DIGITISER
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ

WHICH ONE OF THESE GAMERGATERS HAS A SECRET STASH OF FRENCH CREPES?

10/3/2016

12 Comments

 
Picture
Gamergate - it's the fun new craze that's been sweeping the world! Even Gamergaters have to eat, and top of their list of dinners are French crepes! 

But wait - one of the Gamergaters has hidden his crepes in a special secret place, and doesn't want anyone to find them.

Using your powers of deduction, can you work out which of these Gamergaters is the crepe-concealer? Answer at the bottom of the page!

RANDY BELLOWES, 24
Picture
Randy Bellowes is from the cowboy town of Pueblo, Colorado, and has been a Gamergater for 12 months. He lists his interests as "al fresco dining, ethnolinguistic studies, and the arts". The thing we must know the answer to however is this thing: Randyman, are you the Gamergater who has secretly concealed some French crepes?
CHARHELEMIT CROOL, 28
Picture
Charhelemit Crool, from Chatham County, Georgia, is the thinking woman's Gamergater. He's a smidgen over six feet tall, and sports the decaying husk of a vestigial twin on his left shoulder blade. But Charhelemit... we know that one of the Gamergaters has a secret stash of French crepes - and we need to know if it's you. Will you come clean with us, Charhelemit?
SEXXUS SEXHENRY, 35
Picture
Sexxus Sexhenry is the Gamergater with the knack! He's uncle to almost four nephews and nieces, enjoys geocaching, and eating tangerines without peeling them. As to whether he has a covert craving for French crepes, which has led him to conceal a secret stash of them somewhere... well... that we don't yet know.
"BIONICLE", 28
Picture
Italian-American Gamergater "Bionicle" recently bought his first shower curtain, but has yet to unwrap it. Could this be a clue as to whether he's the Gamergater who has hidden some French crepes for currently unrevealed purposes? Say, won't you give us a clue, "Bionicle"?
NESBIT NORTH, 37
Picture
Nesbit North is from Salem County, where he lives in a bush, and spies on ramblers while chattering like a cat. He seems an unlikely Gamergater, given that he doesn't own a computer and has never played a video game, or even heard of Gamergate. If he thinks that'll stop him being on our list of possible French crepe-concealing Gamergater suspects - he's got another think coming!
PRINCETON HAM, 29
Picture
Princeton Ham is the only Gamergater in our lineup who has written his own theme tune: "Princeton Ham, Princeton Ham, He's not a real ham, He's a man! Yessssssss!" (copyright P. Ham 2013). He sings his song while dancing around the parking lot of his local strip mall, and has thrice been arrested due to his provocative gyrations and loud voice. Would a man like Princeton Ham have any interest in concealing a stash of French crepes? Soon we shall find out...
LAMPREY SUCTION, 30
Picture
Lamprey Suction, from Delaware, has been Gamergating since the very beginning, and likens being a part of the movement to having friends. He admits to really liking French crepes... but claims has has no need to have a hidden stash of them, as he is very generous. He insists he has more than enough to share. Could Lamprey be bluffing? It's time for you to decide!
PRESS REVEAL TO FIND OUT WHICH GAMERGATER HAS A SECRET STASH OF FRENCH CREPES:
Picture
Picture
Did you guess that it was Sexxus - Sexxus Sexhenry - who has a secret stash of French crepes? He hid them in his gazebo. He'll probably just have them later.
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
​WE ASKED THESE TOP GAME DESIGNERS IF THEY'D EVER EATEN THEIR OWN POO AND NOT A SINGLE ONE REPLIED
THE TOP 10 BATMAN GAMES
10 VIDEO GAME QUOTES WRONGLY ATTRIBUTED TO INSPIRATIONAL PEOPLE

12 Comments
Superbeast 37
10/3/2016 01:21:52 pm

Bionicle looks more like an SJW woman than a GG'er to me!

So I ruled her out immediately as being a trick entry!

