THE NOBLE ART OF AVOIDING SPOILERS - BY MR BIFFO

THE NOBLE ART OF AVOIDING SPOILERS - by Mr Biffo

11/12/2017

It's a big week for me; the week that a brand new Star Wars film is released. Yeah, I know, loads of you couldn't care less. You think Disney is milking Star Wars for all its worth. Blah blah. Boring. Let's all crap over something that lots of people enjoy.

Unfortunately for you, sufficient millions of people still love Star Wars enough to ensure that Disney/LucasFilm continue the milking for the foreseeable future.

Star Wars has always been synonymous with Christmas for me. The original Star Wars was released on the 27th of December 1977 in the UK. Though the next two movies were released in May and June, respectively, it began for me an association between Christmas and Star Wars. For my entire childhood, my Christmas wish lists were comprised almost entirely of Star Wars toys.

So, when LucasFilm started releasing these new Star Wars movies in December, it felt right. Furthermore, it sort of adds to the excitement of them.

The world premiere of The Last Jedi was held last Saturday night, which means that people have now seen the film. Reactions have been overwhelming positive (though lest we forget that they were for The Phantom Menace too, until the grim reality sunk in). The thing is, now that those outside of LucasFilm and Disney have seen the movie, there's a big chance that the film's surprises are going to leak.

Unfortunately, my issue isn't one of whether they leak... it's whether I can control myself enough not to go looking for those leaks.

SPOILED ROTTEN
When Han Solo was killed in The Force Awakens, I'd known it was coming. I mean, when Harrison Ford signed on, I'd been pretty certain that it was only on the proviso that the character was killed off; he begged George Lucas to kill off Han Solo twice during the original trilogy.

Plus, narratively, it made sense; if they were following the classic hero's journey template, then Rey's mentor/father figure had to die. Plus plus plus... I'd read about Han Solo being killed online about a week before.

This is my problem; it isn't other people I have to worry about when it comes to spoilers - it's me. It's my own inability to resist the urge to go and seek them out. Only when it matters to me of course. Most films and TV shows I don't bother looking up spoilers for. Heck, I've managed to avoid all spoilers about Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad in case I ever actually get around to watching them.

I'm feeling strong, I have to say. I probably know less going into The Last Jedi than I did either of the last two Star Wars films, and that's testament to how tightly controlled the production has been this time; far more than either The Force Awakens or Rogue One were. I'm so close to the film being released now that I'm pretty certain I can hold out just a few more days.

But... I'm not entirely confident.

When a load of Doctor Who scripts were leaked online a few years ago I couldn't resist reading them. Oddly, they didn't spoil the show for me, but in recent years I've grown a bit bored with Doctor Who anyway. Peter Capaldi's final episode is coming up on Christmas Day, and - frankly - the only bit I really give a toss about are the last couple of minutes where he turns into Jodie Whittaker. And that's hardly a spoiler.

THE SPOILING DEAD
It's like... I've got a love-hate thing going on with The Walking Dead at the moment. I'm not sure how much I enjoy the series anymore. Indeed, though I keep watching it, I think its spin-off, Fear The Walking Dead, is the far better show now.

Nevertheless, this morning I stumbled across a spoiler for tonight's mid-season finale (because the show airs on Sunday nights in the US); I saw a headline about a major character death, and sort of half-sleepily, half-without thinking, clicked on the article. Now the episode is spoiled for me... in part because the potential for surprise is about the only thing left that the show has to offer me. And thanks to my idle browsing even that has been taken away.

Sometimes I don't care about spoilers; I don't think knowing that Han Solo died really ruined The Force Awakens for me, but I do wonder how much more I'd have enjoyed the movie that first time if I had seen it not knowing that.

So, I'm going to take that spoiler for The Walking Dead and consider it a warning shot, telling me to avoid all The Last Jedi spoilers for the next few days. See, I remember watching The Empire Strikes Back for the first time, and having my mind blown at the whole "I am your father thing". I came home and built a Bespin out of Lego, and re-enacted the scene with my Star Warts figures. It was an attempt to process it. Until Return of the Jedi, I ended up convincing myself that Darth Vader had been lying.

