We'll say it now: Adolf Hitler was a horrible man. Literally, a real doucheball. Frankly, we're struggling to think of a single good thing to say about him.
One only has to watch Schindler's List or 'Allo 'Allo to know there's little doubt he got up to some completely awful stuff while he was the ruler of Germany between 1933 and 1945, or whenever it was.
However, as one of the most iconic and feared real-world villains of all time, it's little wonder that Hitler has cropped up in more than a few video games - usually as the bad guy.
Apropos absolutely nothing, here's our rundown of his most notable video game appearances.
One only has to watch Schindler's List or 'Allo 'Allo to know there's little doubt he got up to some completely awful stuff while he was the ruler of Germany between 1933 and 1945, or whenever it was.
However, as one of the most iconic and feared real-world villains of all time, it's little wonder that Hitler has cropped up in more than a few video games - usually as the bad guy.
Apropos absolutely nothing, here's our rundown of his most notable video game appearances.
5. BIONIC COMMANDO (1988)
Given how games have gone to great lengths over the years to censor the use of the Swastika, it's shocking to see the original Japanese version of this late-80s NES title - which is covered in more Nazi symbolism than a 1940s Berlin bierkeller.
Originally titled Hitler's Revival: Top Secret, the name - and Swastikas - were changed for its Western release, along with the game's cloned Hitler antagonist being inexplicably-renamed "Master D" (we could speculate as to why...). Furthermore, the Nazis themselves were re-dubbed "The Badds" (which, frankly, is only slightly more ludicrous than Nazi).
"What's that you say? You're a member of the Nasty Party?"
"Nein! Der Nazi Party! Nazi!"
"That's what I said - Nasty Party."
"Achtung! Gott im Himmel etc!"
However, despite all the changes, Master-D's appearance continued to be a spit of the real-world Nazi leader - as best demonstrated in the above image, of Master D's face exploding hilariously. 2008's Bionic Commando Rearmed featured a return appearance from Hitler/Master D - albeit a heavily scabbed-up version, whose famously stupid 'tache was hidden by a respirator mask.
Originally titled Hitler's Revival: Top Secret, the name - and Swastikas - were changed for its Western release, along with the game's cloned Hitler antagonist being inexplicably-renamed "Master D" (we could speculate as to why...). Furthermore, the Nazis themselves were re-dubbed "The Badds" (which, frankly, is only slightly more ludicrous than Nazi).
"What's that you say? You're a member of the Nasty Party?"
"Nein! Der Nazi Party! Nazi!"
"That's what I said - Nasty Party."
"Achtung! Gott im Himmel etc!"
However, despite all the changes, Master-D's appearance continued to be a spit of the real-world Nazi leader - as best demonstrated in the above image, of Master D's face exploding hilariously. 2008's Bionic Commando Rearmed featured a return appearance from Hitler/Master D - albeit a heavily scabbed-up version, whose famously stupid 'tache was hidden by a respirator mask.
4. GOLGO 13: TOP SECRET EPISODE (1988)
Another "Top Secret" NES title from 1988, Golgo 13 is a first-person maze game, featuring a final boss who appears to be a cyborg Hitler - despite being named "Smirk". Again, this was a holdover from the Japanese original, in which the game's antagonists - the DREK Empire - are clearly stated as being a resurrected Third Reich.
We're not entirely sure about the red suit Smirk is wearing - we're fairly sure pouncing around in bright scarlet would lesson one's authority at Nuremberg Rally only slightly less than balancing a bowl of fruit on your head, while wearing a plastic duck's beak and snapping your fingers open and closed like some mad crab.
We're not entirely sure about the red suit Smirk is wearing - we're fairly sure pouncing around in bright scarlet would lesson one's authority at Nuremberg Rally only slightly less than balancing a bowl of fruit on your head, while wearing a plastic duck's beak and snapping your fingers open and closed like some mad crab.
3. WOLFENSTEIN 3D (1992)
Unquestionably Hitler's most famous video game appearance, Wolfenstein 3D's Mecha-Hitler transformed the Nazi leader into a head-in-a-jar, and placed it atop a robot body with quad gatling guns for arms. Except...! In a twist, Hitler wasn't a disembodied head at all, and the robot body was revealed to be an exoskeleton. We wish there was a way to make it sound like we cared more about any of this...
Few recall that Wolfenstein 3D was not the first game in the series - and, indeed, Hitler had appeared in the earlier Beyond Castle Wolfenstein, as the target of the player's assassination attempt.
He also crops up briefly in the little-remembered 2008 mobile title Wolfenstein RPG, where a portrait reveals that this alternate Hitler has his stupid little moustache on his chin - making him look like some sort of weird, soul-patch emo.
This is ironic, given that the only thing conceivably worse than a Nazi... is a Nazi who is also emo.
He also crops up briefly in the little-remembered 2008 mobile title Wolfenstein RPG, where a portrait reveals that this alternate Hitler has his stupid little moustache on his chin - making him look like some sort of weird, soul-patch emo.
This is ironic, given that the only thing conceivably worse than a Nazi... is a Nazi who is also emo.
2. PERSONA 2: INNOCENT SIN (1999)
Taking its cue from Hitler's alleged obsession with the occult, this PlayStation (and, later, PSP) RPG endows its smirking Adolf with the Spear of Destiny, and aligns him with HP Lovecraft's Elder Gods. Or something. Let's be honest here - who ever knows what's really going on in these Japanese role-playing games?
Once again, the later, international versions of the game adopted some degree of censorship - merely referring to Hitler as "Führer", and making him wear aviator sunglasses, like he'd started taking fashion advice from some 1980s South American dictator. Or Tom Cruise.
Once again, the later, international versions of the game adopted some degree of censorship - merely referring to Hitler as "Führer", and making him wear aviator sunglasses, like he'd started taking fashion advice from some 1980s South American dictator. Or Tom Cruise.
1. COMMAND & CONQUER: RED ALERT (1996)
It's the age old debate: if you could go back in time and stop Hitler by killing him as a baby, could you do it? We reckon we could, but then we once accidentally killed a seal by dropping a coolbox off the edge of a cliff. Since then, we've really never looked back.
Command & Conquer: Red Alert found a better solution than infanticide - travel back in time and kill Hitler after he was a baby, but before he started doing really bad things.
Unfortunately for the time-travelling Albert Einstein, who came up with this plan... removing Hitler from history resulted in an almost-as-awful timeline wherein TV chef Ainsley Harriott (the Soviet Union) exposed himself on national television (ran amok across the world).
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
Command & Conquer: Red Alert found a better solution than infanticide - travel back in time and kill Hitler after he was a baby, but before he started doing really bad things.
Unfortunately for the time-travelling Albert Einstein, who came up with this plan... removing Hitler from history resulted in an almost-as-awful timeline wherein TV chef Ainsley Harriott (the Soviet Union) exposed himself on national television (ran amok across the world).
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
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