It is May the 4th, better known as Star Wars Day, the entirely arbitrary day of the year where we all consider the Star Wars movies, because the date sounds a bit like the famous Star Wars slogan "May The 4th of May Be With You".
The Star Wars movies feature a cast of thousands, but it is to several of them that we have turned to ask the question: Did you ever smuggle a possum inside your costume?
Sadly, none of them replied.
The Star Wars movies feature a cast of thousands, but it is to several of them that we have turned to ask the question: Did you ever smuggle a possum inside your costume?
Sadly, none of them replied.
JEREMY BULLOCH - BOBA FETT
"Dear Mr Bulloch. Were you ever in a punk rock band called Jezza & The Bollocks? It feels like a missed opportunity if not. Nevertheless, you are perhaps best known as the man behind the helm of Boba Fett. Although you didn't do the voice, or any of the stunts. Or play him in Attack of the Clones, when the character was instead portrayed by a weird-looking child. 'Get him, dad!'
"Regardless, may we be the first to thank you for your enormous contribution to the worlds of Star Wars, and wondered whether you would be kind enough to answer a simple question for us. Mr Bollocks, did you ever put a possum inside your costume? Kind regards."
NO RESPONSE
"Regardless, may we be the first to thank you for your enormous contribution to the worlds of Star Wars, and wondered whether you would be kind enough to answer a simple question for us. Mr Bollocks, did you ever put a possum inside your costume? Kind regards."
NO RESPONSE
KENNY BAKER - R2-D2
"Dear Kenny. We were given your address by a mutual friend, so please do not ask how we found you. You may recall that you played the role of R2-D2 in many of the Star Wars films. Rocking from side-to-side slightly and moving the head around are just two of the emotions you were able to convey successfully from within the tin suit. Congratulations on your masterful achievement!
"However, we've been wondering something: you must surely have been inside that costume for hours at a time. We would imagine that lavatory visits were out of the question. Therefore, we simply must ask: at the end of a day's filming, did the technicians have to empty the costume of both your own waste, and the waste the possum which you had smuggled in there with you, possibly? Yours sincerely."
NO RESPONSE
"However, we've been wondering something: you must surely have been inside that costume for hours at a time. We would imagine that lavatory visits were out of the question. Therefore, we simply must ask: at the end of a day's filming, did the technicians have to empty the costume of both your own waste, and the waste the possum which you had smuggled in there with you, possibly? Yours sincerely."
NO RESPONSE
ALAN HARRIS - BOSSK
"Dear Bossk (if that is your real name). You were one of the bounty hunters sent to find the Millennium Falcon in The Empire Strikes Back. After the powerhouse scene where you stood and looked at Darth Vader, and glanced down at an Imperial officer, you were never seen again.
"What happened to you? Did your character get lost? Or were you reprimanded for smuggling a possum inside your costume, and banned from filming any further scenes, because it had tried to chew its way out? Please respond with full details."
NO RESPONSE
"What happened to you? Did your character get lost? Or were you reprimanded for smuggling a possum inside your costume, and banned from filming any further scenes, because it had tried to chew its way out? Please respond with full details."
NO RESPONSE
MIKE QUINN - NIEN NUNB
"Hi Mike. Can we call you Mike? Or would you prefer Mortimer? We'd like to thank you for fulfilling the role of Nien Nunb with such grace, in both Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens. Please, how do you pronounce Nien Nunb? Is it like 'Neon Numb' or more like 'Nine Nunby'? It probably doesn't matter.
"The only thing that matters is this: did you, Mike Quinn, ever put a possum inside your costume, and enjoy the feeling of it writhing around and trying to escape? Did you like how it felt against your skin? Did you do that? All the best."
NO RESPONSE
"The only thing that matters is this: did you, Mike Quinn, ever put a possum inside your costume, and enjoy the feeling of it writhing around and trying to escape? Did you like how it felt against your skin? Did you do that? All the best."
NO RESPONSE
RUSTY GOFFE - JAWA
"Dear Rusty. You played several roles in the Star Wars movies. A little drunk alien in the cantina. A Jawa. And a gonk droid. GONK! You are the proverbial Jack of All Trades, a character actor without compare. GONK!
"In any of those costumes was there extra room to conceal a possum, and if so was that something you ever did? A simple yes or no is all we require. Also, it would be great if you could send us any photographs you might have of yourself with the possum. We are particularly interested in any pictures which show you being overpowered by the possum. With great affection."
NO RESPONSE
"In any of those costumes was there extra room to conceal a possum, and if so was that something you ever did? A simple yes or no is all we require. Also, it would be great if you could send us any photographs you might have of yourself with the possum. We are particularly interested in any pictures which show you being overpowered by the possum. With great affection."
NO RESPONSE
CHRIS PARSONS - 4-LOM
"Dear Mr Parsons. Allow us to state that you were our favourite bounty hunter in The Empire Strikes Back. You radiated presence from within your metal costume. Your 0.5 seconds of screen time have resonated with us in the years since, and rarely an hour goes past where we don't wonder whether you had a possum in there with you, squeezed between your torso and your costume's chest plate.
"You might've been able to feel its breath against you. The coarse fur rubbing. Its claws scratching your body. Could you please clear this up for us? Many thanks."
NO RESPONSE
"You might've been able to feel its breath against you. The coarse fur rubbing. Its claws scratching your body. Could you please clear this up for us? Many thanks."
NO RESPONSE
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