Every genre in every entertainment medium has its cliches. Cop movies. High school movies. Poems about trees. Unfortunately, there are some cliches that are so ingrained in video games that people have forgotten that they actually defy all real-world logic or sense. It's like some stuff gets put in there because it has always been so in games - and there's little appetite to try and do things differently.
Here we run down the Top 10 Video Game Cliches, and beg the industry to cast them out.
Here we run down the Top 10 Video Game Cliches, and beg the industry to cast them out.
10. LOOTING
It was the French anarchist Pierre-Joseph Proudhon who coined the phrase "Property is theft", in the belief that owning anything was contrary to liberty.
The Swiss philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau echoed the sentiment, saying: "The first man who, having enclosed a piece of ground, bethought himself of saying 'This is mine,' and found people simple enough to believe him, was the real founder of civil society. From how many crimes, wars, and murders, from how many horrors and misfortunes might not any one have saved mankind, by pulling up the stakes, or filling up the ditch, and crying to his fellows: Beware of listening to this impostor; you are undone if you once forget that the fruits of the earth belong to us all, and the earth itself to nobody."
Which is all well and good, even though you probably didn't bother reading all of that quote (we didn't either - we just cut-and-pasted it to make us look well intellectual and that), but do games - particularly RPGs - always have to adhere to this philosophy quite so slavishly? In The Witcher 3, sickly villagers loll around on the floor of their shacks while you root through their chests and sideboards, apparently too weak and self-absorbed in the misery to muster the energy for so much as a groan of protest.
The Swiss philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau echoed the sentiment, saying: "The first man who, having enclosed a piece of ground, bethought himself of saying 'This is mine,' and found people simple enough to believe him, was the real founder of civil society. From how many crimes, wars, and murders, from how many horrors and misfortunes might not any one have saved mankind, by pulling up the stakes, or filling up the ditch, and crying to his fellows: Beware of listening to this impostor; you are undone if you once forget that the fruits of the earth belong to us all, and the earth itself to nobody."
Which is all well and good, even though you probably didn't bother reading all of that quote (we didn't either - we just cut-and-pasted it to make us look well intellectual and that), but do games - particularly RPGs - always have to adhere to this philosophy quite so slavishly? In The Witcher 3, sickly villagers loll around on the floor of their shacks while you root through their chests and sideboards, apparently too weak and self-absorbed in the misery to muster the energy for so much as a groan of protest.
9. COLLECTABLE SIDE QUESTS
You know the sort of thing: searching every last cranny and crevice on a map to find trophies, or energy balls, or sea shanties, that have inexplicably been scattered far and wife by some unseen hand (and/or The Riddler). Fair enough... collectible side-quests are rarely compulsory, but how many of us are sufficiently afflicted with OCD to find 100% of everything?
Does anybody really go back to try and find every last thing? And if they do, does it not just leave them with a gnawing hollowness, that they've wasted such a significant chunk of the wretched lives on so pointless a task?
Does anybody really go back to try and find every last thing? And if they do, does it not just leave them with a gnawing hollowness, that they've wasted such a significant chunk of the wretched lives on so pointless a task?
8. UNSKIPPABLE CUT-SCENES
Keep them short, if you're going to have them. Or keep the story embedded within the gameplay. And keep exposition to a minimum, and find some way to make us care about the characters. We appreciate the work that goes into the script of a game, however bad it might be, but rarely - if we've bought, say, a shoot 'em up - are we playing for the story. We're playing so that we can shoot stuff.
And another thing: story, when it comes to an interactive medium, doesn't mean having to read an entire novel every time you find a book or piece of paper. That's like assaulting the player with footnotes, or handing out pamphlets during a movie, then asking the audience to browse them for some vital backstory while you pause the film.
And another thing: story, when it comes to an interactive medium, doesn't mean having to read an entire novel every time you find a book or piece of paper. That's like assaulting the player with footnotes, or handing out pamphlets during a movie, then asking the audience to browse them for some vital backstory while you pause the film.
7. EXPLOSIVE BARRELS
Video games have established that the most flammable thing in the universe is a red barrel, so it's startling that your opponents still choose to litter their bases with them, or use them as cover. Villains: please give all new employees a health and safety briefing before asking them to guard your headquarters. Rule one: Do NOT cower behind the red barrels.
