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THE NINTENDO SWITCH: SWITCH ON OR SWITCH OFF? - by Mr Biffo

13/1/2017

109 Comments

 
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Did you stay up until 4am to watch the Nintendo Switch presentation? You did? Well, that was a bit stupid. It wasn't really worth it was it? There was nothing in there which couldn't have waited until a reasonable hour. What exactly were you expecting? What were you so excited about? Think about your life, please.

If you're reading this, I'm assuming you know some stuff about the Nintendo Switch already.

You know it's basically a portable console that you can also plug into your TV. You know it comes with two tiny joypads which combine to make one large, unwieldy joypad. You know it's a return to cartridge-based gaming (albeit little, 3DS-sized cartridges, which you will lose).

Many are speculating that it's a final throw of the hardware dice for Nintendo, following the relative disappointment of the Wii U, but... actually... no... it's too boring to continue to speculate about all that. Just read on, Papa, for my take on the latest Switch launch day deets.

DEET DEET! HONK!
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Here are some of the things announced by Nintendo last night:

  1. Release date: March 3rd.
  2. Price: £279.99-ish (check for deals).
  3. It'll be region-free.
  4. Battery life will be between two-and-a-half and six-and-a-half hours, depending on the game.
  5. There'll be an online service, but you'll have to pay (obviously). For that you get one NES or SNES game every month - freely accessible for one month.
  6. You can network up to 8 Switch consoles together.
  7. The controllers come in different colours.
  8. There's a share button, to capture screenshots. 
  9. There'll be a classic controller available.
  10. It features 32GB of extendable storage (for saves and downloads).
  11. 50 developers are working on some 80 games.
  12. No specs confirmed. Though it does have a 1280x720 resolution touch screen.

Here are my thoughts on all of that:

  1. That's soon!
  2. That's too much! Way more than predicted.
  3. Don't really care.
  4. That's more likely to be closer to the two-and-a-half, I'm betting. Not great.
  5. 'Kay. But why don't you get to keep the games indefinitely?
  6. Nobody will care.
  7. Nice.
  8. 'Kay.
  9. Good.
  10. You'll be extending that then.
  11. Yeah, sure they're aaaall going to be classics...
  12. Only rubber Johnnies care about specs.
PACKED LAUNCH?
For me, the single most important thing to get right with Switch was the launch games.

Nintendo is being a little cagey over who's getting what when, but it's fairly certain that Zelda: Breath of The Wild will be a launch title in most, if not all, territories. That's good. What's less good is that it's possibly the only major game that'll be available on day one. Indeed, depending on who you listen to, we might be getting just four games on launch day.

There's also 1, 2, Switch (a party game, which uses the Wiimote-like motion capabilities of the Switch controllers), Skylanders Imaginators and Just Dance 2017, but details beyond those are a little thin on the ground.

Nintendo is instead talking of a "launch window" - which will span until the end of this year - during which we'll also see Super Mario Odyssey, Splatoon 2 and Super Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (a new version of the Wii U title... hmmph). 

It's hard to find highlights among third parties - Super Bomberman R could be fun, but it's difficult to work up too much enthusiasm regarding Skyrim (a six year old game), Sonic Mania or, y'know, Snipperclips: Cut it Out, Together.
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LIGHT SWITCH
The sense I got in the run-up to last night's Switch reveal is that people were hoping for the best, and not really contemplating the worst.

There are a lot of Nintendo apologists and defenders out there, I've noticed. There are those who seem to stick up for the company at every turn, but they need to wake up.

With this announcement, Nintendo has done the bare minimum it needed to do to avoid the Switch being an immediate disaster. Obviously, because I'm so brilliant - especially when it comes to knowing all about running a major video game company - I would've done it much better.

Here's what I would've wanted from the Switch launch:

A £200 launch price, at most.
Zelda on day one. 
Mario on day one.
Another big, legendary, Nintendo IP on day one - say, F-Zero, or Pilotwings, or Metroid... or something brand new. All these games were new once! There's Arms coming later in the year - a Punch-Out!-style boxing game - but it feels rather like a B-list Nintendo game.

That's it. That's all I think it would've taken to get everyone interested, from the off. Just three games, but make sure they're your best games.

I don't care about its tech specs. I don't care about third-party support. I don't care about the networking up to eight Switch consoles together. And nobody else will either. A new Nintendo console needs to be affordable, and it needs Nintendo games that people recognise - not Just Dance 2017, for pity's sake.

DIS NAE GOOD
Nintendo is the closest gaming has to Disney. Imagine if a new Disney theme park launched, and there was just one major, E-ticket Disney-themed ride, plus a ride based on, I dunno, Space Chimps 2, and a bunch of stage school kids dancing in the car park, flashing their white teeth, and performing cartwheels.

You've got to invite people into your park, and the way to do that with a console is through games - and brands - which they recognise and want to play. Nintendo is not doing that with Switch, and it's beyond maddening. 

I have no doubt that the new Zelda is going to be brilliant. What they've shown of Super Mario Odyssey looks brilliant - with its new hat-based gameplay (though I've got reservations about its Sonic Adventure-ish real world setting). I'm sure Splatoon 2 will be great. The Switch itself, despite my initial doubts, actually looks like a rather lovely little machine.

Nevertheless, that's not enough. It simply isn't. Again: it needs the games. All the games! Nintendo needed to come out with the most impactful, aggressive, win-over-all-the-doubters, launch in its history. Instead, it's just Nintendo being the Nintendo we've sadly become accustomed to, and based upon this evidence, Switch isn't going to do the business that Nintendo needs it to do.

For me Nintendo has become that friend whose life is gradually spiralling out of control, one bad decision after another. You can see where it's all heading, and you try to help, and you give advice, but they don't listen.

​There are enough hints of the person they used to be to keep you hanging in there. Then one day, in frustration, you eventually snap, end up grabbing them by the shoulders, and start shouting at them, but still it does no good.

Ultimately, sometimes, with people like that... the best thing to do is walk away.

