2016 05:39:09 pm

I BET I COULD DRINK YOU UNDER THE TABLE

Reply
Mr Biffo
5/9/2016 08:44:55 pm

Hahahaha.

Reply
neil
5/9/2016 08:49:52 pm

Surely its your mate Noel Edmunds playing Space Invaders.

Reply
Chris Wyatt
5/9/2016 09:12:18 pm

Another interesting fact the old SpeelyMcBergMeister. His name is German for "Gamer Mountain".

Reply



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