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WHICH CONSOLE HAD THE BEST JOYPAD? - Part One

5/5/2016

38 Comments

 
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What is a games console without a controller? It's just a thing with some stuff in it.

Joypads, joysticks, gamepads, wagglepabbles, fingerjohnnies... whatever you call them, the controllers are perhaps the most important element of any games machine. They're our interface. They're the forks to our mouths. Without them we'd all be sucking our food off the floor. 

"Don't you already do that, Mr Biffo?"

"Schllurrrrrp! Mmmf-ff... what did you say? Schlep-schlurrp."


And this is why I've decided to do something unthinkable: I'm going to choose which controller won each generation, and it'll be definitive, and you won't be able to argue with me.

Suffice to say, this rundown won't feature third-party devices, or second-generation redesigns. There'll be no Power Gloves or Sega Activators, or Mega Drive 2 pad. And I've left some out, for a super-special secret reason, so no Vertex (I would've just said the pad was rubbish anyway). This is going to the source; which of the biggest sellers got it right straight out of the gate, and which of them choked to death on a hare?

ATARI 2600 vs INTELLIVISION vs COLECOVISION
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Even at the time, I remember thinking that the Atari 2600 joystick was terrible. It was like trying to control a game with a scimitar that had been shoved in an anvil. Stiff, unresponsive... the 2600's paddle controller was better, but you couldn't exactly play Combat with it.

However, it's not like we knew any better. Particularly if you'd never been into an arcade. It remains baffling why this early generation of game controllers didn't try harder to emulate arcade joysticks. 

Certainly, the Intellivision and ColecoVision didn't even bother trying. The former had a horrible golden thumb disc - for decades, I thought it was some sort of way-ahead-of-its-time touch-sensitive pad, until I finally got my disappointed fingers on one last year.

The ColecoVision had the good sense to at least raise its stick/disc thing above the surface of the controller. It was so loose, however, as to be borderline unusable. Of course, both devices had numerical keypads, in apparent attempt to convince parents that the systems could double up as some sort of educational device. Ha ha. Parents were so stupid back then. What do you mean they still are?

"Mum, can you buy me Grand Theft Auto 5?"

"It says it's an 18. You're only twelve."

"That's not the age rating - that's how many hours I won't bother you for."

"Sold!"


For no reason other than its competitors got it so wrong - and its design is so simple and iconic - there can be only one winner of this generation.

WINNER: Atari VCS.
NES vs MASTER SYSTEM
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Looking at these two pads side-by-side, it's clear how much Sega borrowed from Nintendo. What a bunch of dirty filth-pigs they were.

In its favour, early models of the Master System came with a little joystick nub, which screwed into the centre of its d-pad. It was actually slightly better than that makes it sound, and was my default control method for most of my time with the Master System. 

The famous Nintendo D-Pad could play havoc on the thumbs after extended plays, but at least it was responsive. The Master System wasn't far off, but somehow lacked the precision tooling of the NES pad. Neither were particularly comfortable to hold, of course, being sharp-cornered, two-dimensional, oblongs. 

This is a close one to call, but ultimately it's going to come down to aesthetics. The Master System controller is ugly. The NES pad is iconic.

WINNER: NES.
MEGA DRIVE vs SUPER NES
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Now we're getting somewhere.

The Mega Drive/Genesis kidneypad was leagues ahead of anything that had come before it. For the most part, it sat comfortably in the hand, though it did have a tendency to get slippy if you sweated, or had a medical condition that caused you to excrete ghee from your palms. 

It possibly speaks volumes that Sega eventually released a remodelled Mega Drive pad with all sorts of extra buttons and switches, and a more comfortable silhouette.

Of course, that was merely a response to the Super NES pad - which got it right first time around. The two shoulder buttons were a revelation. What's more, it's too often overlooked that the layout of the A/B/X/Y buttons effectively formed a second d-pad. Like too many Nintendo hardware innovations, this was woefully under-utilised - but a couple of games (Q*Bert 3 for one) made use of it, requiring the player to hold the pad longways.