FROM THE ARCHIVE:
​10 NINTENDO WII KNOCK-OFFS THAT WERE BETTER THAN THE WII U
​
NINTENDO: LIFE BEFORE MARIO - A HISTORY
SEGA DESERVES TO ROT - BY MR BIFFO
109 Comments
Bryan
13/1/2017 09:11:18 am

You know, that Nintendo Switch control pad could be a contender for the worst transformers list

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Nin
13/1/2017 09:36:17 am

Great, I'll pass on Final Fantasy VII, Red Dead Redemption 2 and The Last Of Us 2 for this. Said no-one ever.

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James of the North
13/1/2017 12:31:14 pm

I'd very, very gladly swap all of those for that new Mario game.

Still gonna hold out for a price drop, though.

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Nin
13/1/2017 01:20:49 pm

Those are only 3 of the many games that won't be coming to the Switch. Fine if you can afford a 2nd console, but if you can't, you follow the games.

Kara Van Park
13/1/2017 09:49:06 am

Too dear, not convinced there'll be enough games. I'll use my money to pick up a Wii U and the handful of decent titles it had when the price tumbles.

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Matt link
13/1/2017 10:05:27 am

It's a shame, the concept of a continuous gameplay at home or on the move was something very appealing to myself, but I'm left feeling a bit, well, meh after the conference. As you rightly say, not enough Nintendo IPs and why would I buy any 3rd party titles that are more than likely going to be a much better experience on say the PS4 Pro or Xbox One S. I feel the switch needed to compete in the home and / or offer lots of unique, exclusives on the move.

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Steve
13/1/2017 10:12:22 am

£280, plus £65 (!) for a proper controller. Fuck. That.

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Alastair
13/1/2017 12:29:56 pm

Sadly agreed, looks like the Wii is where I end my fanboi life.

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Plops
13/1/2017 10:14:34 am

I love Splatoon, but not that much.

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Adam
13/1/2017 10:26:53 am

I'm a Nintendo fanboy. Here's my review.

Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, excellent, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, interesting, sh*t, sh*t.

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DEAN
13/1/2017 10:33:01 am

"Ultimately, sometimes, with people like that... the best thing to do is walk away."

'We call it, sharing the joy!'

I loved it and was so thrilled by the new Mario game I had genuine tears of 'joy' in my eyes!!!

Release all your biggest games at once and slit your own throat on the price?
What you're suggesting would be an act of desperation and though from your perspective, desperate times and all that, I think I'd play this the same way as Nintendo.

1 - It's gonna preorder itself out - price cuts later.
2 - A major Nintendo release can effectively relaunch the machine each time - depending on each title, another wave of fans can be dragged in.
3 - The Switch looks like it's going to get lots of cool 'new' games (Mario Kart aside) and I think Nintendo are dropping the 3DS too - just one console to produce games for and mobile phones. Should be lots of great games and that's what's going to make the difference.

Negative Nancy -

Battery life sounds atrocious.
Screen resolution sounds a bit 'mY fIRst tABleT'.
The online subscription / Plus / GOLD / Me Too thingy just sounds completely delusional.

BUT, all that is little picture bullshit.
If they can capture people's imagination with that 'look into my eyes stuff', console-idate (I know) home and handheld users under one big red umbrella and make Nintendo seem relevant again (Universal Studios and iPhones/iPads etc) then this could be one of their most successful products to date.

The kid's got some potential!

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Carlos Nightman
13/1/2017 10:57:03 am

Yes, yes, a lot of things - some good, some bad, some worse. One thing which was announced afterwards on Nintendo's site was those monthly free NES and SNES games were being enhanced with online functionality.... could be fun. Then again I hardly bother with online gaming.

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Mrtankthreat
13/1/2017 11:08:46 am

I think the Switch reveal is great news. It's clearly going to fail and Nintendo will finally go third party. Hooray!

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Adam
13/1/2017 12:43:36 pm

...... and then it'll be left to Microsoft and Sony to innovate. Oh dear lord...

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Mrtankthreat
13/1/2017 02:34:37 pm

Meh. Their best innovations come in their games not their hardware. Not anymore anyway. For their last "innovation" they inflicted waggle controls on the world for which they should be eternally shamed. Besides they could still release controllers or unique control methods on someone else's console.

Adam
13/1/2017 11:02:57 pm

Would you not count 3d without glasses or a separate game screen as "innovations"? Btw, that's a genuine question.

Look at any console pad now and they all owe a massive debt to Nintendo. Also, doesn't / didn't the Playstation controller have some sort of motion control? (inspired by Nintendo).

It would be a sad /dark day if Nintendo left the hardware business.

But then again I'm just a Nintendo fan boy.

Matthew Long
13/1/2017 11:40:55 pm

If Nintendo become a software-only company I suspect they will wither and die like Sega. We need them to succeed as hardware manufacturers to retain their unique voice. The sad thing is, from what I've seen the Switch actually looks like a really good machine. It's just so frustrating that Nintendo seem incapable of learning from their mistakes as far as launching and marketing their hardware goes. As Biffo says, you just want to grab them by the shoulders and shake them, force them to see sense. At the very least, they need to slash that asking price. Far, far too expensive.

Mrtankthreat
14/1/2017 05:48:40 am

It's because I'm a Nintendo fan that I want them to be third party so I can still play their games that I love without having to splash out on a half arsed under powered gimmicky console with a lack of third party support. And as I said there'd be nothing stopping them from making new control schemes and controllers just for their games but on someone else's console if they still wanna insist on going down that route.

As for 3d without glasses, how well did that even work? You needed to be in a sweet spot and even then it was annoying. Whenever I played a 3ds I turned it off. It was so useless they had to bring out the 2ds.

As for the Wii U pad I was sceptical from the beginning. You can't really look at two screens at once so I didn't see what the pad could do that a pause screen couldn't. Some people like the whole playing on the pad instead of the TV but it's not for me. I have big screen TV. Why would I not wanna play on that.

In the past thry were anazing. They pretty much single handedly saved the whole industry. In recent times though they've been lagging behind. The Wii's success was a false dawn. They've been slow to embrace online gaming and hd and their recent innovations are mostly gimmicks that even they couldn't figure out how to get more than two games out of and unable to sustain any sort of long term interest in. Look at Pokemon go even.