6. DOORS YOU CAN"T UNLOCK/SMASH DOWN
In games, you're typically armed with shotguns, or grenades, or - at the bare minimum - a crowbar. You know: the sort of things that should easily splinter a wooden door.
So please, if you're going to include doors in a game at least give us some way of getting through them, and stop using them as set dressing. It makes you wonder what they're trying to keep hidden. A disfigured twin of the main character, sporting a vestigial nub on their chin, perhaps?
So please, if you're going to include doors in a game at least give us some way of getting through them, and stop using them as set dressing. It makes you wonder what they're trying to keep hidden. A disfigured twin of the main character, sporting a vestigial nub on their chin, perhaps?
5. THIRD ARM
We're beyond tired of playing characters with a withered, barely-functioning, third arm. Why include the arm at all if you're just going to let it hang limply at a character's side? What is it meant to signify?
4. "BRONK"
Who is Bronk? Game developers aren't telling us, but how many games in the last 20 years have featured a level that culminates in Bronk's funeral?
From Sonic the Hedgehog to Tomb Raider 2 to Destiny, we must have played through 40-plus variations of this dull and esoteric ceremony. Far Cry 3 tried to shake things up a bit by skipping the service, and going straight to Bronk's wake, but the funeral came back with a vengeance in Far Cry 4 - not even a nude mariachi band could enliven proceedings. Not once have these sequences added to a game, or given us the barest insight into who or what Bronk might've been.
From Sonic the Hedgehog to Tomb Raider 2 to Destiny, we must have played through 40-plus variations of this dull and esoteric ceremony. Far Cry 3 tried to shake things up a bit by skipping the service, and going straight to Bronk's wake, but the funeral came back with a vengeance in Far Cry 4 - not even a nude mariachi band could enliven proceedings. Not once have these sequences added to a game, or given us the barest insight into who or what Bronk might've been.
3. SHOOT-OUT IN A BAKERY
Developers seem to love causing baguettes and pastries to get ripped apart by bullets and explosives, but enough already! Seeing a bakery torn asunder by two warring factions, as the terrified staff cower beneath the counter, and the air becomes thick with breadcrumbs, has been done to death.
It's a trope that doesn't appear to be going away anytime soon. Worryingly, the Oculus Rift demo that's getting the most buzz seems to revolve around a self-destructing Parisian patisserie.
It's a trope that doesn't appear to be going away anytime soon. Worryingly, the Oculus Rift demo that's getting the most buzz seems to revolve around a self-destructing Parisian patisserie.
2. NAUGHTY STEVEN BONUS STAGES
Judging by how many bonus stages he's appeared in, Naughty Steven is the naughtiest boy who's ever lived. Why he hasn't been slapped with an ASBO or placed in care is anyone's guess. Nevertheless, what really rankles with the Naughty Steven bonus stages that crop up in what feels like every other game, is how incongruous they are.
Does Gears of War 2 really benefit from a diversion in which you attempt to stop a cherubic 11 year-old up-ending a bucket of yabbies into a supermarket chest freezer, or post flattened lemons through a neighbour's letterbox?
Does Gears of War 2 really benefit from a diversion in which you attempt to stop a cherubic 11 year-old up-ending a bucket of yabbies into a supermarket chest freezer, or post flattened lemons through a neighbour's letterbox?
1. SARCASTIC DENTIST
Sooner or later, most games characters encounter a sarcastic dentist. Sometimes it's just someone you'll meet as part of a mission or quest, other times he or she's a more integral NPC - accompanying you for at least part of your journey. Either way, one thing's for certain: you'll soon get sick of his incessant, passive-aggresive wit.
"Oh sure - break into another enemy base, rather than go for your six monthly check-up..."; "Don't worry about dragging me into battle - I'm a dentist and well equipped for these sorts of situations"; "Why don't you let yourself get punched in the mouth again - that's the number one way to care for your teeth?" and so on and so forth.
"Oh sure - break into another enemy base, rather than go for your six monthly check-up..."; "Don't worry about dragging me into battle - I'm a dentist and well equipped for these sorts of situations"; "Why don't you let yourself get punched in the mouth again - that's the number one way to care for your teeth?" and so on and so forth.
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