Admittedly, there was something slick about the design of the Mega Drive pad, and the rainbow hues of the Famicom/European SNES joypad were far prettier than the dull purple that Nintendo adopted in the US. Still. You know where this is going.

WINNER: Super NES.
NINTENDO 64 vs PLAYSTATION vs SATURN vs JAGUAR
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Nintendo and Sony sycophants aren't going to like this, but I was never a fan of either the Nintendo 64 joypad or the original PlayStation controller design.

The N64's trident may have been pioneering, but it was an unwieldy beast, which only Nintendo ever seemed to properly get to grips with. Commendably designed to be future-proof - and created with 3D gaming in mind - it was nevertheless a mess of buttons, triggers and grips. That, however, isn't what killed it for me - the analogue stick was foul and springy, like Slinky with a turd in it. Goldeneye may be a classic, but play it today and you'll wonder how we ever coped.

The PlayStation pad was just flat-out uncomfortable to hold. It never seemed to quite sit in the hands and be forgotten the way a good joypad should. It's anyone's guess why Sony stuck with it so stubbornly before its PS4 redesign.

"It was iconic."

"Oh really? Well, do you know what else was iconic? The Swastika. BOOM."


Of course, I've had to lob the Jaguar pad in here, just so that we can all point and laugh at it. Ha ha ha! Come on, everyone! Point and laugh at that grotesque dunce! Throw some stones at it! Ha ha!

And that just leaves Sega's Saturn controller. It consolidated the lessons learned from both Mega Drive joypads, the buttons and d-pad all had just the right amount of resistance, there was a subtle surface grip on the housing. Best of all, it became invisible once you were playing.

Admittedly, Sega did release a redesigned Saturn joypad - the ugly 3D Controller - but they got it sufficiently right first time round to say that they win this round. 

WINNER: Sega Saturn.

TO BE CONTINUED...
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
WHAT WAS THE BEST CONSOLE LAUNCH LINE-UP OF ALL TIME? - PART ONE
WHAT WAS THE BEST CONSOLE LAUNCH LINE-UP OF ALL TIME? - PART TWO​​

10 TERRIBLE GAME CONTROLLERS
38 Comments
Da5e
5/5/2016 11:06:01 am

Sega Saturn pad is the best pad EVER. That d-pad. Mmm.

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AcidBeard
6/5/2016 03:44:24 am

The Saturn d-pad is indeed the d-pad daddy. The 3D pad was also pretty much perfect as well, it's essentially the xbox360 pad before the xbox360 pad. Didn't it also have analogue triggers?

The N64 pad is a decent runner up and I never understand how people get confused with it.

The playstation pad is and always will be stinking arse rot.

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ScottC
5/5/2016 11:17:41 am

Blasphemy; the N64 pioneered analogue controls, the trigger button and rumble feedback (admittedly via an add-on). Can you imaging playing Mario 64 or Banjo Kazooie without analogue controls?

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Mr Biffo
5/5/2016 11:21:48 am

Pfffft. I was waiting for you lot to show up. Just because it was the first didn't make it the best!

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DD
5/5/2016 12:20:05 pm

First you diss Mario 64, now you diss Nintendo's bench mark controller.

You hate Nintendo.

bit.bat
5/5/2016 12:49:59 pm

I can see why some people remember the N64 more fondly. Its so much more fun, full of new ideas. The Saturn one is so boring in comparison but its does make more sense.

But the article is not called Which Controller Do You Remember More Fondly so I do agree with you.

Bo
5/5/2016 12:27:35 pm

Yeah, as much as I loved my N64, Biffo does kind of have a point. The analogue stick on the pad is terrible compared to modern versions, whereas a good dpad from that era still holds together.

Also it has a whole extra prong that was basically useless! They should have just gone all out and replaced the dpad with the stick on the left.

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Wicked Eric
5/5/2016 12:20:44 pm

That's not the original saturn controller...

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Mr Biffo
5/5/2016 12:22:44 pm

Now it is.

