Hello, everyone. Clarkson here. I've not got much else on at the moment, so I was just about to sit back and read this week's Digitiser2000 while enjoying a nice cup of tea from my favourite bone China cup. Unfortunately, I've just noticed that the cup is damaged, and there is a chink in it. Do you see? There is a chink in my China. It's not racist.
Also, I was in a helicopter the other day - it was an Italian helicopter - and the blades made this noise: WOP WOP WOP. That's not racist either: that's just the noise it made.
And then I was in an Irish restaurant the other day, and my dinner wasn't hot enough, and so I punched the stupid paddy waiter in the face, following a protracted 30-minute diatribe about what a stupid potato-munching leprechaun he was, and how he should go back where he came from. I'm not a racist though. David Cameron said so.
Here's everything you might've missed on this week's Bank Holiday-reduced Top Ge - I mean, Digitiser2000. Eeeni-meeni mini mo... FALKLANDS WAR!
Also, I was in a helicopter the other day - it was an Italian helicopter - and the blades made this noise: WOP WOP WOP. That's not racist either: that's just the noise it made.
And then I was in an Irish restaurant the other day, and my dinner wasn't hot enough, and so I punched the stupid paddy waiter in the face, following a protracted 30-minute diatribe about what a stupid potato-munching leprechaun he was, and how he should go back where he came from. I'm not a racist though. David Cameron said so.
Here's everything you might've missed on this week's Bank Holiday-reduced Top Ge - I mean, Digitiser2000. Eeeni-meeni mini mo... FALKLANDS WAR!
- OUR CURRENT FAVOURITE GAME (IS FOUR YEARS OLD) - What is Z-Type?
- EXCITING GAME NEWS! With Comments by The Metaphorical Fox - Turn your phone into a Game Boy.
- EXCITING GAME NEWS! With Comments by Chip Shop Man - New Deux Ex unveiled.
- 6 BEST STAR WARS GAMES - Ha ha: no TIE Fighter or KOTOR.
- 6 WORST STAR WARS GAMES - Balance of the Awful Ones.
- 10 TERRIBLE GAME CONTROLLERS - The worst joypads etc. of all time.
- STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS - EXCLUSIVE SCRIPT EXTRACT! - A Digi2K World Exclusive!
- RING SIR! Online Support Pranks with Phoning Honey - Honey tries to speed up his broadband.
- LAST WEEK'S ROUND-UP - Everything from the week before.
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Much as we love doing it, this site is a lot of work alongside a regular job, but we're hugely grateful to everyone who has supported us thus far. We can't stress enough how much every little helps to keep the site alive - whether you choose to spread the word, offer your encouragement, or (best of all) become one of our beloved PayPal or Patreon donors.
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If you can't afford to support us with money, or give to the poor instead, we'll completely understand, and take your continued goodwill as an insulting form of gratitude. Thanks!
Yes, the world is full of needy people, who would benefit from your money or being told to be less needy - but are any of them providing you with more-or-less daily video games coverage, with a surreal and amusing "bent". We don't think so.
Much as we love doing it, this site is a lot of work alongside a regular job, but we're hugely grateful to everyone who has supported us thus far. We can't stress enough how much every little helps to keep the site alive - whether you choose to spread the word, offer your encouragement, or (best of all) become one of our beloved PayPal or Patreon donors.
Our legion of fragrant sponsors not only get the satisfaction of knowing they're helping to keep us going, but they also get special rewards (including The Man's Daddy's Book of Popular Comedy Jokes, and regular videos from TV's Mr Biffo), some of which you can find out about here. These rewards also include Digitiser-style portraits.
If you can't afford to support us with money, or give to the poor instead, we'll completely understand, and take your continued goodwill as an insulting form of gratitude. Thanks!
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