Avoiding spoilers for The Last Jedi won't be easy; the review embargo lifts tomorrow night, and reviews - even when they're "spoiler-free" - can imply enough that I can fill in the blanks. Right now, I honestly don't know what to expect from the film, and it's a rare and precious position to find myself in.

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38 Comments

combat_honey

11/12/2017 12:05:29 pm

I'm in the same boat. I spoiled myself silly over The Force Awakens (I think I knew about Han's death at least three months before release) - mainly because I didn't have much faith it'd be any good so I didn't really care.

But given how much I liked TFA I'm trying not to give into my urges this time. That hasn't been *too* hard so far, as like you've said, they've managed to keep a tight lid on things. But I'm worried that something will slip through before Saturday and then I'll be compelled to find out if it's true or not and then in doing so spoil the entire film for myself...

Nick

11/12/2017 12:12:04 pm

Spoilers don't really bother me. The idea that things have to be enjoyed fresh and untainted has always struck me as rather odd. I keep quite around others obviously.

I quite like what Disney have done so far. I never had any interest in Star Wars beyond the films so getting rid of the other canon stuff was fine by me.

Seeing it at the BFI Imax between Christmas and new year. Star Wars in the mourning and Follies at The National in the evening. Smashing stuff.

11/12/2017 12:37:26 pm

Learning to bloody spell in the afternoon.

Bisckies

11/12/2017 01:27:43 pm

"The idea that things have to be enjoyed fresh and untainted has always struck me as rather odd."

Why/ how? You terminology would suggest you are aware of the thinking behind it.

11/12/2017 01:45:37 pm

Oh yeah I get the terminology. We're all interested in games and films and talk about spoilers go hand in hand with that.

I'm not really sure how to explain it. I just don't mind knowing in advance. It has never had any effect on my enjoyment on a piece of entertainment.

11/12/2017 03:08:01 pm

Oh, here's something rather odd to go along with my various other uncalled for comments.

I do have a thing about reading a book before seeing an adaptation of it. At the minute I'm avoiding watching American Gods because the book is on my to read shelf and I had to miss Tinker, Tailor at the cinema for the same reason.

It's not about spoilers, I seemed to have picked up who the mole was in Tinker before reading. It's something else. Maybe I want the authors vision "untainted" by anyone else. Weird eh?

Spiney O'Sullivan

11/12/2017 10:28:33 pm

Since there are very few film adaptations that were better than the book that spawned them, this doesn't seem too odd to me. Books have so much more time for character development and world-building that most films simply don't have the luxury of doing.

And that's before you throw in complications like studio meddling and ratings boards. You can get away with so much more in print than on screen.

Da5e

11/12/2017 12:18:31 pm

...Han Solo died? I genuinely haven't see T F Awakens (and have little interest, but still)

11/12/2017 12:36:45 pm

Yeah, turned out Greedo had a very upset family.

11/12/2017 12:46:08 pm

That was obviously self defence.

Spiney O’Sullivan

11/12/2017 01:17:21 pm

I know, it’s weird how a lot of people get very upset about their misinterpretations of that scene. I don’t get it, it’s quite clear.

Also was it just me, or was the quality of CGI on display in A New Hope very impressive for 1977? That Jabba was remarkable.

And come to think of it, how did they get a guy who looked so much like Hayden Christiansen for the end of Return of the Jedi? Maybe it was his Dad...

MENTALIST

11/12/2017 03:11:21 pm

Ah, what a scene. Han and Leia sitting in the Cantina, dialling up Don't Stop Believing on the jukebox, while Rey repeatedly fails to reverse-park the Falcon outside, until she finally succeeds, opens the cantina door and...

John Veness

11/12/2017 12:46:25 pm

Yeah, ironically I think this article would benefit from a note at the top that it contains a spoiler for The Force Awakens!

Mr Biffo

11/12/2017 01:24:07 pm

It has been two years. If people haven't seen it by now they're not going to care about Han Solo dying.

RoboJamie

11/12/2017 12:42:49 pm

Yep, I'm in the same boat, although I have learned to keep a distance from trailers and all the hype. I even avoided the 'TV Spots' this time around, so all I really know is the content of the teaser and 2 trailers, and I only watched those a couple of times each.

