
In an attempt to address this issue, we wrote to a number of games company bosses, suggesting they might like to change the company name to 'Fartzone'.
In an act of dismissive and spiteful rudeness, all but one of them ignored us.
"However, it's the name of your company - Ubisoft - that isn't so great, Yves. What does it mean? Is it a French word, Yves? Nobody knows. Very sloppy. Very bad. Would you perhaps consider changing the name of your company to something more universally recognisable - specifically, 'Fartzone'? Everyone would like that, Yves. Guaranteed. Yours sincerely."
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"Also, do you know what? We reckon you should change the name of Sony Computer Entertainment to 'Sony Fartzone'. Just do it. You could even incorporate it into your song.
"'And isn't it ironic... don't you think... It's like rain on your wedding day, It's like living in a bungalow when your name is Andrew House, It's like changing the name of your company to Fartzone when you didn't need to... I'm Andrew House, An-drew House, Tra-la-la-la-da-da-da-da-dah! AN-DREW HOUSE!'.
"Well, anyway, bye."
REPONSE: "Hi. I'm out of the office until March 21th, but will be picking up emails intermittently."
"Like, Street Fighter could become Street Fartzone. Even the characters could follow the model. Chun Li would become Chun Fartzone, and M.Bison would be Mmmm... Fartzone. Also, Resident Evil could become Resident Fartzone, and the zombies could be renamed 'The Fartz'. Think about it. Many thanks."
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"Do you know what else is a funny name, Strauss? Take-Two Interactive. Strauss, what does it mean? We worry that it might persuade potential customers to take-without-paying two copies of your games from games shops. Or it might suggest something else, that we've been unable to think of.
"Just to be on the safe side, maybe you should consider changing the name of your company to 'Fartzone'. Strauss, what could possibly go wrong? Just a thought. Thanks for reading."
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"We have a vision of you announcing the new name at a big press conference, where you smear your face over the surface of a kettle drum, while murmering and slapping your bare stomach. Who wouldn't want to see that? Regards."
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WE ASKED THESE 10 VIDEO GAME VOICE ACTORS IF THEY'D LIKE TO ACCOMPANY US TO A FIELD, WHERE WE COULD SPEND HOURS STRAINING TOGETHER UNTIL ONE OF US PRODUCED AN EGG - AND NOT A SINGLE ONE DID
YOU BE THE DETECTIVE: CAN YOU WORK OUT WHO MURDERED UBISOFT BOSS YVES GUILLEMOT?
WE ASKED THESE TOP GAME DESIGNERS IF THEY'D EVER EATEN THEIR OWN POO AND NOT A SINGLE ONE REPLIED