Today's the day that billions of Destiny fans get their hands on The Taken King - a massive expansion that promises to rewrite the rules of the much-loved online shooter, and open the game up to those who were originally put off by its relentless grind, dull storyline, and repetitive nonsense.
Here's Digi2000's ultimate and exhaustive guide to all the changes you can expect.
Here's Digi2000's ultimate and exhaustive guide to all the changes you can expect.
- Peter Dinklage's voice replaced by a sassy, beatboxing, Chris Rock
- Three new capes!
- Storyline now up to 14% less boring!
- Hilarious new character: Snapsnarpp the Frank Parrot.
- New character class: Space Copper's Nark.
- New weapon: The Panzergusset (a gran's tights on a pole).
- New theme song by Jane McDonald: "Venus Rhymes With Genius".
- Four new capes!!!!
- New weapon: a broken bell on a string.
- Five new capes!!!!!!!
- New character class: Space Michael Ball.
- Cool new enemy: a frightening space jellyfish with an elephant's trunk, or something.
- Peter Dinklage's voice replaced by a booming, desperately drunk, Brian Blessed.
- Twelve new capes!!!!!!!!!?
- Peter Dinklage's voice replaced by a hissing, lilting, Tom Hardy, who refuses to answer all questions about his sexuality.
- New theme song by the B-52s: "Grindin'".
- EIGHTEEN NEW CAPES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!
- Terrifying new enemy: a big space wolf with scary red space eyes and stuff!
- NINE HUNDRED NEW CAPES!!!!!?!??????!?!?!?!??
- New theme song by The Wiggles: "Destiny Is Fun 4 Me!"
- New character class: Space Cobbler.
- New weapon: Dyson Airblade Hand Dryer.
- Peter Dinklage's voice replaced by a sarcastic, slurring, Shaun Ryder.
- RANDOM CAPE GENERATION SYSTEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????!!!!!
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