Rich
13/1/2017 11:26:56 am

Agree in part.

£200 is very wishful thinking, that's peanuts nowadays. If it wasn't for the rumours of that price, I don't think there'd be many complaints at £280. £200 really?!!! don't be daft.It's not 1990 anymore.

People pay a small fortune on iPads and the like just to read attention seeking Facebook posts ("hugs hun") and watch Netflix.

If Breath of The WIld is the only AAA launch title, that is dumb. Should've been fairly easy for them to at least port some of the Wii U titles that people wanted to play, but wouldn't buy the console to do so.

I doubt I'll be subscribing to play online, for me this is a console I'll mainly use as a handheld playing solo (ooo er missus!)

The Joycon thingies look quite impressive once they've got that strap thing on and with their HD rumble. Even when they're stuck to that square whatsitsname it'll be alright. Looks big in the pics but that's misleading, unless all the people we've seen using it have got freaky huge hands.

I think I'll get one around Christmas time (mistletoe and wine) when there's a few games available.

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Mr Biffo
13/1/2017 12:20:28 pm

Yeah, they'd make a loss on hardware at that price, but I think that's a sacrifice they need to make at this point. With that pissy launch line-up nobody is going to get excited at a £280 machine.

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Mickey Mouse the cartoon character
13/1/2017 11:38:45 am

The price is WAY too high. I get that it's an exciting new thing but that price is absurd. For the same price as the console and a useable controller you could very nearly get a VR-ready PS4.

And yeah, the line up is sorely lacking. A new gimmick Mario might be OK I guess, but the addition of a character that helps you out and travels with you reminds me of the dismal FLUDD from the mediocre Sunshine. And it's very, very weird that Mario is roaming around with more realistic humans now

I think you are wrong about people not caring about third party support Mr. B. - indeed it's been the main complaint of the Wii and WiiU (well, that and how underpowered they were, which, given the tight-lips regarding the Switch's specs, does not bode well).

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James of the North
13/1/2017 12:55:42 pm

Super Mario Galaxy had a character living in Mario's hat to give him new abilities. This seems to be much the same idea. It's just a plot device to explain the gameplay, don't let it bother you.

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Mickey Mouse the terrible bastard
13/1/2017 01:45:45 pm

The character in his hat in Galaxy was so superfluous I didn't even remember it until you mentioned it, it barely appeared. I guess Sunshine and that terrible ending feat. FLUDD is still irritating to me. I'd played through the whole game with a mild but growing sense of disappointment, and the ending was the nail in the coffin. If his hat just sits on Mario's head for the duration, and goes all bug eyed and wacky when Mario finishes a stage, before sinking back into a floppy, inanimate state, okeedokee.

He's far preferable to Rosalina though

John Veness
13/1/2017 11:45:26 am

I think it looks great, although I probably won't get one for a year or so (I might break when Mario is released). Price is high but I think that's mainly due to the low pound since EU ref. :-(

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Rubber Johnny
13/1/2017 11:46:32 am

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SPECS?!!!

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Scott C
13/1/2017 11:49:54 am

Looking at the child-sized controllers, and other characteristics of the Switch, I am beginning to wonder if we are the ones who are "wrong" about the future. Nintendo has always been a toy company, and toys are mostly aimed at kids. Maybe, just maybe, they have got it right by going for their core audience, and we grown-ups just have to accept that we have outgrown Nintendo toys and our childhood Nintendo nostalgia is never going to be revived. It is perhaps quite telling that I sold the last Nintendo console that I owned (a N64) when I was 18.

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Mr Biffo
13/1/2017 12:17:52 pm

But a toy is exactly what I do want from Nintendo! I just don't see that this one, at least for a while, is going to have enough on it that I want to play. I can only think that they're holding back the other Triple-AAA first-party IPs in order to force everyone to buy Breath of the Windy-pops. BUT! It's also going to be available on the Wii U, so... it all seems a bit dumb to me.

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Scott C
13/1/2017 01:16:18 pm

I know, I know, don't make me cry. I am just trying to soften the blow by making excuses to myself! I fired up Mario Galaxy via Dolphin on my new 1440p monitor last night using a proper Wii controller/Nunchuck to have a "quick look" to see what it was like using 3D Vision.... it was glorious and so absorbing; two hours disappeared.

nip-nips
13/1/2017 11:57:34 am

First time in decades I've been underwhelmed by the games on offer. Zelda looks empty and has a horrible tired hollywood cinematic, overly emotive, generically soundtracked facade. Mario in the 'real world' sandbox was just repulsive and lacked any imagination, unlike the highly imaginative Galaxy gems. Splatoon without the ability to touch-warp to your teammates is just terrible. In the Switch version, you have to press X--thereby stopping the game, identify which teammate you want to go to, look for their button symbol, find the button and press it. Ridiculous. The loss of a second screen in such a game is a spectacular retrograde; you just looked at where your desired teammate was and touched them while in game. Slick and efficient.

The equivalent to the amazingly designed nintendo land / wii sports hardware showcase game (1-2-switch) looked fairly dire. Nintendo land was an underappreciated utter gem. Immediately accessible as a brilliant party game, but the solo/co-op had incredible depth which was hard as nails to achieve master rank like games of old, and you really saw trying how brilliantly it had been designed.

We were spoiled so much with such incredibly high quality games on the Wii U (not that most people noticed) that the Switch seems so weak. I've got every Nintendo console (amongst others) wired up under my TV next to my master race PC, but I can't see a Switch joining them for a few years at least... fortunately I have a large backlog of games I've still yet to play.

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Spiney O'Sullivan
13/1/2017 05:36:07 pm

Something really jarred with me about putting Mario in a real-world city. I was very glad to see it go back to surrealism shortly after.

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Spiney O'Sullivan
13/1/2017 06:43:24 pm

Addendum: it may have been the vague reminder of Super Mario Bros the Movie.

Darcy
13/1/2017 12:15:52 pm

"A new Nintendo console needs to be affordable, and it needs Nintendo games that people recognise - not Just Dance 2017, for pity's sake."

Contrast the sales figures for Just Dance with F-Zero, Metroid et al. I think you'll find that there are more people interested in the former than the latter. Combined.

