Scientists have proven conclusively that at least one hedgehog - Sonic The Hedgehog - is possessed of "attitude"... but what of his woodland cousins? What sort of attitude do they display?
Sonic is known for his cocksure bravado, a vain and narcissistic streak that renders him immediately unlikable, and isolated among his peers.
But what of the wider world of erinaceomorpha? Do they too possess Sonic's characteristics?
We embarked upon an exhaustive and in-depth study of ten hedgehogs. Our findings may surprise you.
Sonic is known for his cocksure bravado, a vain and narcissistic streak that renders him immediately unlikable, and isolated among his peers.
But what of the wider world of erinaceomorpha? Do they too possess Sonic's characteristics?
We embarked upon an exhaustive and in-depth study of ten hedgehogs. Our findings may surprise you.
10. SENSORIUM C-BOX THE HEDGEHOG
ATTITUDE: Lasvicious.
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "'Sup, girl? Slrrrp-slrrp-slrrrrrp."
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "'Sup, girl? Slrrrp-slrrp-slrrrrrp."
9. PLEASING-M THE HEDGEHOG
ATTITUDE: Ardent.
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "Wheeeeeeels! I got me some wheeeeeeeels!"
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "Wheeeeeeels! I got me some wheeeeeeeels!"
8. TRELLIS THE HEDGEHOG
ATTITUDE: Inquiring.
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "Astronomy compels the soul to look upwards and leads us from this world to another. Also, I have my head stuck in a toilet roll tube. Fetch help."
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "Astronomy compels the soul to look upwards and leads us from this world to another. Also, I have my head stuck in a toilet roll tube. Fetch help."
7. SICKNESS THE HEDGEHOG
ATTITUDE: Abhorred.
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "Yeah, I'd give it a few minutes before going in there... Also, you might want to buy a new toilet. And bath."
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "Yeah, I'd give it a few minutes before going in there... Also, you might want to buy a new toilet. And bath."
6. F. RICHARDS THE HEDGEHOG
ATTITUDE: Unbalanced.
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "Waaaargh! Wah! Wah! Waaaha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa!"
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "Waaaargh! Wah! Wah! Waaaha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa!"
5. PHAEDRITH THE HEDGEHOG
ATTITUDE: Fatuous.
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "I can't dethide which ith my favourite member of One Directhion."
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "I can't dethide which ith my favourite member of One Directhion."
6. SACKOWRENCH THE HEDGEHOG
ATTITUDE: Anguished.
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. The baby looked like a delicious snack."
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. The baby looked like a delicious snack."
5. POCKO THE HEDGEHOG
ATTITUDE: Startled.
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "Fuh-fuh... fuh... f-f-father?!"
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "Fuh-fuh... fuh... f-f-father?!"
4. BLUBBULB THE HEDGEHOG
ATTITUDE: Charmed.
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "My, what a lovely soft bum you have."
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "My, what a lovely soft bum you have."
3. McTAVISH THE HEDGEHOG
ATTITUDE: Unreasonable.
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "C'mon! I kill you. I kiiiill allll of you. Especially you."
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "C'mon! I kill you. I kiiiill allll of you. Especially you."
2. PORTHOS THE HEDGEHOG
ATTITUDE: Convivial.
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "Gosh. Isn't life wonderful? Aren't trees wonderful? Aren't anti-psychotic drugs wonderful?"
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "Gosh. Isn't life wonderful? Aren't trees wonderful? Aren't anti-psychotic drugs wonderful?"
1. FETISH THE HEDGEHOG
ATTITUDE: Disconcerted.
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "Please pull your trouser back up, Reverend Palmer. Please."
MOST LIKELY TO SAY: "Please pull your trouser back up, Reverend Palmer. Please."
RSS Feed
