
Though there are some superficial similarities in appearance, you've probably noticed one big difference between me and Bill Gates - I'm upside-down!
Also, my real name isn't even Bill Gaits - it's William Shakepears. "Gaits" is simply a nickname I acquired due to my unusual hobby: I enjoy inventing new ways to walk! Currently, I'm working on a type of walk that makes me resemble a maniac: thrusting hips, combined with two steps backwards for every one step forward, while snapping my fingers at groin level.
I often wonder what leading games industry figures would come up with if they had to invent a new way to walk. So, I asked a few of them - and this is what they told me.
"My next business venture - a goat wholesale outfit called Billy Gates' Billy Goats - was even more of a failure, and I had to drown most of the stock. Fortunately, it was third time lucky! Please don't confuse me with Bill Gaits. I know a lot of folk say we look alike, but we're completely different people, and he slept with my wife. Upside down."