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Wicked Eric
5/5/2016 12:28:28 pm

Oh man!!

combat_honey
5/5/2016 12:36:56 pm

I remember being impressed with the Jaguar controller when I used it. (My brother's friend had one... and no, I'm not making that up to hide the shame of having owned one myself!) I thought the central keypad / overlay system whereby you put a different overlay on it depending on what game you were playing was a brilliant idea. Then again, I was only about 10 and probably would have been just as impressed with an elastic band attached to a paperclip.

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Mrtankthreat
5/5/2016 01:17:24 pm

I'm still impressed by an elastic band attached to a paper clip. Observe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGkvyN6s9cY It's actually better then the Jaguar controller.

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Jareth Smith
5/5/2016 12:47:18 pm

The N64 controller for me, although there seems to be a bizarre consideration of it online. I used to frequent the Gaming forum on Google+ (until I realised most of its members are imbeciles), and they kept voting it as one of the worst ever!

It seems some people failed to realise you held the middle prong with your left hand, not your left hand on the left prong leaving you to stretch your thumb out to the analogue. I knew several people at high school who did that. Duuuuuhhhhh.

Anyway, yeah the N64 one for me. It was just so perfect.

On a different note, I can't stand the PlayStation controller. Sony's bizarre policy (little change in 20+ years) confounds me, but there you go.

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Rakladtor III The Terrible
5/5/2016 05:36:45 pm

While I agree with Biffos choices here, I like to defend the N64 controller simply because it's become so trendy to bash. I guess when folk are trying to fit into whichever gaming clique, they mindlessly adopt 'safe' opinions that they know a good number of their peers will agree with. From there everything gets exaggerated in the groupthink.

The 64 controller was always going to be an easy target, simply for standing out. It has some flaws but in no way deserves to be considered among the very worst controllers.

Further damaging it's perception is how the stick gets scratchy over time. But a well maintained/brand new one still provides an ergonomic experience. And it's true that many cannot work out how to hold it correctly, this came to my attention recently when watching a rookie MK64 tourny.

I think some of the design quirks can be attributed to Nintendo trying to gradually break people in to the analogue. The design of the controller really separated the analogue stick from the D-Pad, as if to emphasise to the player "DIFFERENT, see?".

I still think it was a good design choice for the time, it's easy to forget how tricky the move from digital to analogue was for the first few days. When I first tried Mario64, it was like learning to walk all over again. Nintendo were the first to do pack in analogue, meaning they had to make the nuances (of analogue vs digital) obvious to the consumer.

My biggest criticism is that the d-pad is stiff and muddy feeling.

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Clive Peppard
5/5/2016 12:50:25 pm

My favourite controller of all time is the Kraken XT1200

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combat_honey
5/5/2016 12:54:15 pm

Me too. The dual-reversible sedgewick movement controls and inverted 'slurry pad' were a revelation.

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Clive Peppard
5/5/2016 05:14:29 pm

Ah the movement! The dual-reversible sedgewick was the betamax of its day, too advanced for the public, too pricey to manufacture and it wouldnt support the porn industry.

DAMN YOU VHS

Euphemia
5/5/2016 01:42:27 pm

No Kempston joystick? Why you hate Spectrums so bad?

Even if using one now is like trying to have a wank in a spacesuit, it was a revelation at the time.

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Kelvin Green link
5/5/2016 06:18:21 pm

I know that we will never agree on this Biffster because of your inexplicable hatred of it, but for me the Dual Shock is the best joypad, in particular the 1/2/3 version, although I am warming to its fourth incarnation. Before the PlayStation came along I would have said the SNES pad was the best, but that's no surprise as it is the Shock's grandparent.

(Which is why I find it weird that you love the SNES pad but hate the PS1, er, one, as it's more or less the same thing.)

I do admit that it has a silly name, though. I've never liked that aspect.

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Dirty Barry
5/5/2016 08:29:44 pm

The PS1 controller was rubbish for doing hadokens and dragon punches, and therefore was guff.

Both incarnations of Saturn pad were excellent for doing hadokens etc. Saturn for the win.

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Rakladtor III The Terrible
6/5/2016 03:46:47 pm

I know what you're getting at with the button layout but the dual shock and the snes pad are completely different in shape.