It's also one of the reasons I have tickets booked to the midnight screening on Wednesday night at my local Showcase - if I can see it before the majority of people then less chance of being spoiled. I want my viewing of Star Wars to be as pure as possible.

Now if we're talking any other movie franchise I'm not really that bothered. Spoil me if you want to, or I might read the synopsis on Wikipedia. But never for Star Wars.

11/12/2017 12:47:35 pm

I didn't know The Phantom Menace had good reviews when it first came out! How strange.

11/12/2017 01:05:25 pm

I imagine it’s like often happens with the games press: some company had a lot of money to throw at making sure reviewers liked their experience of the film (or the tacit threat of removing access to future ones).

Voodoo76

11/12/2017 12:56:15 pm

How old does a film have to be before spoilers aren't spoilers anymore? It was all in dream in Wizard of Oz? No way!!

Handsome Crab

11/12/2017 01:19:25 pm

A major character dies in tonight's Walking Dead? Thanks for the spoiler!!!

FFffffffnnnnnnngggggg

Cheeky lil' Biscuits the irascible scamp

11/12/2017 01:30:57 pm

I too hate people that crap all over something other people enjoy. I found the new Star Wars movie excellent and have no hesitation in awarding it 72%

Mrtankthreat

11/12/2017 01:36:15 pm

What do you make of the "spoiler paradox"? Some psychologists reckon that knowing the outcome to a story actually increases our enjoyment of it. I'm not too sure about that but I can only think of one time I was upset with a spoiler.

I accidentally read a breaking bad episode synopsis and found out about a particular event. As soon as I realised I had read further than I intended I stopped but I reckon that it wouldn't have been as bad if I had just read on and found out the aftermath of said event. If you get the full context, reading it for the first time could be just the same as watching it for the first time.

Like if someone just tells you (spoiler alert) Bruce Willis is a ghost before you watch the 6th sense that would spoil it. But if they gave you a decent synopsis of the whole film and you found out in sort of the same time frame that you would have from watching the movie then it wouldn't be as bad.

I've found myself reading the plot synopsis of movies and tv shows on wiki now as a way to find out if I can be arsed to watch them. It's way quicker than watching them for a start and if they're any good they should hold up to repeat viewing anyway.

Jackson Pillsbury

11/12/2017 01:47:51 pm

".... if they're any good they should hold up to repeat viewing anyway."

you will have viewed it once. My man, you now operate on the same level as the specimens that buy soap opera magazines, read about whats going to happen in the soap they are about to watch, then watch the soap. Might I be so bold as to suggest your viewing experience is now no longer about experiencing a movie or show but just ticking a box (which has it's own rewards)

11/12/2017 01:56:05 pm

I read Macbeth at school. Should I have not seen a production afterwards.

I'm being a little silly I know but why denigrate someone's approach to watching TV. Sight and Sound had a full plot synopsis of every film they review (they may still have I haven't read it in a while) were their readers box ticking specimens?

Mark Kermode the great 50s rocker

11/12/2017 02:11:28 pm

I'm speaking like a bloated bumbling toff for the purposes of comedy/recognising the inherent pretentiousness in my post, but you see the difference between reading a play then going to see it performed, and reading basic plot points of something then passively watching it unfold?

Nobody creating any of these works is going into it with the mindset that everyone will have read the plot beforehand. The idea is you are surprised by the events on screen, the creator of whatever it is will have taken the timing and pacing and context of the impact into consideration so that it 'hits' with the desired effect.

Sitting there going 'Thingy's going to die. He is, I know. Maybe this is the bit. No, this bit... OH HE'S ONSCREEN! Oh, nope, different scene. Maybe he'll die in the next bit...' is a distraction at the best of times, and it virtually guarantees that the scene in question will not meet its intended purpose.

11/12/2017 02:48:38 pm

I was in the process of writing a whole thing about how it's not really viewing but I couldn't get the wording right so I just said I'd leave it, people will get what I mean and yet here we are. Ah well.

Anyway, I don't think it's quite the same as those soap opera people because they are definitely going to watch the soap. I more than likely won't watch the thing I just read about. Maybe that is a box ticking thing, but for me it's the time saving aspect. There's too much stuff to watch.

