DIGITISER
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ

WE ASKED THESE TOP GAME DESIGNERS IF THEY'D EVER EATEN THEIR OWN POO AND NOT A SINGLE ONE REPLIED

9/3/2016

13 Comments

 
Picture
Oh dear. When we asked seven of the most famous game designers of all time whether they'd ever snacked down on their own faeces, not a single one of them bothered to reply. 

Or - perhaps - chose not to, for fear of public condemnation.

Got something to hide do you, fellers? Let's take a look at those who chose not to respond to our vital query.

JOHN ROMERO
Picture
"Dear Mr Romero,

You don't know us, but we're big admirers of all the games you've worked on. Doom. Doom 2. Quake. Heretic. Hexen. We didn't much like Daikatana, but who did?! Ha ha. We were just wondering whether you could clear something up for us: have you ever eaten your own poo, and if so... did you eat it with your bare hands, or with your face in a trough like a dirty animal? And did you get any of it in your hair?"

NO RESPONSE

SID MEIER
Picture
"Hi Sid,

You don't know us, but we love your Civilisation games. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Quick question: have you ever eaten your own poo (faeces)? Incidentally, we found your email address on a forum. Cheers."


NO RESPONSE
JOHN CARMACK
Picture
"Dear John,

As one of the co-founders of iD Software, we thank you for your kind contribution to the games industry, and all that you have done to move the medium of gaming forward. Great work! However, we would very much like to know - speaking as huge fans - whether you have ever crouched behind a bush and eaten one of your poos like it was a juicy sausage?"


NO RESPONSE
LORD BRITISH
Picture
"Dear Sir,

As the creator of the Ultima games, fictional ruler of the Kingdom of Britannia, and amateur astronaut, we're sure you are very busy, but we wondered if you could spare a moment in your schedule to answer a question for us. Here is the question: have you ever done a poo poo on a trowel and then eaten it? Many thanks in advance for taking the time to reply."


NO RESPONSE
WARREN SPECTOR
Picture
"Hi Warren (if that is your name),

You have a nice face, and don't look like the sort of person who would do something as deviant as consume your own waste matter. You're probably busy right now working on the next Deus Ex game, or something. But if you did get five minutes could you just fire us back a quick email with a YES or NO to this question: Have you ever eaten your own poo?"


NO RESPONSE
CLIFFY B
Picture
"Hello Clifford,

Your poo: is that something you might've eaten (even if by accident)?"

NO RESPONSE
JONATHAN "J-BLOW" BLOW
Picture
"Dear Mr Blow,

You're riding high right now, with the great reaction to your first-person puzzle game The Witness. May we take this opportunity to congratulate you on its success. Congratulations! While we have your attention, could you please clarify for all your fans and customers whether you've ever squeezed out a poo into the toilet, and then eaten it out of the bowl... and if so - what would have compelled you to do such a thing? Many thanks."


NO RESPONSE
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
FACE RECOGNITION SOFTWARE VS GAME CHARACTERS
IF VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS WERE SPOONS
TOP 20 VIRTUAL REALITY EXPERIENCES
​




13 Comments
dab88
9/3/2016 01:03:01 pm

It's disgusting..... how much I laughed at this :D

Reply
Adam
9/3/2016 01:25:51 pm

Once again, the huge gulf between designer and poo-eating consumer is starkly revealed by their failure to answer. Shameful.

Reply
Mrs Elementary Discharge
9/3/2016 01:57:10 pm

You should've asked old Peter Douglas Molyneux if he's ever scoffed his own poohs. He'd have boasted about about how many he's stuffed into his mendacious gob, and how astounding and ground breaking his next big poo will be. Mucky blighter.

Regards,
Elementary

Reply
Pippo
9/3/2016 09:39:47 pm

Given how Youtube has a video of him reviewing fart machines, he might actually have replied...

Reply
Spiney O'Sullivan
9/3/2016 09:40:51 pm

Credit to Molyneux, though, he was an excellent hype-man. People would have believed those boasts right up until they saw the disappointing results sitting on the plate. They'd still be reasonably impressed, but aware as it just wasn't what was promised.

Reply
Superbeast 37
9/3/2016 05:35:14 pm

Phil Fish looks like he ate poo, drank wee and is thirsty for more.

He ain't a top game designer though so it doesn't count.

When I was about 10 at school, this kid was talking to me and breathed on me and his breath smelt of poo. I've always wondered about that.

He runs a pub and is an Elvis impersonator now I kid you not.

Reply
Dr Kank
9/3/2016 06:45:24 pm

I think Jeff Minter might have smoked his own poo

Reply
ChorltonWheelie
9/3/2016 07:17:09 pm

Fudge.

Reply
Old Red
9/3/2016 07:25:23 pm

This could lead to the ultimate question...

A whole poo, a shot of poo and wee solution or a pint of wee. All your own...except for the wee, that's Donald Trumps wee.

Which eat/drink you?

Reply
Stay
9/3/2016 08:48:41 pm

From the silence of these developers I guess they wouldn't be very impressed if asked to listen to Richard Herring's Leicester Square theatre podcast...

Reply
Euphemia
10/3/2016 01:21:31 am

If you've done it right, you don't eat poo.

You drink it.

Reply
Dangleberries
23/3/2016 09:32:50 am

I'll consult the Bristol Stool Scale and get back you on that...

Reply
Klone
12/3/2016 03:08:28 pm

Every time I interact with CliffyB he calls me names. /sadfaced naked clown eating cold beans from a tin.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    This section will not be visible in live published website. Below are your current settings:


    Current Number Of Columns are = 2

    Expand Posts Area =

    Gap/Space Between Posts = 12px

    Blog Post Style = card

    Use of custom card colors instead of default colors = 1

    Blog Post Card Background Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Shadow Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Border Color = current color

    Publish the website and visit your blog page to see the results

    Picture
    Support Me on Ko-fi
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    RSS Feed Widget
    Picture

    Picture
    Tweets by @mrbiffo
    Picture
    Follow us on The Facebook

    Picture

    Archives

    December 2022
    May 2022
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    November 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014


    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