This, of course, is one of those awkward positions Nintendo finds itself in: gamers are stuck in their (wait for it!) echo chambers, oblivious to just how niche their favourite Nintendo franchises are.

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nip-nips
13/1/2017 12:17:44 pm

Lisa Simpson: "You'll never go broke appealing to the lowest common denominator"

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Mr Biffo
13/1/2017 12:23:54 pm

Yeah, but Just Dance is just one game, also available elsewhere. Switch doesn't have the power under its hood to be able to compete on the same level as the PS4 and Xbox One when it comes to porting over the other billion-selling franchises. Either it needs to be able to, or it needs to be better, or if they're going to be stubborn and give it the specs of a really good portable system, it needs to offer something different games-wise than just the same games available elsewhere.

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Kara Van Park
13/1/2017 02:23:41 pm

If their IP is playing second fiddle to shallow, third-party ephemera, their console is redundant.

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nip-nips
13/1/2017 11:05:16 pm

This is exactly why the Wii U had such great software by the end; Nintendo had to carry the console single-handedly. An impressive achievement I can't see any other company pull off looking around. With a 3rd party crutch, I can't see the console being anything like as dripping with software cream.

Mrtankthreat
14/1/2017 05:59:41 am

That's the thing. They make great games. Imagine how many more great games they could make if their entire budget was just spent on games instead of under powered consoles.

nip-nips
14/1/2017 10:15:51 am

Their later generation games have been as good as they are because the have (unlike most 3rd party games) been designed very well specifically about their hardware ideas. The switch has no such ideas (that some called gimmicks without understanding what that means), and the software already is showing signs of relative stagnation. Another big reason for this gradual stagnation is alas due to the exceptional talent that have built nintendo in the last 3 decades getting near retirement and passing over much of the development responsibilities and development direction to younger people, who while still talented, are only merely above average it would seem. This is why skyward sword was not considered one of the better 3D zeldas, and why the new Mario has weird things in it, with a 'galaxy'-like sounding, heard-it-before not-distinctive soundtrack devoid of the traditional Kondo lyrical and emotive magic (same with Skyward sword too). It's a sign of Nintendo's future with merely good staff rather than the elite and exceptionally rare. Merely above average games as a result.

Placid casual
13/1/2017 12:30:00 pm

What wveryone seems to forget about the battery life is as its usb powered u can attach one of thise portable phone chargers for handy extra juice.

All in all I was slightly underwhelmed but will preorder for new Zelda, Mario and Splatoon2. Plus the promise of plenty more quality 1st party titles.

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Nintendude
13/1/2017 12:30:24 pm

The big miss for me is the lack of Virtual Console news. If they announced a subscription service of around £7 a month with access to at least their Nes and Snes libraries I'd have been on board day one. As a Wii U owner, the wait between new releases would have been felt less if I could have sixteen bitted in the meantime. As it is, I'm afraid I'm done with buying copies of games I've owned multiple times on multiple platforms again.

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Gentrification Derek
13/1/2017 01:54:33 pm

Paid online sucks but was expected, however only giving out one classic game, and the ridiculous stipulation that you can only own it for one month, is the most risibly pathetic and insulting 'reveal' of the whole thing. Even Sony beats that on their worst months, of which there have been many

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Picston Shottle
13/1/2017 04:31:14 pm

The paid online is absolute shite. Compare it to Xbox Live - 4 games a month, which you get to keep for as long as you subscribe. OK, there are some duds with Games With Gold, but there are also some older AAA games, and some great lesser known games too. Which are not 20 odd years old and not available via any number of emulators... Unless they have some better ideas for paid online that they have yet to announce (and, you know, Nintendo games, at least the ones we all love, are all single player) then this is gonna fail big time because right now it is looking massively overpriced.

gaijintendo
13/1/2017 05:23:04 pm

Yeah: Library of games from the back catalogue, then I am in. Free for just long enough to get somewhere then the game disappears... that is charging money to piss me off. Boo

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Wicked Eric
13/1/2017 12:30:26 pm

The connecting 8 together thing seems random in the UK but apparently it is really important Jn japan, where people meet up with their portables to play Monster Hunter (which is fucking massive over there) cooperatively. At least for up to two and half hours I guess?

But yeah, too expensive, too little games. Nintendo stop hitting yourself in the face please.

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Darren link
13/1/2017 12:37:51 pm

And that was Nintendo putting its head in the noose, stepping up onto the wobbly chair and waiting for the wind of change to do the rest...

Never have I seen a gaming technology company so out of touch with what's happening in gaming. Yes, specs are boring, but they also enable you to deliver Triple-A titles. Whereas Nintendo wants you to pay top dollar for titles fuelled by whimsy and lacking any depth.

They learnt nothing from the Wii and Wii U. Again, instead of looking at the culture of gaming we have now, they insist on doing something "different" - but different doesn't automatically make it good or right for the market. Who wants to play Skyrim on the bus? No-one. Who wants to piss about with fiddly little Joy-Cons (do you feel joy-conned? - the jokes write themselves) and if you have kids, those little controllers are going to go missing. Trust me - I've spent a fortune on replacement styli for the 3DS.

"Hey, you can take pictures of your gaming and send them via social media...and we'll get around to game streaming some other time..."

"We'll have a online system a bit like Xbox Live but we won't reveal any details or pricing because we haven't really worked all that out yet...but you can play some old games you've already bought ten times over for a month".

Then there's no Mario Kart or Mario game at launch... FFS - that's your USP for Christ's sake - the one thing that will guarantee any interest in your new console. But yes, we have Zelda that you can play while waiting in the launderette for your undies to be washed because you spunked over £350 on a Nintendo Switch and game instead of buying a new washing machine.

But don't worry, your mobile phone will be more powerful than the Switch and have a longer battery life, but you'll be too busy wondering where you left the other half of the Joy-Con controller. Did it fall down the back of the sofa or did you leave it on the tube train? Oh my...this is 21st century gaming.

