Until the release of the two Horror sets in 1978, Top Trumps had focused mostly on vehicles - cars, helicopters, tanks and the like. The Horror Trumps were different; luridly hand-drawn, and giving youths the opportunity to finally settle the age-old question of who was more horrific - Dracula or Frankenstein. And it wasn't just the big screen monsters who got an outing in these Top Trumps packs - but monsters that were conceived entirely for the two sets, such as The Zetan Priest and "Maggot".
It didn't matter to us that all of the images had been copied from elsewhere - that the Venusian Death Cell jailer was clearly a Sea Devil from Doctor Who. All we knew is that the Trumps, offered without context or comment, depicted scenes more grisly and violent than our young minds could've ever conceived on their own.
Brace yourselves - for here are just ten of these truly horrific Trumps...
DONALD TRUMP JOKE!!!!!
Traditionally, Death is depicted as a skeleton in a hood, carrying a scythe. Waddingtons knew better - showing Death as it really is: the offspring of a slow loris and a California Raisin, with a mouth seemingly designed for filtering krill.
Yes, sometimes you hear about schizophrenia sufferers stabbing people and that, but that's surely more a tragedy than an act of horror. Also, what's going on with Madman's face? He looks like he's been stung by a load of wasps. Still, being a loony he probably stuck his head in a hive or something...
"Durrrhhhhh! I wonder what's in here...??! Hey - hello, little stripey fellers. How you - ow! Ow! My face! They done gone and stung me... Durrrnhhhh!"
Hahaha. Mad people...!
"Up from the depths
Thirty stories high
His head in the sky
And looking sssssspectacular!"
"Jimmy? Jimmy, what have they done to you?! Jimmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!"
"Ohhhh noooooo! Noooooo! Nooooooooo! What do I do? What do I do?! Oh nooo - all my slime is coming out!"
A hunchback? No. It's almost as if they're embarrassed about it, or don't think young girls want a cuddly doll of somebody with a physical deformity, or something.
Also, let's not forget that the entire thrust of both the novel and the animated movie was about looking beyond the physical, with Quasimodo depicted as an angel trapped in a devil's body. Putting him on a "horror" card? Well, that seems a little mean. given the themes Victor Hugo was aiming for. Still, he never ended up with the girl in either version of the story, which seems like mixed messages.
Perhaps Hugo was going for irony, but the title of his book always felt a bit mean. I mean, let's all write a book about a one-legged person on a boat, called The Pogo Stick Freak of the SS Monoped, or something about a deaf guy living in a clocktower, called The Deaffo-What-What? of Big Ben. Or an allergy sufferer who lives in a warehouse, called The Sneezing Freak of The Amazon Fulfilment Centre...
"C'mon, love - just one kiss."
"No, I don't want to!"
"Yes you do! I'll call a cab and we can go back to my nest."