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WHAT VIDEO GAMES WOULD THE ANIMALS PLAY IF THE ANIMALS COULD PLAY GAMES?

28/9/2015

2 Comments

 
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Everybody knows that Man is the smartest animal on the planet - that's why we have iPhones and Come Dine With Me.

Indeed, man is also the only species to have invented video games, as far as we know.

​But if our animal brothers and sisters did create video games... what sort of video games would they play? We asked a few members of the animal kingdom for their suggestions. The responses might surprise you.

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ERIC (dolphin)
"Well, I'm told there has already been one video game based upon dolphins - Ecco the Dolphin - but it might surprise you to hear that I've no interest in playing that. Being a dolphin, I find it almost impossible to be sad - we're always smiling, you see - so I'd love to play a very sad video game, to see what that's like."
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DR PUSS (octopus)
"Did you know that octopi have brains in their tentacles? That's why we're so clever and arrogant, and it means I've got one... two... eight or nine brains. Which means I'd like to play an 8-in-one game collection, which had all of its games running concurrently. I'm sure I'd be excellent at it."
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DOPPO (elephant)
"They say that elephants never forget, and it's true - I've got a tremendous memory, and I'm really good at holding grudges, and not letting things go. Therefore, I'd love to play a really complex memory game, where I have to recall things that happened earlier in the game. Though I'm sure one of the rest of the herd would probably try to steal it off me, like that time Jimbo tried to take that coconut off me eleven years ago. Find your own coconut."
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RORY (crow)
"Actually, I don't think I've got a huge interest in playing any game. As a crow, I'd find it quite hard to hold a joypad, though I suppose if there was a game which used a special joypad designed especially for crows, I might give that a go. Right now, though, I can't imagine what that might be." 
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WHILLIAM (whale)
"I'd love to play a really fast-paced action game, in which you had to collect krill. But please - not too many cut-scenes, as I'd only find myself skipping through them."
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PIG (pig)
"I'd like to play a sexy video game, which had loads of girl pigs in it, who all had big, wobbly, boobs, and were rolling around together in some mud. Though knowing my luck the feminazis would try to get it banned before it was ever released. Unbelievable."
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BORIS (bonobo)
"Hello, Could you arrange it 4 me to play a game where I see lots of other bonobos going about their business and being funny, plz? It doesn't even have to be a game. I'd just like to watch a video of that. Even better if the bonobos are wearing clothes and pretending they work in an office. That'd be wicked LULZ."
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JAMES (bee)
"I'd really like to play some sort of rhythm action game so that I can practice my waggle dance. Perhaps they could get Sting to do the music! Ha ha. Bzzzzz!"
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
MISSION: STEALTH with Solid Snake
10 PEOPLE WHO HAVE NEVER PLAYED DARK SOULS
​
ONE YEAR ON - GAMERGATE EXPLAINED
2 Comments
Elagabalus
28/9/2015 10:37:06 am

Well I was just about to enjoy a plate of chipolatas served with a monkey nut garnish, but now I seem to have lost my appetite...

Reply
Kelvin Green link
28/9/2015 09:21:04 pm

I like James the Bee. More from him please!

Reply



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