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THE TEN BEST MEGA CD GAMES EVER, MAYBE

27/4/2017

25 Comments

 
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Night Trap is getting a re-release to celebrate its 25th anniversary. No, really: one of the most dubious games of the CD-ROM era is set to be smeared across yer actual Xbox One and PlayStation 4, like a foul-smelling paste.

Arguably, Night Trap was the most high-profile release ever for Sega's Mega-CD, the needless CD-ROM Mega Drive add-on, which many (me) consider to be the start of Sega's impressive downfall.

However, it also became mired in a "videogame nasty" storm, which led directly to the creation of America's games industry ratings system, the ESRB. You know: despite being about as provocative as an episode of The One Show. Tellingly, the re-released game will be rated "teen", down from the original version's "mature".

Could it be that full-motion video games are ripe for a revival? Or is this just a slice of retro-gaming kitsch, a throw-back to an era when people became outraged over the slightest little... oh.

Oh no...

Also, which other Mega CD games could be ripe for a re-release? Frankly, it's not an easy question to answer: there were barely any truly classic system exclusives, and most of the Mega CD's best games were "special editions" of older games with extra levels, and nicer music, and an animated cat which popped up on screen at regular intervals to put a hot cone in his "Henry".

​Still... y'know... I gave it a shot.
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG CD
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Sega has never stopped re-releasing Sonic CD, but nevertheless... it's definitely one of the Mega CD's better exclusives; a proper, full-blooded, Sonic game

The bonus stages featured some nice SNES-style 3D courses, but the real innovation was the use of time travel; Sonic could travel between the future and the past mid-level. Sadly, this didn't feature him interacting with, I dunno, Jacobites or Saxons, or the band Saxon. It just meant a different colour scheme and platform layout.

That said, while being one of the more solid entries in the Sonic series, having revisited Sonic CD... there's not a lot in there which couldn't have been done on the basic Mega Drive. Still... Never mind, eh. 

I told you this list would be hard work.
SNATCHER
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One of Hideo Kojima's earliest games, Snatcher surely has to be ripe for a remake? Well... except that he's no longer friends with his former publisher.

Dripping with the cyberpunk tropes that were fashionable at the time, Snatcher is essentially a first-person point-and-click adventure with shooting sequences, and - get this - a character called Metal Gear. Quite how it ties into that series' convoluted timeline is unclear, but you might like to get a crowbar out.

Snatcher was critically acclaimed upon release... but in the interests of full disclosure, I found it a bit boring.

So, this is going well then...
THUNDERHAWK
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Ah! Now we are "cookin' on gas".

I really liked Thunderhawk, from Britain's very own Core Design, who were based in Derby. Actually... having said a few weeks ago - when I was up there to shoot Found Footage - that I'd never been to Derby before... I've literally just remembered that Mr Hairs and I once visited Core Design HQ, and they took us out for lunch. So... that's nice.

Though it had already been released on - shudder - the Amiga, Thunderhawk was one of the few decent Mega CD games to actually offer something other than full-motion video, which couldn't be done on the Mega Drive. It was this: a really good combat flight simulator with you in a helicopter. It actually made me think that buying a Mega CD wasn't such a bad idea after all.

​Well, for about five minutes.

​"LOL"!
POPFUL MAIL
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Part 2D side-scrolling platformer, part RPG, Popful Mail was, arguably, one of the most charming games ever released on the Mega CD. Though not an exclusive, it could at least boast enough upgrades and differences from its PC Engine and Super NES counterparts to make it a Mega CD must-have.

​You know: not least because there wasn't much else worth getting.

Why was it called Popful Mail? That's the name of the main character, obviously. It's a stupid name.
SILPHEED
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Though one of those games featuring full-motion video backgrounds, overlaid with interactive elements, Silpheed was nevertheless one of the Mega CD's top tier games. Ultimately, it wasn't much different from most vertically scrolling shoot 'em ups, but looked sufficiently flashy to be able to impress your mandem.