With the snes controller I can adjust the poise of my left hand and thumb to suit the demands of a game, which requires that the controller be flat. This matters for anything requiring quick d-pad combinations, vs fighters etc. Hence the snes and saturn pads shine in this respect.

With the Dual Shock, there's less poise due to the hands being guided by handles, which applies to most stock controllers past the 32bit era.

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Spiney O'Sullivan
5/5/2016 06:20:06 pm

I love the Saturn, but the original Saturn controller had corners and edges in an era when everything else had smooth rounded curves. It was a mess, though the redesign for the European market was quite nice.

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Dirty Barry
5/5/2016 08:24:29 pm

Yeah, Saturn controller all the way. In fact I'd go as far as to argue that second saturn controller they came up with is the best controller of all time, closely followed by the Snes and 360 controllers.

The N64 controller was excellent for about 6 games, and a liability for all the others. No 2D Capcom fighters for n64 as a result. Booo.

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Gs69
5/5/2016 06:58:08 pm

The Atari 2600 controller was excellent if you used it on the c64 for summer games and winter games if you turned it upside down and held the base world records aplenty.
The snes pad was great but the shoulder buttons used to snap and go squishy.
Saturn controllers had a really satisfying click on the shoulder buttons,I always thought the ps1 pad was quite comfy to hold but a little small and the d pad was not good for stuff like street fighter.

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Col. Asdasd
5/5/2016 07:32:43 pm

The left prong was completely redundant - people don't have three hands - but with the left hand shifted to the middle the n64 controller was comfy and usable. Sadly the analogue sticks tend to get a bit squeaky over time, but mine saw a lot of use and still play fine today.

I never minded the dual shock either. I think a really big factor on how much anyone gets on with a given controller is their hand size. Maybe this is an over-generalisation, but people with bigger hands, your half-giants and what have you, tend to prefer Xbox controllers, while members of the highly illegal and government-suppressed koboldine race such as myself get on better with a snugger form factor. And indeed, snugger forms generally. I have my p60s embroidered on quilt.

I'm not sure why controller symmetry is such a must for so many people. Some games simply aren't playable on that kind of set up - there are entire genres that only work with a keyboard and mouse.

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lilock3
5/5/2016 07:51:49 pm

You know; Biffo’s revealed his controversial thoughts here, and now, so will I. I don’t like the SNES pad. I don’t really like *any* pad with a four-button diamond layout for that matter.

Nintendo themselves never seemed to know how the SNES pad should be used. Which were the primary buttons: A and B, or Y and B? Mario All-Stars was so confused that it even had to offer two different options (defaulting to option 2, huh!?). Although B always feel like the main button (as per the default B-Y scheme), I find that I need the “run” button to be lower than the “jump” button to be able to pull off running jumps effectively, so A-B is always my choice. And Nintendo are still at it now! Wii U and 3DS games never seems to know how to use the buttons. One of the 3DS Mario games (New Super Mario Bros 2 or Super Mario 3D Land) gives you the All-Stars-like option to swap, whilst the other doesn’t. Really frustrating when you’ve got used to the alternate way of doing things…

Not to mention there is so little movement in the SNES pad buttons and d-pad that you never know if you’re pressing them or not. I usually end up pressing so hard that my thumbs ache at the end of a SNESing session.

Then Sony had to go and make the button layout even worse for the PSX by replacing the slightly meaningful letters with random symbols. Ask me where the Diamond, Heart, Club and Spade (that’s right huh?) go on a PS controller and to this day I wouldn’t have a clue.

So MS sensibly go back to the SNES letters, and then swap them around. Arrrrgh!

A two-button layout always works great for me. I love the NES & SMS controllers. They may not be as ergonomic as today’s designs, but did anyone ever really find them uncomfortable? I thought that was the opinion of millennials from “Teens React” videos who had never held an 8-bit controller before in their life. “OMG!!! This is like totes naff! This was when like plastic was super new and they hadn’t invented curves yet.” It's just confusion in the face of something unfamiliar. I think I had a similar reactions when a friend first showed me a picture of the PSX controller back in the 90s, “Crikey. That looks painful! What are those weird prongs for?”

