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THESE PHOTOS OF ANIMALS PLAYING VIDEO GAMES ARE SO ADORABLE YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO WAIT FOR YOUR DAD TO GET OFF THE TOILET BEFORE SHOWING THEM TO HIM

14/9/2016

11 Comments

 
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Animals! They're nature's lovable idiots, and never cuter than when they're pretending to be people. Here's a gallery of animals pretending to play video games - which you'll probably be so excited about that you'll want to show them to your dad while he's on the toilet.
Haha! Look at this dark-coloured dog! He's having the best time ever! You probably want to go show this dog to your dad, even though he's on the toilet. He probably won't mind.

"Yeah, I do mind," he says when you double-check.
"Go away."
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You knock on the toilet door, desperate to show your dad the monkey playing Monkey Ball.

<KNOCKKNOKKNOCK>


"What?"

"Can I show you something?"

"I'm on the toilet. I'm having a poo."

Without another word you start shoulder-barging the door.

"What the hell are you doing? You're going to break the door."

"I need to show you this!"
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Rats are usually disgusting... except when they're playing video games. Look at this guy: he's almost unbearably cute. There'll never be a bad time to share the image with your dad.

"Dad! Dad! You have to see this!"

"I'm having a shit. Go away."


You go back downstairs, print out the picture, and slide it under the toilet door.

"What the hell are you doing now?"

"Look at it."

"I am, and I don't care."
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This cheeky rat couldn't be more relaxed. The only way he could get more relaxed is if he was doing his toilet business, like your dad is. Why not go share that observation with him the second he locks the toilet door behind him.

"No, I'm not opening the door just so you can show me another picture of an animal playing video games."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm going to toilet, and it's stupid."

"Going to the toilet isn't stupid. It's natural."

"You know what I mean. Now piss off. I can't go while you're out there."
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Another disgusting rat, seemingly playing on the NES in a dustbin. Your dad will need to see this once he's in the toilet.

"Is there somebody in there? Dad?"

"I told you I was in here. I said I was going for a poo. You even acknowledged me."

"Calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down. I just want to be left alone to have a poo in peace."

"Can I show you a picture?"

"When I'm out."

"No. Now."

"Go away."

"No. Now."

​"Go. Away."
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This rat doesn't even have any hairs. It's a bald rat, and it's revolting. Where are its hairs? Here's an idea: you could ask your dad about that, while he's on the toilet.

"Daaa-aaad..."

"Can it wait? I'm on the loo."

"Why doesn't this rat have any hairs?"

"What rat?"

"In this picture."

"What picture?"

"Of the bald rat. It's really scaring me."

"...I'll look at it when I come out."

"OK."

...

"Are you still outside?"

"Yes, dad. I'm too scared to go downstairs."

​"Jesus wept..."

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Look at the stupid expression on this rat's face. Go ask your dad about it.

<TRIES TO SLIDE PHOTOGRAPH OF RAT UNDER DOOR>

"What's going on out there? I'm in here you know!"

<CONTINUES SLIDING PHOTOGRAPH>

"What is that? What are you doing?"

<DEPARTS>

"Hello? What am I meant to do with this? Hello?" 
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The rat... he plays Angry Birds. An angry bird is the sort of bird your dad will be when you clamber out onto the extension roof, so that you can run across it, and lean in through the toilet window to show him this image.

"Da'!"

"What... the?! What the hell are you doing? I'm having a shit. I've told you not to run on the extension roof! You'll go right through. Get lost. Sod off! I don't want to look at that right now."
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Two naked molerats playing head-to-head. Time to get your dad's toilet-based opinion.

"DAD!"

"Jesus. You made me jump."

"Opinion needed on two naked molerats playing head-to-head."

"I'm sorry?"

"You heard me. C'mon! No time!"
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This is one fat rat! Quick - run upstairs, curl up outside the toilet door, and coo beneath the door.

"Dada... dada... I want to show you a rat."

"Why do you always wait until I'm in here before showing me things?"

You curl your fingers beneath the door, and waggle them at him.

"Get lost, you bloody weirdo!"
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What is it with rats and video games? Why not go and ask your dad? He's in the toilet right now - but when has that ever stopped you?

<KNOCK KNOCK>

"What?"

"Dad, what is it with rats and video games?"

"Go away."

"But what is it though?"

"You knew I was having a poo. Why do you wait until I come up here to ask me about animals and video games?"

"Can I show you the picture?"

"No! I don't want to see the bloody picture. I just want to go to toilet in peace for once. I've started going at work instead of at home, because every time I come up here, you start asking me things through the door, or climbing onto the extension roof. I'm starting to think there's something wrong with you. Seriously. I know your mum wonders it too. She said you spied on her in the chemist the other day."


<YOU KICK THE TOILET DOOR> 
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Mummy rat doesn't want baby rat to play on her 3DS - just like your daddy doesn't want to be disturbed while doing his business. Still... you soldier on, and remove the hinges on the toilet door while he's in there.

​Sadly, the door topples inwards, giving your dad concussion, and you must wait until he wakes up to show him the picture. 
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FROM THE ARCHIVE:
IT'S NOT FOR US TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO WITH THESE PHOTOS OF VINTAGE GAMERS... BUT PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE TO SHOW THEM TO YOUR DAD IN THE BATH?
10 THINGS THAT LOOK LIKE THE COMMODORE LOGO
​
13 ANIMALS THAT SORT OF LOOK LIKE SUPER MARIO A BIT

11 Comments
Bruce Flagpole
15/9/2016 09:21:59 am

This brightened the start to my day. Seems Basil was right, it was a rat...

Reply
DrHamHock link
15/9/2016 09:58:18 am

I am reading this flight of fancy while having a poo. It's not putting me off my stride. I think it's heeeeeellllllping.

Reply
RG
15/9/2016 12:20:33 pm

Did you notice the cat under the dog in photo #1?

Reply
dont b paranoid lol
15/9/2016 05:56:48 pm

don't be so paranoid it's probably a fake pic lol ... why would a cat go under a dog? That's relative to a man hugging a gorilla... not likely!

Reply
Blake
18/9/2016 12:50:15 pm

look at this bloke, doesn't know a cat from a rat

Reply
Seano
15/9/2016 12:23:06 pm

I just... It's just... I mean...

I would love to see a picture of the inside of Biffo's mind...

Reply
J
15/9/2016 02:46:05 pm

It would just be Vladimir Putin riding a rat riding a kitten fighting a Kangaroo called Roger, pretty much the same as anyone else.

Reply
K
15/9/2016 04:41:15 pm

Not everyone. Some people imagine the Kangaroo to be called 'Curuss'. Curuss is friendly but has acid saliva, of which Curuss must be cured :(

Mr Biffo
15/9/2016 06:23:11 pm

You do. On here. Every single day.

Reply
Kelvin Green link
15/9/2016 06:52:58 pm

There is a computer game about having a shower with your dad. I don't think there are any rats in it.

Reply
Toaster
19/9/2016 07:32:37 pm

These Biffobeasts are wonderful. Good job, Mr Rose, good job.

Reply



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