Greetings, Dicks. I'm Doctor Ashley Tagg... although some of my students have recently taken to calling me "Doctor Hashtag". I don't know why.
It can't have escaped your attention that we are on the eve of an historic, three-way, decision: whether to leave, opt out from, or depart the European Union, or "Eu-U".
Before you take to the polls today, I want to draw your attention to the real risk facing Britain today, a phenomenon discovered by my dear friends, the Chan quadruplets, from the University of Beijing (the students call them "4Chan" - I don't know why).
That phenomenon is the real and present threat of massive migration from the continent. Here I present for you today a picture of what Britain will become if we do not vote to leave. I thank you with all my heart for giving me this opportunity, and I wish you the very best in your endeavours.
It can't have escaped your attention that we are on the eve of an historic, three-way, decision: whether to leave, opt out from, or depart the European Union, or "Eu-U".
Before you take to the polls today, I want to draw your attention to the real risk facing Britain today, a phenomenon discovered by my dear friends, the Chan quadruplets, from the University of Beijing (the students call them "4Chan" - I don't know why).
That phenomenon is the real and present threat of massive migration from the continent. Here I present for you today a picture of what Britain will become if we do not vote to leave. I thank you with all my heart for giving me this opportunity, and I wish you the very best in your endeavours.
If we do not close our borders, this is the Britain we shall have: a country overrun by enormous Continental migrants. These literal giants, these towering mutations, shall flood our towns and villages with their massive way of life, looming over our high streets, and pointing and frowning at our trains.
The colossal incomers will stand twixt our mock Tudor semis on bin day.
Our villages will be overrun by their hen parties, our streets and cul-de-sacs littered with their enormous discarded WKD bottles and colossal penis-shaped novelties.
Their towering children will be free to roam our farms to get a better look at the trains. They shall distract the drivers with their vague and benign smiles.
Their enormous elders will stand and mock our sportsmen. "Look at the tiny cricketers!" they shall snort, derisively. "They're small."
Driven here in search of a better way of life, the large ones shall interfere with the games on our village greens, lifting our players by their heads, and moving them around like baubles.
These gargantuan incomers will sweep away our values with their large brooms.
They will peer into our houses, on the way back from the benefits office.
They will lean against our shops, preventing honest, dependable, British workers from doing their jobs.
They shall squat on our bridges, while dropping mountains of excrement into our rivers.
Our roads will be blocked by their yellow-trousered sit-downs, causing huge repercussions for our transport infrastructure.
And their oversized children shall rub themselves up against the thatched roofs of our homes, causing untold damage to our way of life.
Vote #Leave to stop the massive migrants!
RSS Feed