There are things that I won't read about because I'm pretty sure I will like and hope to watch like The Wire or the new season of Black Mirror. However I also won't read about stuff I know I'll have no interest in like Game of Thrones or The Walking Dead just to tick the box but for stuff I'm on the fence about I might read about and then decide if it's worth watching and if it is having found out about it doesn't seem to affect my enjoyment of it, especially if it's good enough to stand up to repeat "viewing". (Should have just done that in the first place)

11/12/2017 02:53:33 pm

Sorry, I didn't get the joke implied by your tone. My Macbeth line was also supposed to be self knowingly pompous.

I know your right about the creatives. And, as I've said above, I can't explain why I don't much care about spoilers. I just don't.

The spoiler paradox study mentioned by Mr Threat is quite interesting though.

Pompous Pete

11/12/2017 03:45:12 pm

MrTankThreat - I see and I agree, I read movie reviews because I like reading them, but only the ones I probably won't go and see. If one of them sounds good and I go to see it, it's probably the technical aspects I'm going for anyway.

Nick - I see and I agree, I'll look into the spoiler paradox thing but I'll wager it's based on pleasure centres in the brain and fulfilling their arbitrary needs, ie. 'ticking boxes', as opposed to experiencing something that might leave you scared or confused or angry, but which would then resonate to offer something unique. But I haven't read it at all at this point and am having a grumble anyway

11/12/2017 03:38:29 pm

"Sitting there going 'Thingy's going to die. He is, I know. Maybe this is the bit. No, this bit... OH HE'S ONSCREEN! Oh, nope, different scene. Maybe he'll die in the next bit...' is a distraction at the best of times, and it virtually guarantees that the scene in question will not meet its intended purpose."

That was the point I was making with the Bruce Willis thing. If you just find out a thing with no context that's a spoiler. A properly written synopsis will tell you when the guy dies. Certainly any of the ones I've read are well laid out. Maybe it doesn't bother me because I write scripts myself and have read tons of scripts and treatments and I enjoy experiencing a movie in that way.

Salacious Crumb

11/12/2017 04:33:04 pm

After reading that the director supposedly protested at the content of the trailers for giving away too much I haven't watch or heard a single second of the new one so i am going in colder than a wampa's salad and i am more excited than one of those little black box robots that wheel around the death star picking up batteries or whatever, look a bit like an electric pencil sharpener, you know the ones

Biscuits

11/12/2017 05:01:37 pm

I go into everything like this! All I know about BotW is that there things called guardians, and it rains, and you have a bow

Things really are way better like that

James Walker link

11/12/2017 11:49:05 pm

Bruce Willis is a ghost all along.

12/12/2017 12:05:53 am

Well, thanks for that. I was just having a quick read of these comments before sitting down to watch Die Hard. Guess there’s no point now...

Waynan The Barbarian

12/12/2017 12:29:48 pm

LOLZ

Bryan

12/12/2017 11:22:43 am

I am also on an cull from most things media and internet. There is no way I am having anyone spoil Last Jedi for me. I am restricting websites I browse, strictly News and Sport (here is safe as I know you won't spoil it for me and I won't read anyone else's comments this week). No twitter, no film review websites, no magazines, no newspapers. Nothing. I'm going first thing Thursday morning, so I really hope I'm ok. I wouldn't want to be the person who spoils it for me.

Keith

12/12/2017 02:45:07 pm

I’ve accidentally run into a cou0le of spoilery reactions, so they’re out there now. Be careful. Not sure how true the ones I saw are, though

James H

13/12/2017 06:10:21 am

Don’t worry. Research suggests people enjoy stories more when they know what’s coming:
https://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/news/spoiler-alert-spoilers-make-you-enjoy-stories-more

PeskyFletch

13/12/2017 04:51:46 pm

spoiler alert- bREAKING BAD IS NOT NEARLY AS GOOD AS IT THINKS IT IS

darbotron

14/12/2017 01:16:16 pm

Firstly; despite what the research reckons - spoilers don't make me enjoy things more. Definitely 100% not true for me.

Secondly, I just watched The Last Jedi and can exclusively report that it's quite long and has spaceships in it.

THE NOBLE ART OF AVOIDING SPOILERS - by Mr Biffo

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