If only you'd have bought the add-on lanyard at launch, but then they never had them in stock and the one they did have was the wrong colour and didn't match your eyes. But look, here's a game that you can play by looking at your opponent...who has the fastest reaction times in a series of hilarious reaction-based mini-games. Or you could save all that money by just playing "Slapsies" or RockPaperScissors.

Meanwhile, Sega, EA and the other third party developers all stood on the stage and mumbled looking at their shoes because their dog had eaten their homework or sumfink and had nothing to show the public...

Fuck me...and the fanboys out there are still lapping this shit up. I do wonder if I've suddenly fallen into an alternative dimension where everyone has gone stupid. How long did you play those Wii games with granny? How long did you tire of the oversized Wii U controller, which was woefully underused by games developers? Do you really want to feel two ice cubes in a glass of water via high-definition haptic feedback?

The question is: how off their tits on dugs were Nintendos hardware team when they came up with this giant crock of poop?

And here's a similar thing in video form about the Nintendo Switch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQBRhz_g-PI

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Nin
13/1/2017 01:12:00 pm

It's just sheer bloody mindedness at this stage. Despite all the evidence, they've decided they can open up their own market away from Sony, Microsoft and the developers. They are totally oblivious that as they shout "We're not competing with the big boys", their potential customers all shout "Yes you bloody are and you're losing".
What's frustrating is the utter stupidity of their position. In an era where console exclusives are rare, the company with the best catalogue should be king. Literally all you have to do is stick a Nintendo box over a PS4 engine and, with those Nintendo exclusives plus AAA titles, you've won. But no, Nintendo are too stubborn to do something so easy.
"Never compromise, even in the face of Armageddon"
* Watches Nintendo get vaporised *

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Darcy
13/1/2017 01:28:28 pm

"with those Nintendo exclusives plus AAA titles, you've won"

That explains the Gamecube's stonking success!

Oh, wait...

You know what will sell the Switch, though? Pokemon. And it won't need PS4 graphics to do it.

Nin
13/1/2017 01:34:05 pm

The GameCube failed for the same reason the Switch will.

Mrtankthreat
13/1/2017 05:51:08 pm

The gamecube had the worst 3d mario and a subpar Zelda, neither of which were available at launch. It also didn't have Grand Theft Auto or Pro Evo (ISS 2 was brutal in comparison) which were massive. The PS2 also out Nintendoed Nintendo with stuff like Okami, Ico and Shadow of the Colossus. So the gamecube didn't have full third party support and it's own IP games were of a lesser quality.

Kara Van Park
13/1/2017 02:27:06 pm

A brutal take-down. Bravo, sir.

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Kara Van Park
13/1/2017 02:28:21 pm

The above reply was intended for another comment, but the website borked. Could you delete, pls

Kara Van Park
13/1/2017 02:29:25 pm

A enjoyably brutal take-down. Bravo, sir.

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Kara Van Park
13/1/2017 02:30:12 pm

Did the exact same thing again. I give up.

Mr Biffo
13/1/2017 05:32:53 pm

This is too adorable! I'm going to leave them as is. X

Brian King
13/1/2017 12:56:50 pm

As soon as zelda was announced for the wiiu i ran out and bought one, this is a mistake that im bitterly disappointed in making. I thought to myself with the games drought that ninty has had for the past year and a bit this launch was gonna be spectacular and it certainly is that.

Its been a while since a console arrived with so few games and a eyewatering price compared to what the world expected but i expect it will be a case of history repeating.

I know a lot of core nintendo fans that are quite angry about all this but it just wont learn, the way it communicates with its fans is also disgusting.

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Scott C
13/1/2017 12:59:28 pm

PS/ Has anyone else seen the Switch version of Bomberman; so far that is the only game that I have seen that is truly suited to the format. But would you pay £280 + £70 x X controllers for that experience? Probably not.

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Clive Peppard
13/1/2017 01:43:38 pm

Im not Switching from my PS4

(see what i did there??)

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Scott C
13/1/2017 01:53:49 pm

You misspelt "I'm"?


:op

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antony adler
13/1/2017 02:46:33 pm

I think you're all mad about the price. It would have been £249 if it wasn't for brexit causing sterling to collapse to levels not seen in decades, don't blame nintendo for that, all imports are now 10-15% higher than they'd have been. Such squealing and entitled screams of dismay because it's not £199 with a million launch titles (coz that's how it works with everyone else. not). I've long dreamed of a machine that can go out of the house with me but still play full titles. 720p will be perfectly enough for HD gaming. I can use it for the approx hour to work and hour back again. If I run into trouble, I'll be able to easily charge with USB-C on the go and carry right on when I get home. Delighted. Yes the monthly 'loan' of a game is crappy, yes the accessories sound a bit high priced (again see brexit for £10 additional cost now), yes I'd love more games, but I suspect the Switch will actually do pretty well and will quickly herald the death of the 3ds, leading to more and more switch titles over time. God, but the bleating with the comments here, you'd think it was armageddon.

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Joshua Stollins
13/1/2017 03:56:33 pm

Everyone seems disappointed that Nintendo are sticking with the same tactics that have hurt them in the past, I don't see any Armageddon business

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Paul
13/1/2017 03:00:48 pm

You know what? I like the look if this thing. Problem is us it's showing Sony what it should be doing with the remote play thing they have going with the PS4 & Vita.

You see: I like the detachable screen and portable necebess it does. Drop it into the dock and it becomes a TV console. For me, that pushes a lot of "this is good" buttons.

But it's Nintendo, who always seem a generation or two behind the other consoles in terms of graphics. The Game Cube (which I like and still own) seemed to be less graphically enriched that the Sony offering of the same vintage. The Wii seemed similarly backward (the voices tell me that this was a re-engineered Game Cube).

So I worry that the "in the flesh" graphics may seem less advanced than other consoles. Maybe this time the fact that it's portable may be a factor.

Still, I'll look again when I see a real one. Will I buy one? Who knows.

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John Veness
13/1/2017 03:14:14 pm

Actually, out of PS2, original Xbox and GameCube, the PS2 was the least powerful, with GameCube and Xbox around equal top.

The Wii, though, was certainly much less powerful than Xbox 360 or PS3, and Wii U less powerful than Xbox One and PS4, so you're right that recently that is the case, just not in the GameCube era, or prior to that for that matter (NES, SNES, N64 were all top or near-top of their respective generations).

