WE ASKED BORIS JOHNSON WHAT HE THOUGHT ABOUT THE LATEST GAMING DRAMAS

It seems that rarely a day goes by when there's not some new drama in the games industry. Sometimes it seems like gamers simply enjoy arguing with one another, about the most trivial of matters.

If only there was somebody we could turn to when all seems lost, somebody who could have the final say on the important issues of the day. An oracle, a prophet, a moral arbiter...

Somebody, in fact, like Boris Johnson - London's self-styled "buffoon mayor", a man who hides his true face behind a harlequin's mask. 

We put to him several of the most important gaming issues of the day.

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BORIS, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE MOTION CONTROLS IN STAR FOX ZERO?

BORIS, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT STAR FOX ZERO'S INVINCIBILITY MODE?

BORIS, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE CONTROVERSIAL ANTI-HARASSMENT DATABASE KNOWN AS 'SOCIAL AUTOPSY'?

AND, BORIS, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE CLAIMS BY SOCIAL AUTOPSY FOUNDER CANDACE OWENS THAT SHE WAS HARASSED BY HER FELLOW ANTI-HARASSMENT CAMPAIGNERS ZOE QUINN AND RANDI LEE HARPER?

BORIS, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT CLAIMS THAT GAMING LAGS BEHIND OTHER TECH INDUSTRIES IN ITS TREATMENT OF WOMEN?

ALSO, BORIS, WHAT ARE YOUR OPINIONS ON REPORTS REGARDING E-SPORTS MATCH FIXING?

BORIS, PLEASE, CAN YOU AT LEAST COMMENT ON THE NEWS THAT SOME RETAILERS ARE SELLING UNCHARTED 4 WEEKS BEFORE ITS SCHEDULED STREET DATE?

BORIS, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING WHATSOEVER TO SAY ABOUT HIDEO KOJIMA?

BORIS, HAVE YOU GIVEN ANY THOUGHT TO THE NEWS THAT MIRROR'S EDGE: CATALYST HAS BEEN DELAYED UNTIL JUNE?

BORIS, WOULD YOU CARE TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MICROSOFT'S RECENT HIGH-PROFILE CLOSURE OF BRITISH DEVELOPMENT STUDIO LIONHEAD?

BORIS, PLEASE. JUST SAY SOMETHING.

...

ANYTHING? BORIS, PLEASE.

FROM THE ARCHIVE:
REVIEW-IN-PROGRESS: HAVE A LOOK AT THESE SHITTING BABIES WHILE I TELL YOU WHAT I THINK OF THE PS4 VERSION OF 'TOM CLANCY'S THE DIVISION' THUS FAR
REVIEW: THE BUG BUTCHER (PC/MAC)
PROUD PARENTS: IF GAMES CHARACTERS HAD BABIES