Let us just pause for a moment to consider the name Silpheed. Surely I wasn't alone in wanting to call it "Slipheed"?
BATTLECORPS
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Despite its nondescript title, Battlecorps was a big walking robot mech game at a time when such things were relatively novel - particularly those which offered 3D first-person visuals. It looks ropey by today's standards, but back in the day this was quite the thing.

Hey, here's another thing: one of Digi's first big competitions was a tie-up with D-D-Dixons. I've mentioned before that we gave away Robocop's actual car as part of that competition, but we also gave away many, many, Mega-CDs and CD Walkmen.

The method by which this was done was that Dixons sent us loads of vouchers for said things - far more than we were ever able to give away on Digitiser - and we posted them out to winners.


Can you guess what happened? That's right: when the competition closed we had a lot of left over vouchers, which D-D-Dixons never wanted back.

​You might be able to fill in the blanks there...
WIREHEAD
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Simultaneously one of the worst Mega CD games and one of the best, Wirehead's FMV quick-time linearity was offset by the sheer randomness of the on-screen occurrences.

Domestic simpleton "Ned" is thrust into one dangerous scenario after another, and the player must avert his demise in a Dragon's Lair stylee.

Failure could result in "Ned" being eaten by a bear, driving off a cliff, getting arrested by cops, shot by cowboys, plummeting to his death from an aeroplane, accidentally sitting on a hot cone, rolling himself up in a tarp, or choking to death on a duck's leg. It wasn't good, but they'd clearly lobbed a few quid at the video sequences.

Which probably leaves you with just one question: what is "Ned" short for?

Answer: Nedpenis.
LUNAR: THE SILVER STAR
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Unexpectedly, the Mega CD was treated to a fair few decent Japanese RPGs, including Shining Force, and Lunar: The Silver Star and Eternal Blue. What set them apart from other RPGs? Fully animated cut-scenes, duh.

Okay... look... see... I know you all like games like this, but the more Japanese they are, the more I turn cold. I liked Zelda. I liked Secret of Mana. But aren't they all much of a muchness? I dunno. Each to their own, I suppose, but it's time to come clean: I lose patience with all those text-y conversations.

Yes. Yes, I probably do have ADHD. It would explain a lot.
HEART OF THE ALIEN
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Another World was a bit of a phenomenon at the time; a cinematic platform game in an era when games struggled to ape cinema in the slightly embarrassing way they do now, like a bunch of sycophants flapping around the bottom of Tom Cruise's stilt legs, while he strides onwards pretending not to care.

Another World appeared on every system capable of running it... but its sequel, Heart of the Alien, was a Mega CD-exclusive. Furthermore, it was as good as its predecessor.

​So... y'know. That was a bit of a waste then.
FINAL FIGHT CD
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When Capcom's Final Fight was originally released for the Super NES, people were appalled that it didn't have the arcade original's two-player mode. The Sega CD version was heralded as being arcade perfect, for it reintroduced simultaneous two-player mode.

​This was a lie, however; it didn't look as good as the original, and had less enemies on screen at once. Also, for the Western release they put extra clothing on the female characters so that they looked less like prostitutes.

Can you imagine if they did that now? Capcom would be blacklisted by the right, some minor female employee would be singled out as being responsible for the politically correct decision and have her entire life doxxed by a bunch of a-holes, the left would get on their high horse about the inhuman behaviour of the right, and we'd get article after article, and endless YouTube videos about it, and there'd be Twitter spats, and news stories, and somebody would end up with their life ruined, and everyone else would forget about it entirely a week later, as the news and outrage cycle moved on.

YOU ALL SUCK.

25 Comments
Jamie
27/4/2017 10:15:29 am

Wow, never realised it wasn't SLIPheed until now. So that's something I've learned today.

Reply
RG
27/4/2017 02:02:46 pm

I thought it was Shed Pile

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DEAN
27/4/2017 10:16:38 am

I had a Mega CD and enjoyed stacking it, fixing the little arm in and looking at it far more than actually... you know.

