The name Mel Croucher will be familiar to anyone who grew up with home computers in the 1980s. He founded Automata UK - "the first games company in the UK" - off the back of a business which sold travel guides.
Automata went on to publish a series of idiosyncratic games for the ZX81 and ZX Spectrum, including Pimania, My Name Is Uncle Groucho You Win A Fat Cigar, and his multimedia opus, Deus Ex Machina. Unfortunately, tastes change, and as gaming became more corporate and risk-averse, so Croucher's particular blend of surreal whimsy fell out of fashion.
However, it is one particular Croucher production that we turn our attention to today; the rarely remembered anthology Can of Worms, a collection of mini games for the 1K ZX81, which saw the Sunday Times accuse Croucher of "peddling pornorgraphy to kids".
Croucher, to his credit, saw this as "great publicity".
Here's a rundown of all of the games featured on Can of Worms; a satirical halfway stop between puerile juvenilia and artistic genius, that in many ways is as relevant today as it was back in 1981.
Automata went on to publish a series of idiosyncratic games for the ZX81 and ZX Spectrum, including Pimania, My Name Is Uncle Groucho You Win A Fat Cigar, and his multimedia opus, Deus Ex Machina. Unfortunately, tastes change, and as gaming became more corporate and risk-averse, so Croucher's particular blend of surreal whimsy fell out of fashion.
However, it is one particular Croucher production that we turn our attention to today; the rarely remembered anthology Can of Worms, a collection of mini games for the 1K ZX81, which saw the Sunday Times accuse Croucher of "peddling pornorgraphy to kids".
Croucher, to his credit, saw this as "great publicity".
Here's a rundown of all of the games featured on Can of Worms; a satirical halfway stop between puerile juvenilia and artistic genius, that in many ways is as relevant today as it was back in 1981.
ACNE
As Professor Frankenstein, you've created life. Unfortunately, your monster is "a mess", and has developed a bad case of acne. You must pop the "pustulating pimples" as they break out upon your creation's forehead.
Given the graphical limitations of the ZX81, Acne demonstrates - as do all the games in the collection - how much could be conveyed through very limited means. Croucher would use ASCII characters alongside blocky pixels to visceral effect.
Given the graphical limitations of the ZX81, Acne demonstrates - as do all the games in the collection - how much could be conveyed through very limited means. Croucher would use ASCII characters alongside blocky pixels to visceral effect.
VASECTOMY
Possibly, but not definitively, the first in-game representation of male genitalia, Vasectomy requires you to sterilise said genitalia by ensuring that you line up the constantly snipping scissors, and time your incision so as not to lop off the patient's testicles or penis.
Essentially, it was Surgeon Simulator 30 years early.
Essentially, it was Surgeon Simulator 30 years early.
HITLER
Contrary to what you've been told, Adolf Hitler is alive and semi-well, and living in an old people's home in Cambridge. You must infiltrate the home, and attempt to give Hitler a heart attack by placing a whoopee cushion beneath him before he sits back down onto his wheelchair. 20 heart attacks, and Hitler "snuffs it".
SMUT
Less a game than a randomised poetry generator. Quite why it's called Smut is anyone's guess, but the instructions suggest that "The more immature amongst you" will want to reprogram it to "include the names of your chums and more smut".
DOLE
Probably the least interesting game in the set, despite its satirical edge, Dole places you in the role of Prime Minister, as you instigate spending cuts to halt the rise of inflation. However, the more cuts you make, the more your parliamentary majority slips away...
Croucher suggests that you simply do "what some politicians do anyway: and just sit back and watch the country going down the tubes into oblivion"...
Croucher suggests that you simply do "what some politicians do anyway: and just sit back and watch the country going down the tubes into oblivion"...
ROYAL FLUSH
Talking of things going down tubes, there's a blockage in Buckingham Palace's sewers! In Royal Flush you need to gauge how many gallons of water it will take to flush the royal stool out of the pipes.
Too little and "the blockage will be consolidated". Too much and "we have Brown Alert, all over the Privy Council"...
Again: look at the graphics. Crude by today's standards, but it's pretty impressive that Croucher somehow managed to depict even the defecating royal's emotions through his restricted means.
Too little and "the blockage will be consolidated". Too much and "we have Brown Alert, all over the Privy Council"...
Again: look at the graphics. Crude by today's standards, but it's pretty impressive that Croucher somehow managed to depict even the defecating royal's emotions through his restricted means.
REAGAN
Your goal in Reagan is to prevent World War 3 by ensuring that President Ronald Reagan's insecurity doesn't lead him to launch a nuclear attack. How? By keeping his vanity in check by not allowing any grey to show through in his famously dark hair, ensuring it remains covered with "Greasy 2000".
All of this is horrifically relevant to today's world.
All of this is horrifically relevant to today's world.
P'S AND Q'S
Similar to Royal Flush in both its scatological theme and its gameplay, you need to input a figure to ensure your urine stream has sufficient momentum to reach the urinal. In a rare moment of plaintive self-disgust, the instructions ask: "Is this what the ZX81 was really intended for?"
Find out for yourself: you can play Can of Worms here.
Find out for yourself: you can play Can of Worms here.
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