Indeed, as the PS2 won that generation with the least-powerful console, I wonder if that influenced Nintendo to purposeful not make the Wii too powerful, and thus keep it cheap.

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T-Wigs
13/1/2017 03:16:56 pm

The GameCube was graphically more powerful than the PS2 equivalent at the time, yet the PS2 obviously sold more. It was from that point on that Nintendo had no interest in competing graphically and started the path they are still following now.

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Nin
13/1/2017 03:26:13 pm

Graphics and power are only useful if you have got the games to take advantage of them. The GameCube marked the starting point of 3rd party developers abandoning Nintendo. Obviously the PS2 DVD player also did significant damage.

Bolos Diswellay
13/1/2017 03:57:39 pm

I wonder how much of that was due to them releasing a purple fisher price cube, when PS2 looked like a scary VHS player

Spiney O'Sullivan
13/1/2017 04:00:22 pm

Technically the launch of the PlayStation marked that.

Fumble Buck
13/1/2017 04:15:06 pm

"The Game Cube (which I like and still own) seemed to be less graphically enriched that the Sony offering of the same vintage"

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Why do people keep repeating this stupid fallacy?

The GameCube was way more graphically capable than the PS2. This is not opinion, it is scientific fact.

For some reason people seem to make assumptions based upon the Wii, or from crappy ports from the PS2.

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Spiney O'Sullivan
13/1/2017 06:16:52 pm

These people clearly don't remember Rogue Leader or Resident Evil 4. The Gamecube had more going for it than the PS2 on the graphics side.

Nick
13/1/2017 03:02:50 pm

Well… Erm…

Cards on the table. I am a Nintendo Fanboy. I’ve owned every home console and handheld (including the Virtual Boy after getting drunk with Ebay as a student). I love the Wii U and have never once regretted buying it. I will most likely buy the Switch.
I am also one of those annoying people who don’t believe that Nintendo has to compete with Sony and Microsoft. They can stand apart, relying on their first party titles, supported second and third party games (Bayoneta 2, Xenoblade etc…) and their appeal to the young uns. It wouldn’t be my only console and I can get AAA games elsewhere. As another commenter has said, when Nintendo stepped into direct competition with the Game Cube they got beaten, badly.

So far so predictable

But. I don’t know what they are doing with the Switch.
There was a massive 280 pound elephant in the room (that’s pretty small for an elephant, abnormally so, but I do love a metaphorical idiom) as they made the announcement. It’s too much money for what it is and as it’s Nintendo we can’t expect a price reduction during the lifespan.
The specs aren’t released and we don’t really care because we’re not rubber johnies. Except I do. A bit. The Switch will most likely be less powerful then the PS4, but why. Sony is able to sell the PS4 slim with a game for around £200. Amazon is able to sell a tablet with a 720 screen for £50. Nintendo employ a legion of industrial designers. I know they want it small but the disk and hard drive must be taking up a lot of space in the PlayStation. I’m sure I’m simplifying too much and being deliberately obtuse but I just want them to do better, and, I want more for my £280.

The games. Where were they? It’s just repeating Mr Biffo and the other commenters to say that this is a waste. Nintendo has the most coveted IP in the industry and refuses to utilise it. It makes me sad.

So there we go. I will buy it. Maybe at the end of the year or the beginning of next, but this whole presentation has left me cold. I’m reminded most of the Xbox One launch announcement with its long list of features, games and price nobody wanted.
I’m sure I’ll love what games are, eventually, released for it and this may sound like a long winded self-entitled whinge (is a self-entitled whinge in fact) but I loved this toy company and I want to love their toys.

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T-Wigs
13/1/2017 03:29:26 pm

I think its all the tiny bits of technology that they packed into the joy cons that have bumped up the price. This could prove to be a major mistake as it seems that these are the things people are generally least interested in. With the Wii the focus was on the "wiimotes" and I was surprised myself to see that there was such focus on the joy cons in the presentation. I think of the Switch now as a more advanced portable Wii than a more advanced portable Wii U, which most people were expecting hence the understandable disappointment.

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Nick
13/1/2017 05:00:16 pm

I guess your right about the tech in the joy cons (I like that name even less then Wiimote) and it does seem a mistake to concentrate so much on the controllers.
Hey, maybe with all the Wii vibes your getting it will turn out to be a massive sales success and we'll all look a bit daft!

Super Bad Advice
13/1/2017 03:26:17 pm

I don't know whether it's because I had optimism flakes for breakfast, but I thought it all looked pretty good.

One big launch title plus 1, 2 Switch (essentially the new Wii Sports) and a couple of other oddments is fine as long as there's something else big V. soon - people can usually only cope with one AAA massive game at a time, so launching 2 at once would mean 1 was inevitably classed as a failure. Plus - if sold right - that bizarre punching Arms game could turn out to be a bit of a hit (no pun intended). Hopefully someone at Nintendo is already organising some celebrity punch-ups for YouTube etc.

Controller-wise, you get the plug-in central jobby in the box which essentially turns the 2 side bits into the pro controller when you slot them on, so no real need to buy another one. Battery life could be better, but 3 hours for a Zelda session was quoted and that's not too shabby - plus they've FINALLy opted for charging with normal USB rather than some stupid proprietary thing, so there'll be power sources everywhere.

Price-wise, I'd hoped for £250, which I expect it'll hit pretty soon after launch and (funnily enough) is pretty much the price in dollars. $299 bucks is a pretty good deal though - we're just shafted by Brexit stupidity tagging on an extra 30 quid or so.

I dunno. I might all be wrong, but this seems a lot more like the buzz about the Wii than the massive 'huh?' the Wii U generated. And lest we forget, the Wii outsold the PS3 and the 360, and by a fair margin, AND was more profitable to boot. I can see this being the second console of choice because it's genuinely something different - and coming mid-cycle, where a lot of people won't be bothering with a PS4 Pro or Xbox 1 S (or Elite - I forget what the new more powerful one is), it could carve itself a niche.