But you brought up having attention deficits - I'm down with that, bro!
Thing is though right, surely that's pretty common with gamers en masse - I mean, TV and movies... books... just generally too boring, right? I still struggle to get through an entire film in one sitting unless it's particularly brilliant... but games demand so much more from you that they occupy enough grey space and absorb you more fully (matron).

But here's the thing - some games really forget that and think that watching scenes or reading words is what you really want, you naughty boy you. Well guess what... fuck off.
I bought Yooka-Laylee to play with my son recently - aside from the wretching-cum-urging sounds/syntax there was an abundance of reading material... my son, like me, has the attention span of a giddy Cerberus with biscuits being chucked about... and we were not happy lizards or bats.

Aloha, aloha...
Finally - the big kahuna - WALKMEN or WALKMANS?
I think it's WALKMANS...

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WALKDEVO
27/4/2017 01:34:09 pm

Are we not WALKMEN?

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DEAN
27/4/2017 03:04:07 pm

I rather think we're a bunch of WALKERS.

Biscuits
27/4/2017 10:25:22 am

Hey man, there was also that good shoot em up I can't remember the name of, and something about racing around tunnels that was really boring FMV

My friend had the MegaCD (and the Mega32X, but I'll await your inevitable article before I desperately scrape every corner of my memory trying to think of something to say about it), and Night Trap was scary to us. Perhaps due to this: being 9

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DEAN
27/4/2017 10:46:23 am

Scary to "us"?
That scared me a little bit, Biscuits!

But yeah, maybe it was being 9 or maybe it was just being a big girl's blouse.

Here's one for you - if a feller was "shopped" in by a "wiz" into the header picture, in your opinion, what would the lady on the extreme left be doing? The one on the right is obviously "queening".

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Biscuits
27/4/2017 04:59:40 pm

'Us' as in the 'afore' mentioned friend and I...we were both spooked by a shot of some kind of liquid (BLOOD????) flowing through a tube...

See the pestle? Having read about it in Marie Claire, lady on the left is preparing a sensual 'lover's pomace' for spreading on the yet-to-be-shopped fellows chest. She looks to the heavens in thought: Lavender, as would compliment his gentle soul? Or a few shavings of ginger, to inflame his passionate side?

That lucky dog!

DEAN
27/4/2017 07:24:54 pm

LOL - that's inspired stuff, Biscuits!

Oh yeah, you did say about a mate - I take it back... apart from the big girl's blouse bit.... Marie Claire.... Pfft.

I used to know this girl that always bought The National Enquirer - now that was some classy stuff! If you're unfamiliar, it's like a celebrity goss (obvs) mag but really bizarre and actually quite enjoyable.
Kinda like The Sunday Sport but for d'ladies.

Biscotti
28/4/2017 11:30:36 am

I'm not familiar with The National Enquirer past seeing it in a few newsagents, but I was a huge fan of Weekly World News for a while, which sounds similar, though with less of a celebrity bent

Paul Milne
27/4/2017 10:36:40 am

Used to have a lot of tolerance for dialogue-heavy RPGs but I'm playing Persona 5 just now and it's sort of doing my head in. At least the text is skippable. It is sheer hell in a game when it's all voice-acted and the jerks onscreen gesture as if they are actors and the game makers think they're making a film and it's all badly-paced and aaaarghhhh

argh.

Anyway: Loved Silpheed (always called it Slipheed, yes), had a great soundtrack, too. And having Final Fight in the house was mind-blowing to young me. Seemed arcade perfect at the time but what did I know?

Those stupid grainy interactive anime things like Road Avenger were abysmal but seemed incredibly fancy. Simpler times! Slimper.

My brother had the Mega CD AND the 32X so his Megadrive was rather repulsive. Oo-er.

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Spiney O'Sullivan
27/4/2017 11:23:36 am

I keep wanting to play a proper JRPG, but then realising that most of them are filled with cliche plots and awful dialogue. I'm afraid to replay some of my old favourites in case they turn out to be like that.