The 6-buttoned N64 pad was fantastic for me because it had the sensible 2-button layout, and then shoved the awkward 4-button diamond above that, where it was only needed occasionally. Also, labelling those four C-buttons as another d-pad somehow helped to alleviate my usual confusion over the 4-button layouts. The fact that they were also often actually used as a second d-pad (for moving the camera about) helped too – basically the precursor to the right stick on modern controllers. Also, the N64 had the best d-pad ever. Don’t believe me? Play Tetris on it. And the trick to maintaining that analogue stick? Regularly open it up and smear the little plastic cogs and gears with copious amounts of Vaseline. I've been doing that since the 90s and all my N64 controllers (that I’ve owned since new) are still as good as the day they were made.

The only controller that’s ever got a four-button layout right for me is my beloved GameCube pad. A home/primary button surrounded by secondary satellite button. Perfection. Oh why did you have to abandon it and return to the diamond Nintendo? Anyway, rubbish d-pad, but the best stick placement ever, the best face buttons ever, the best shoulder buttons ever, and the best shape to hold ever.

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Bruce Flagpole
6/5/2016 12:15:06 pm

Yeah...gamecube better win the next round Mr B, or I'll be popping round with my pitchfork.

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lilock3
6/5/2016 05:17:55 pm

GCN's gotta be in with a good chance. Mr B doesn't like the PS pad and virtually no-one likes the Xbox pad (the "Duke", surely he'll discount the Controller S because it wasn't the original design). So that just leaves the Dreamcast and the GameCube...

heeden
8/5/2016 07:29:37 am

Awesome controller, definitely my fave for the generation, but the d-pad was absolutely terrible.

Tom
5/5/2016 08:21:36 pm

Biffo. You've fucked up here. The image of the Jaguar pad you used is of a Pro Controller, a slimmer and more ergonomic re-issue of the original controller that added extra face buttons and included shoulder buttons missing from the original. Cheers me dear!

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Mr Biffo
5/5/2016 08:34:42 pm

I blame Atari.

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ChorltonWheelie
5/5/2016 10:09:29 pm

"Mrs Wheelie, can you buy me Grand Theft Auto 5?"

"It says it's an 18. You're only twelve."

"That's not the age rating - that's how many hours I won't bother you for."

"Sold!"

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Plange
5/5/2016 11:37:22 pm

Konix Speedking. THE END.

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Michael
6/5/2016 10:33:23 am

The PlayStation controller is a slightly more ergonomic version of the SNES one with 2 extra should buttons. The Saturn one is a more chunky version of the Mega Drive one. Therefore the PS controller beats the Saturn one hands down (I am not sure if that is a pun or not).

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Dirty Barry
6/5/2016 01:15:33 pm

6 face buttons were more useful than additional shoulder buttons though. Low, medium and high punch/kick.

Sony used coloured shapes rather than letters on their buttons because their products are for illiterate folks/trendies.

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Rakladtor III The Terrible
6/5/2016 03:58:06 pm

With the snes or saturn controller I can adjust the poise of my left hand and thumb to suit the demands of a game, which requires that the controller be flat. This matters for anything requiring quick d-pad combinations, vs fighters etc.

Hence the snes and saturn pads shine in this respect. With the PS1 controller, there's less freedom of poise due to the handles.

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Hardon Bork
7/5/2016 09:29:02 am

I don't know if it's just unoriginality or a remnant of the PlayStation's original incarnation but like the Master System/NES before it, it's quite the most blatant theft of the SNES pad layout. Yet, these comments are literally the first time I've encountered anyone actually acknowledging this fact. It's got a SELECT button, for crying out loud. I can only think of one reason for it to have a SELECT button and that's "the SNES had one".

Regarding the N64 controller (and be aware I'm not for a second suggesting that this was the case for you), I've been stunned on a number of occasions by people, people who were gamers during that generation mind you, and played N64, who criticise the controller and it turns out that they have always held the thing incorrectly, left hand over on the leftmost prong by the D-pad and stretching over to the stick (presumably hitting the Z button with, like, their middle or ring finger). Silly bunts.

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Ebtks
30/5/2016 02:36:11 pm

Really enjoyed this! When is part two arriving out of interest?

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