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WE ASKED THESE GAME DEVELOPERS IF THEY'D EVER BEEN VISITED BY THE GHOST OF BRAHMS - AND NOT A SINGLE ONE REPLIED

12/7/2016

6 Comments

 
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Johannes Brahms was a German composer and pianist, who died in Vienna of liver cancer, in 1897 at the age of 63. Sad.

What is not documented, however, is how many game developers have been visited by his ghost. We contacted a bunch of them to get some answers.
NOTCH
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"Dear Mr Notch,

You were the creator of Minecraft, the founder of Mojang Studios, and are perhaps better known these days as a controversial Twitter commentator. However, we can find no record or you claiming that you had been visited by the ghost of Brahms. Could you please confirm whether the German composer ever materialised in your bedroom while you were putting the finishing touches to Minecraft, or in the bathroom, while you were having a poo in the bath, or whatever it is that you do? Many thanks."


​NO RESPONSE
DINO DINI
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"Dear Dino,

Your famous Kick-Off series recently made a triumphant comeback with Kick Off Revival, but there is another comeback we want to ask you about: the return of Brahms, in the form of a spectral apparition.

​"Dino, have you ever seen the ghost of Brahms? Has he ever stood at your shoulder while you were composing a song, and given you a few pointers? Did he ever slither out from beneath your bed, and drag himself around the room on his stomach? Have you ever been on a romantic picnic, and seen the ghost of Brahms approaching you at walking pace, his finger outstretched, almost accusing you of some undisclosed crime? Please reply at the earliest possible convenience."


NO RESPONSE
JEFF MINTER
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"Hi Jeff.

Very quickly... could you tell us whether you have ever seen the ghost of Brahms? Don't worry: that isn't a euphemism or an insult. For some reason, it seems important to point that out to you."


NO RESPONSE
DONG NGUYEN
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"Dear Dong,

That's a funny name you have. Are you from overseas? In our country a 'dong' is a slang term for 'willy'. You might like to bear that in mind next time you visit. All we know about you is that you created the game Flappy Bird, and then disappeared for a bit. Consequently, we don't even know if you were ever visited by the ghost of Brahms. You seem like the sort of person he'd pop round to see from his home in Heaven. Did this or did this not happen?

"And if it did happen, in what language (if any) did you communicate with one another? Assuming, of course, that you communicated at all. For all we know, you might've just ignored him, while he stomped around, barking abuse at you in his native German."


​NO REPLY
PETER MOLYNEUX
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"Hello Peter,

You've been rather quiet of late. Are you busy working on your next game, or are you spending your time communing with a spirit from The Other Side? You know who we're talking about don't you? That's right - we're referring specifically to the ghost of Brahms. Have you been summoning him with a ouija board or anything? We'd really like to know. Come on, Peter. Be a sport, yeah?"


​NO RESPONSE
EUGENE EVANS
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"Hi Eugene,

No offence, but while we remember your name, we can't remember any of the games you were responsible for. Looking you up, we learn that you were one of the team responsible for Imagine's infamous Megagames, Psyclapse and Bandersnatch, and now you work for Bioware, or something. We hope you don't mind us asking, but is the Bioware HQ haunted?

​"More to the point... is it haunted with the ghosts of 19th Century composers? And if so, is Brahms one of them? Have you seen the phantom Brahms? Was he just shuffling around, or composing a new song? Or did he just lay there in the corridor, while your coworkers threw Oreos at him? Please respond."


NO RESPONSE
ARCHER MCCLEAN
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"Dear Archer,

Can we take this opportunity to tell you what big fans we were of your games IK+, Jimmy White's Whirlwind Snooker, and Dropzone? Now we must move on from the praise. Archer, please... you need to tell us if you have ever been visited by the ghost of Brahms.

​"Even if you're not sure, but think you might've been, it would be really cool to hear about it. Failing that, have you been visited by any other ghost? Chopin o
r Berlioz would be interesting to hear about. Sincerely yours forever."

​NO RESPONSE 
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
WE ASKED THESE TOP GAME DESIGNERS IF THEY'D EVER EATEN THEIR OWN POO AND NOT A SINGLE ONE REPLIED
FACE RECOGNITION SOFTWARE VS GAME CHARACTERS
IF VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS WERE SPOONS



6 Comments
Wadaload
12/7/2016 07:17:21 pm

Perhaps Notch was too busy listening to one of Brahms' "movements" to respond.

Reply
timmypoos
12/7/2016 09:58:45 pm

Do you actually contact these fellows? They may just be too busy to reply at the moment. Don't let it dishearten you x

Reply
Acid_Arrow
12/7/2016 11:14:01 pm

Next time try asking about the ghost of Liszt, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised!

Reply
Dr Kank
13/7/2016 12:45:14 am

Peter Molyneux will get back to you, it's just that he'll have to write his reply by hand, using a fancy calligraphy pen, and then ride to London on a jet black steed in the middle of a thunder storm to personally deliver it. So it might take some time, yeah?

Reply
Bruce Flagpole
13/7/2016 10:53:07 am

The ghostly composer that haunts my house usually intercepts and destroys my mail before i get to it. Perhaps the same thing is happening with this lot and that's why no reply?
In fact I'd take the lack of response as proof that some spectral-shenanigans are afoot...

Reply
Mr. +1
13/7/2016 11:14:20 am

In the past, whenever I've asked these developers about the ghost of Brahms they've all responded immediately. I guess I have 'the golden touch' when it comes to contacting journos about the ghost of Brahms.

Reply



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