Chrono Trigger still holds up, though.

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Spiney O'Sullivan
27/4/2017 05:43:21 pm

That said, for a long time if you wanted a game with anything even resembling a decent story your choice was point and clicks or JRPGs. Storytelling in any almost other genre was a long way behind. I mean, bear in mind we once thought Metal Gear Solid had a great plot.

Paul Milne
27/4/2017 08:14:19 pm

It's true. When I first played Final Fantasy VI, the story seemed absolutely amazing for a game. I fear it was the beginning of something terrible, though, where everyone making a game thought they were incredible film directors making glorious works of depth and meaning.

Actually, FFVII was maybe the start of that. So much...waiting...for...the...characters...to...make...arm...gestures...

Spiney O'Sullivan
27/4/2017 08:55:24 pm

I may get into a Final Fantasy on iOS after Chrono trigger is done. FFIV, V, or VI are tempting. I just got back into Chrono Trigger after posting the above and finished Robo's forest farming quest. I never did that sidequest whenever I was younger, so the resulting scenes were a total surprise, and now I feel like I've been punched in the stomach after failing a very important scene.

Yep, Chrono Trigger has still got it. It's the best JRPG.

RichardM
27/4/2017 11:10:30 am

I tried Sonic CD once, but it felt like a ROM hack of Sonic 2: so I never gave it a chance. Maybe worth another look.

As far as the excess Dixon's vouchers go, I can only assume you carefully shredded and disposed of them all like a pair of good boys.

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Spiney O'Sullivan
27/4/2017 11:19:59 am

Lunar: Silver Star has an excellent iOS port. Updated graphics and translation, proper animated cutscenes, and most importantly for an iOS JRPG: proper save-anywhere gameplay and it doesn't totally reset every single bloody time you leave the app for a minute (why must you make great games such a chore, Squeenix?).

Also I'm going to spit in the face of the general views of Sonic fans and declare that I don't love Sonic CD that much. The level design is abstract to the point of nightmarishness if you want to play it fully, and the special stages are cool-looking but annoying. Sonic CD's main draw is the interesting (but finicky) time-travel concept and animated cutscenes.

Also what, no love for Time Gal, one of the most insane and nonsensical games ever made?

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Mrtankthreat
27/4/2017 12:09:17 pm

I too used to think it was slipheed. Then I thought the ph should run together as an f. Silfheed is much easier to pronounce than silp heed. Does anyone know the intended pronunciation?

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Waynan The Barbarian
27/4/2017 01:17:12 pm

Sil-pheed (Silfeed)

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Kara Van Park
27/4/2017 06:30:46 pm

Wasn't there a shoot em up where you were a tiny ship inside someone's gut lining?

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Dave
27/4/2017 08:01:14 pm

Yes, Microcosm. Looked absolutely incredible at the time (like an interactive version of the film Innerspace). Shame that it played like absolute dog.

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jackman
27/4/2017 07:34:53 pm

Snatcher is boring. I'm so glad you said it out loud x

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superfog
27/4/2017 08:28:58 pm

I would support the most draconion, anti-free speech un-supressing regime that implemented the following policies:

1. The One "Show" should be banned and all involved should be sent to the gulag

2. So should Escape from the Countryside

3. So should the program about the hobo woman who lives in the tip and scrounges knik-knaks(sic?) to "Flog It" to the gullible

Sadly, my machinations to rid the world of such horrors is derailed by Ms. Superfog being enchanted by these atrocities!

I am not Gaming Mill or fit and/or strong, and that's not all

something about Mega CDs

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PeskyFetch
28/4/2017 06:44:42 pm

It's a lovely slip, but it is escape to the country.

There's a horse, in the field.

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Shoggz link
27/4/2017 08:45:16 pm

Wow, there were 10 MegaCD games!

I considered myself something of Sega geek, but could only remember half of those...

Reply



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