Or it could crash and burn. Still, we could probably all do with a bit of cheering up so fingers crossed they pull it off eh?

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T-Wigs
13/1/2017 03:36:09 pm

As I stated in another reply above, I am also getting massive Wii vibes off the Switch. Even the Zelda situation is uncanny!

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Mr Biffo
13/1/2017 05:29:52 pm

I think it's going to do better than the Wii U. It's not going to do Wii business, though. Nowhere near.

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Mr Jonny T
13/1/2017 03:46:28 pm

I pre-ordered it... I think it looks pretty good...

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Matt Alexander
13/1/2017 03:59:28 pm

If Apple/Goggle/Acer/Tomy released a tablet that could play games this good, that came with two controllers, a dock for your telly and motion controls, everyone would think £279.99 as pretty darn good value for money.

Call it a games console, however, and people perceive it to be expensive. I think it's actually a bit odd that a device that will last 5-6 years is expensive at £279.99 where as a phone that lasts 2 years isn't despite costing in many cases, over £1,000.

I think the price is fine, but I agree that there seems to be a dearth of launch titles. I also worry that given the uncertainty over Zelda making it in time for release, there's a chance it's been rushed to market so they "at least have a Zelda game for launch."

I've pre-ordered one as I am a huge Nintendo fan. I make no excused for that. The Wii U is my favourite of all the consoles I have, because there's an excellent (albeit limited) catalogue of truly excellent games you can't get elsewhere.

If Switch lets me play Zelda and Mario on the bus/train/plain, I don't care if you can't play Black Ops 48.

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Mr Biffo
13/1/2017 05:28:36 pm

For me, it's not that it's expensive or not... it's that it's too expensive for what Nintendo needs to achieve with it. They simply cannot afford to rest on the laurels like this. Switch needs to be massive, and they needed the launch to be a statement of intent that they've learned lessons from the off. Hit with a powerful machine at an aggressive price and with launch line-up that scares the shit out of Sony and Microsoft, and brings everyone back on board who buggered off after the Wii. I honestly don't know what they were thinking. It's beyond disappointing - it's maddening. First impressions count, and they've made a terrible one.

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Spiney O'Sullivan
13/1/2017 06:21:43 pm

To be fair, if Apple released anything for under £300 it's a miracle.

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Brian Dennehy
13/1/2017 04:44:34 pm

it is repeatedly blowing my tiny mind that they are not bundling that 1 2 Switch game with it...every time i think about it i go through half a pack of kitchen roll

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Picston Shottle
13/1/2017 04:47:31 pm

I'll buy it, but only when there's more to it than Zelda.

I love Zelda, and Mario and Mario Kart, and if they add Pilotwings into the mix too, and they were the only four games I ever released for it, it would be good enough for me. But...I'm in my 40's and have disposable income (not enough disposable time, sadly) and I am not exactly the demographic Nintendo is aiming at, at least not from the marketing we have seen, which leads me to ask who this console is actually aimed at?

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Fumble Buck
13/1/2017 05:04:13 pm

The 3 takeaways I have from the switch conference:

* I'm more excited for Zelda:BotW than ever.
* Suda51 can trainwreck a presentation like no-one else
* The Switch is unfortunately going to die from starvation because no-one but Nintendo is going to support it.

The dev kits have been about for like a year or something, and yet none of the 'big boys' have announced anything concrete. All of the 3rd party guests got up said a bunch of empty compliments, followed by vague, half-hearted announcements that something might be announced at a later date.

Even Ubisoft didn't bother to pretend that they were on board this time like they did with the crappy Red Steel/Zombi U.

You're going to get a bunch of crappy ports of old games that everyone already owns along with some rushed-out 'concept' games. This will be followed by complaints that games don't sell on the Switch, and the abandonment of the platform just like the Wii U.

It's a sad shame. I like a lot of what Nintendo does with its systems. The Wii U's off-TV play is a beautiful thing (which I miss on Playstation and XBox), and having the chance to continue games on my commute would be awesome. However, I think that I'm in the minority.

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Super Space Hero
13/1/2017 06:44:04 pm

On the subject of Ubisoft, for just a MOMENT (we're talking about a second or two here, during that bit near the end where they showed flashes of game footage), there was some Rayman gameplay, so...I guess SOMETHING is coming from them for it?

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MrDrinks
13/1/2017 05:20:01 pm

Going for a paid multiplayer service on this seems like an idiotic decision for Nintendo, the free nes/snes game per month on top just manages to make it sound even worse.

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Chris
13/1/2017 05:48:21 pm

I'm cautiously optimistic. I think the price will come down after launch, just like the 3DS (which I bought for full price, grr, not making that mistake again).

I like the look of some of the announced games.

I will probably buy one, but not immediately.

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Meatballs-me-branch-me-do
13/1/2017 06:06:49 pm

I don't see how or if this will replace the venerable Wii as the "console in the living room for spontaneous fun or when a friend whom you dislike shows up with cuntspawn in tow".

Really. Where's the Wii Sports Bowling and annoying mini game-riddled board games? Cartridges again? Does that mean we get to rebuy our Wii favourites from the eShop for ten times more than they cost at CEX?

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S Hawke
13/1/2017 06:20:27 pm

Sometimes I get the impression that Nintendo don't even like video games and would rather be making tractors or washing machines or something like that.

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superfog
13/1/2017 06:25:08 pm

This thing is shittier than an Atari ST, the Amiga beats them both hands down!!!

Hail Amiga, fools!

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DEAN
13/1/2017 08:20:03 pm

Wow this is a popular comments section!

No business like snow business?
Showing some Nintendo love?


----------------------The SWITCH is going to be huge----------------------


Bear with me:

Sony and Microsofts bungled attempts at a mid-cycle refresh are a disaster in the making. They are going to hand Nintendo a serious advantage - all of a sudden £280 doesn't seem so much and it will have a bigger library of games than the PS4 PRO or XBOX SCORCHIO.

All issues resolved? No????!!! Shit.

And...
We've yet to see what Nintendo have in mind for that touch screen. It's there for a reason!

Finally...
That Mario game looks absolutely awesome. SUPER MARIO ODYSSEY - even the name is awesome.
I know it's for Christmas time but even so, that's one hell of an ace.
The hat has eyes and you can throw & jump on it. FFS what do you people want!

