
The Star Wars movies feature a cast of thousands, but it is to several of them that we have turned to ask the question: Did you ever smuggle a possum inside your costume?
Sadly, none of them replied.
"Regardless, may we be the first to thank you for your enormous contribution to the worlds of Star Wars, and wondered whether you would be kind enough to answer a simple question for us. Mr Bollocks, did you ever put a possum inside your costume? Kind regards."
NO RESPONSE
"However, we've been wondering something: you must surely have been inside that costume for hours at a time. We would imagine that lavatory visits were out of the question. Therefore, we simply must ask: at the end of a day's filming, did the technicians have to empty the costume of both your own waste, and the waste the possum which you had smuggled in there with you, possibly? Yours sincerely."
NO RESPONSE
"What happened to you? Did your character get lost? Or were you reprimanded for smuggling a possum inside your costume, and banned from filming any further scenes, because it had tried to chew its way out? Please respond with full details."
NO RESPONSE
"The only thing that matters is this: did you, Mike Quinn, ever put a possum inside your costume, and enjoy the feeling of it writhing around and trying to escape? Did you like how it felt against your skin? Did you do that? All the best."
NO RESPONSE
"In any of those costumes was there extra room to conceal a possum, and if so was that something you ever did? A simple yes or no is all we require. Also, it would be great if you could send us any photographs you might have of yourself with the possum. We are particularly interested in any pictures which show you being overpowered by the possum. With great affection."
NO RESPONSE
"You might've been able to feel its breath against you. The coarse fur rubbing. Its claws scratching your body. Could you please clear this up for us? Many thanks."
NO RESPONSE