Do you know what I've realised about the Nintendo Switch? It's a games console for middle-aged people. People with jobs. People with kids. With chores. With commitments. Relationships. It's a console for lapsed gamers, and gamers who have been around a bit. It's a console for people who want to remember that feeling they used to get when playing games.
Certainly, that isn't the audience Nintendo was aiming at when it released its first Switch lifestyle ad - full of young, beautiful souls... the sort who would rather go to parties than have a night in recovering from a working week spent juggling bills and making the kids' packed lunches and bowing to the whims of someone who you've realised only got to a management position because they were desperate enough to do so.
People without stretchmarks, or hair in places they don't want hair, and bald bits in places where they do want hair. People with energy and an immunity to hangovers.
You know: people who don't need to spend two days in bed, just because they did something the day before. People without responsibility to anything other than their own, shallow, lives. The sort who are significantly more employable than the rest of us because they've yet to realise that nothing they ever do actually matters. People whose days seem inexplicably longer than everyone else's, whose lives are an endless stream of perfect Instagram moments. I don't even know how to use Instagram.
I'm talking about people with loads of time on their hands, even if I did rather lose my way a bit there.
This is what the Switch is: a console for people whose time is limited. I mean, I've been lucky over the years. I've - mostly - always been able to find time for gaming. These past couple of months, however, I've been too busy to even think about firing up the PS4 or Xbox One.
The only console I've touched in that time is the Switch.
Certainly, that isn't the audience Nintendo was aiming at when it released its first Switch lifestyle ad - full of young, beautiful souls... the sort who would rather go to parties than have a night in recovering from a working week spent juggling bills and making the kids' packed lunches and bowing to the whims of someone who you've realised only got to a management position because they were desperate enough to do so.
People without stretchmarks, or hair in places they don't want hair, and bald bits in places where they do want hair. People with energy and an immunity to hangovers.
You know: people who don't need to spend two days in bed, just because they did something the day before. People without responsibility to anything other than their own, shallow, lives. The sort who are significantly more employable than the rest of us because they've yet to realise that nothing they ever do actually matters. People whose days seem inexplicably longer than everyone else's, whose lives are an endless stream of perfect Instagram moments. I don't even know how to use Instagram.
I'm talking about people with loads of time on their hands, even if I did rather lose my way a bit there.
This is what the Switch is: a console for people whose time is limited. I mean, I've been lucky over the years. I've - mostly - always been able to find time for gaming. These past couple of months, however, I've been too busy to even think about firing up the PS4 or Xbox One.
The only console I've touched in that time is the Switch.
DOCK OF THE BAY
See, there are two things working in the Switch's favour; the convenience of being able to just pluck it out of its dock and play it wherever you are, and the sorts of games that are available on it.
Super Mario Kart 8, Arms, Splatoon 2 - these are games you can have a quick go of to get your gaming fix. You don't need to invest in a big story, you don't need to carve out two hours of your day to complete a side mission. Pick it up, turn it on, quick blast, done.
Yes, Zelda is something of a more enormous beast, but even that rewards those of use who are time-limited, due to the sandbox nature of its world, its pared-backed storytelling, and the fact you don't need to arrange a meeting time that's convenient for your mates, log onto a server, find a game, and play through a multi-hour raid.
If you get interrupted mid-way through a quest, you can just turn off the Switch knowing you'll be able to restart exactly where you left off.
I don't know if it's because Nintendo is run by middle-aged people, or if it's because Nintendo simply doesn't care about being cool and edgy, but everything about the Switch makes gaming easy. It's the least self-conscious games machine of all time.
See, there are two things working in the Switch's favour; the convenience of being able to just pluck it out of its dock and play it wherever you are, and the sorts of games that are available on it.
Super Mario Kart 8, Arms, Splatoon 2 - these are games you can have a quick go of to get your gaming fix. You don't need to invest in a big story, you don't need to carve out two hours of your day to complete a side mission. Pick it up, turn it on, quick blast, done.
Yes, Zelda is something of a more enormous beast, but even that rewards those of use who are time-limited, due to the sandbox nature of its world, its pared-backed storytelling, and the fact you don't need to arrange a meeting time that's convenient for your mates, log onto a server, find a game, and play through a multi-hour raid.
If you get interrupted mid-way through a quest, you can just turn off the Switch knowing you'll be able to restart exactly where you left off.
I don't know if it's because Nintendo is run by middle-aged people, or if it's because Nintendo simply doesn't care about being cool and edgy, but everything about the Switch makes gaming easy. It's the least self-conscious games machine of all time.
GATHERING DUST
I've not stopped buying games for my Xbox One and PS4. I've got Destiny 2, Mass Effect: Andromeda, and Uncharted: The Lost Legacy all still in their wrappers, waiting for some fantasy, might-never-happen, moment when I suddenly find myself with loads of time.
I'm realising that - perhaps - I've entered a new phase of my relationship with gaming. Much as I've always loved the epic, I might have to accept that my lifestyle, my tastes, have changed through circumstance.
The days when I could find a mutual time to meet buddies online has gone; we're all too busy, too distracted with life. I don't want to play games with strangers, and I don't want to sink hours every night into something which doesn't feel authentic. I think that's what I crave; Destiny, Mass Effect, Call of Duty, Tomb Raider, so many modern franchises feel overly curated to shift numbers, or to appear cool. They're almost embarrassed to be games.
Nintendo feels real, feels genuine, feels like it doesn't give a shit about being cool. Those days have passed, and - as I get older - I despair at anyone's attempts to mask who or what they really are. Whether you're a person or a games console, just be yourself and stop trying so bloody hard. You're not for everyone, not everyone is going to like you, just accept that and be you so that you can be embraced by those whose tastes you match. That's the Switch. Life's too short for anything else.
It's a machine that is as much a reflection of its audience as it is designed for them, and there's a reason why - in years to come - I know I'm going to be ranking it alongside my favourite games machines of all time.
It has the benefit of feeling brand new and super old all at once, and I owe big time for arriving at exactly the right point in my life. Because of the Switch I'm not about to turn my back on gaming.
I've not stopped buying games for my Xbox One and PS4. I've got Destiny 2, Mass Effect: Andromeda, and Uncharted: The Lost Legacy all still in their wrappers, waiting for some fantasy, might-never-happen, moment when I suddenly find myself with loads of time.
I'm realising that - perhaps - I've entered a new phase of my relationship with gaming. Much as I've always loved the epic, I might have to accept that my lifestyle, my tastes, have changed through circumstance.
The days when I could find a mutual time to meet buddies online has gone; we're all too busy, too distracted with life. I don't want to play games with strangers, and I don't want to sink hours every night into something which doesn't feel authentic. I think that's what I crave; Destiny, Mass Effect, Call of Duty, Tomb Raider, so many modern franchises feel overly curated to shift numbers, or to appear cool. They're almost embarrassed to be games.
Nintendo feels real, feels genuine, feels like it doesn't give a shit about being cool. Those days have passed, and - as I get older - I despair at anyone's attempts to mask who or what they really are. Whether you're a person or a games console, just be yourself and stop trying so bloody hard. You're not for everyone, not everyone is going to like you, just accept that and be you so that you can be embraced by those whose tastes you match. That's the Switch. Life's too short for anything else.
It's a machine that is as much a reflection of its audience as it is designed for them, and there's a reason why - in years to come - I know I'm going to be ranking it alongside my favourite games machines of all time.
It has the benefit of feeling brand new and super old all at once, and I owe big time for arriving at exactly the right point in my life. Because of the Switch I'm not about to turn my back on gaming.
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