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DEAN
13/1/2017 08:33:56 pm

Forgot to add -

The END of scratched disks!

Hello, 'have you looked down the side of the sofa?'

Shit...

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DEAN
13/1/2017 08:54:50 pm

Mr Biffo - that's a lovely piece of artwork you've done of Shigario!

Here's one for you:

(£[:O{))

Smelly
16/1/2017 11:50:51 am

Ps4 pro is already cheaper...

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DEAN
16/1/2017 12:40:37 pm

Is it??

Exactly my point.

S Hawke
13/1/2017 09:39:21 pm

I wonder if Mario ever leaves his eye hat behind the toilet bowl in Princess Peach's bathroom.

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DEAN
14/1/2017 12:48:16 am

Perhaps he'd forgotten it after being elbow deep in her Saniflo.

I don't know why but I imagine Peach is a bugger for not descaling her macerator.

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Scott C
13/1/2017 09:52:48 pm

Here are a few of my Nintendo faves:

(3[:O{)) (L[:O{)) ():o()) (卐[:O-|)

Wario Waluigi DK Hitler

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DEAN
13/1/2017 11:52:50 pm

Great, Scott!

The Hitler one is absolutely brilliant and I'm not even going to ask you about the swastika!

( 8 [ :O{{)

With the new 'eyes hat'!

*<[:o\

Link

<:3[ ]----

Zelda dungeon rat

( oO)
| |

1up Mushroom

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Scott C
14/1/2017 12:01:33 am

Shame about this website "deleting" repeated spaces (noticed that in my post), otherwise the shroom would have looked lovely!

Scott C
14/1/2017 12:09:14 am

Also,

(☭[:o{)

Stalin

DEAN
14/1/2017 12:12:54 am

I know but if you just imagine it's going really fast....
A happy accident!

I love the phrase 'happy accident'.
I like to think the exactly appropriate time to use it is if you shit yourself after being hideously constipated.

DEAN
14/1/2017 12:20:56 am

Scott, you'd'man!

Do you do requests?

Charles Manson? Another use for your swastika thing...

DEAN
14/1/2017 10:06:33 am

I'm not sure my funny and clever (funver) use of the phrase 'happy accident' really landed and so I'd like to take it further by using it in a sentence.

Before I do I'd like to go on record with the following statement: When something as serious as discussing why the Nintendo Switch is going to be a commercial failure for its parent company, it's important that we don't lose sight of our shared responsibility to make this a fun place and not another 'dry hole' on the net. Some people here (you know who you are) are digging your own po-faced graves.

This in no way is to help thrust this series on comments into triple digits.

HAPPY ACCIDENT FEAT. 007

Someone's happy - I thought you were constipated?
And you're walking funny....
Have you had a happy accident, Mr Bond?
Oh, James ...

Nip-nips
13/1/2017 11:00:11 pm

Interesting how Miyamoto uses the term "casual gamers" which Biffo et al. coined back in the Digitiser days. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmV1JY4Tl9o

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David W
14/1/2017 10:58:43 am

I think Nintendo might have a clever plan:

1. Make big margins from people who will buy the Switch regardless.

2. Make some games for it.

3. When production starts to exceed sales, release a non-portable version. Something like the Ouya, which retailed for £99, and also used a Tegra chip. Even at £149, I expect lots of people would buy a non-portable Switch as their second console.

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Scott C
14/1/2017 02:55:52 pm

In a way, that is kind of what they did with the 2DS version of the 3DS.

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Dan link
14/1/2017 11:52:58 am

I, for one, am looking forward to this new-fangled 'Super Nintendo Entertainment System' thing. They say it will have teletext mode 7 and everything.

-- Lumme Baygo, resident of 1992

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DEAN
14/1/2017 01:40:53 pm

So anyway, I've just been in town and I went into GAME.
I asked the member of staff serving me (I consulted the Oracle, if you will) what interest in the SWITCH was like....

"Loads of preorders already and every other customer is at least asking about it."

Like an Asian giant hornet up Mario's dungarees (put there by the ever playful sadist, Miyamoto-san), the SWITCH is creating a lot of buzz.

I recall hearing about a chap on here who got some Nintendo shares for Christmas - I think I'd put that order in for a Learjet now if I was you.
And don't go cheap on the spec - burl walnut and calf skin throughout. Nice.

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PeskyFletch
14/1/2017 08:57:14 pm

If it is just some random GAME worker and not someone you know i'd be wary of trusting his word, i've seen them try to offload some right bobbins to clueless parents before. He mighta been trying to hype you up into a pre order.

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DEAN
14/1/2017 11:30:39 pm

Fletch!

You make a reasonable point.

This one time I remember overhearing them try and sell insurance for the PSVR.
A direct debit for £4.50 a month (I think). I winced at the thought of that but was sick into my own mouth when the person was told that their contents insurance wouldn't cover it because their insurance company wouldn't know what a PSVR was!
I caught the 'mark's' eye and shook my head - I didn't want to cause a scene but at the same time had to raise the alarm... albeit a silent one.

I remember when they went bust (kinda) and left the store managers to tell parents that their gift cards were not being accepted (it was in the lead-up to Christmas, if my memory serves me right).
I never understood the loyalty those brave souls showed... such valour!

GAMESTATION was way better. Except all the ones I ever went in always smelled bad.... might have been me.

*PARP*

DEAN
16/1/2017 02:47:41 pm

Preorders are going well, MCV is reporting.
Zeitgeists eh?

But yeah, early days... The pudding eating will be how many people get excited about what looks like the best new Mario game in years this Christmas. Not gonna be a hard sell...

Imagine Mario crossed with GTA. A bit less swearing, sure, but you can get off your face on mushrooms and touch the dancers in PEACHY PALACE.... probably.... Bowser even looks like a massive pimp this time around!

"Bowser don't play no shit."

http://68.media.tumblr.com/0ac5a6c3ef6a550a280aab1791d1f85e/tumblr_ojpd1txEp51rrftcdo1_1280.jpg

Indeed!



Reply



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