Also, I was in a helicopter the other day - it was an Italian helicopter - and the blades made this noise: WOP WOP WOP. That's not racist either: that's just the noise it made.
And then I was in an Irish restaurant the other day, and my dinner wasn't hot enough, and so I punched the stupid paddy waiter in the face, following a protracted 30-minute diatribe about what a stupid potato-munching leprechaun he was, and how he should go back where he came from. I'm not a racist though. David Cameron said so.
Here's everything you might've missed on this week's Bank Holiday-reduced Top Ge - I mean, Digitiser2000. Eeeni-meeni mini mo... FALKLANDS WAR!
- OUR CURRENT FAVOURITE GAME (IS FOUR YEARS OLD) - What is Z-Type?
- EXCITING GAME NEWS! With Comments by The Metaphorical Fox - Turn your phone into a Game Boy.
- EXCITING GAME NEWS! With Comments by Chip Shop Man - New Deux Ex unveiled.
- 6 BEST STAR WARS GAMES - Ha ha: no TIE Fighter or KOTOR.
- 6 WORST STAR WARS GAMES - Balance of the Awful Ones.
- 10 TERRIBLE GAME CONTROLLERS - The worst joypads etc. of all time.
- STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS - EXCLUSIVE SCRIPT EXTRACT! - A Digi2K World Exclusive!
- RING SIR! Online Support Pranks with Phoning Honey - Honey tries to speed up his broadband.
- LAST WEEK'S ROUND-UP - Everything from the week before.
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If you can't afford to support us with money, or give to the poor instead, we'll completely understand, and take your continued goodwill as an insulting form of gratitude. Thanks!