Reply
Mr Biffo
10/3/2016 01:33:06 pm

Superbeast... no.

Reply
Spiney O'Sullivan
10/3/2016 06:36:43 pm

Secondary pancake stash located.

But that does raise an interesting point. This article is also to an extent predicated on making fun of "the other side" partly via the medium of jokes about their looks, hence why SB evidently felt that comment worked here.

It is unfair of SB to invoke some of the stereotypes about "SJWs", but we're also sort of throwing these unfortunate randoms under the bus to get some lols about another stereotype. I mean, not to be patronising, but even factoring in whether we're "punching down", and some of their actively horrific choices, I'm guessing life has not been fully kind to some of these people, regardless of their privilege status (except Sexxus, who is likely reading this from the golden throne of his pleasure palace's orgytorium).

Basically, comedy is hard and even mentioning Gamergate ever is a bad idea. Also Sexxus rules and I'm a hypocrite.

Superbeast 37
10/3/2016 09:51:02 pm

@Spiney

Completely fair to invoke the SJW stereotype given that all the pictures are of white males who look like they live with their mother, no doubt due to suffering from psychological conditions such as aspergers etc!

"Sauce for the goose" as the old saying goes! We is either doing comedy stereotypes or we is not! Otherwise we'd just shout "ableist" and run to our safe spaces in tears.

Plus, be fair - Bionicle does look like many a Tumblr profile picture I've seen. Be warned though, if you mock them they won't be as easy going about it as Lamprey and co, instead they will call your employer and the local police and accuse you of being a member of the Khmer Rouge.

Bionicle infiltrated the list (with Biffo's covert assistance) and planted the crepes on Sexxus. Classic false flag attack and that is King of Pol Verified so you know it is true!

I also read on 5chan that Mr Biffo was on the gamerjournopros mailing list under the pseudonym "Mr Creepy" and was offering to "scare" any gamers who dare asked its members about those photos with the naked women, white powder and the Ubisoft marketing manager.

"9 reasons why The Division deserves 11/10" will be tomorrows update!

Old Red
10/3/2016 01:33:42 pm

Glad you're addressing more serious issues again.

Reply
Nesbit North
10/3/2016 09:41:52 pm

My camel's toe is showing in that picture, how embarrassing! Nesbit North

Reply
Dirty Barry
11/3/2016 02:54:53 am

Gamergate is like a foul magic potion that causes bad feelings, arguments and long posts. Even I can't help but sip at this vile potion.

Even pics of odd looking people can't mask the rancid taste. And I love me some pics of odd looking people.

Reply
David W
11/3/2016 04:21:27 am

Gamercrêpe.

Reply
PeskyFletch
11/3/2016 10:33:51 am

You just can't help yourself Biffo, can you?

Reply
Mr Biffo
11/3/2016 11:18:54 am

I know. I'm literally my own worst enemy.

Reply
Clive Peppard
11/3/2016 03:04:31 pm

The rage that ensues from such posts is a soothing balm to my ennuis on a friday afternoon where lunch was of the pub variety.

If any of this genuinely bothers you: put down your internet device and go outside, its a lovely sunny day and the pubs are open.

Im going home to play The Division and not worry about any of this.

Retrothumbs
11/3/2016 11:55:06 pm

Does Sexxus have Phoning Honey carved onto his front?

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    This section will not be visible in live published website. Below are your current settings:


    Current Number Of Columns are = 2

    Expand Posts Area =

    Gap/Space Between Posts = 12px

    Blog Post Style = card

    Use of custom card colors instead of default colors = 1

    Blog Post Card Background Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Shadow Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Border Color = current color

    Publish the website and visit your blog page to see the results

    Picture
    Support Me on Ko-fi
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    RSS Feed Widget
    Picture

    Picture
    Tweets by @mrbiffo
    Picture
    Follow us on The Facebook

    Picture

    Archives

    December 2022
    May 2022
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    November 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014


    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