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THE NINTENDO FANBOY IN ME STILL LIVES - Mr Biffo

28/2/2017

46 Comments

 
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I'm a monster. You see, I've been lying to you, and to myself.

Something you need to know about Digitiser2000 is that I try hard to be a realist on here, isolated from hype or prevailing trends. I try to say it as I see it - from a dispassionate, unemotional place - and if I sometimes don't pull any punches, such as when - say - the Nintendo Switch launches with just one Triple-A game, then that's just me giving you what I think Digi exists for. 

I mean, it's sort of the USP of Digi, and always was. "We hate everyone equally" was the Digitiser mantra, and part of that is because it's easier to be funny when you're laying into something. Plus, people enjoy it. It's the car crash mentality, which makes things such as this go viral.

But the truth is... I don't hate everything equally, and never have. I really have been lying to you and to myself all these years. In fact, Nintendo... Nintendo I don't hate at all. Like, even a teeny, tiny, bit.

Oh, I might get frustrated with them, in the same way you can with anybody you love, but Nintendo is mine. Like so many other gamers of my generation, I've got an almost absurd affection for the company, its games, and its technology. I has a place in my heart where Sony, Microsoft, Sega, and all the rest don't even get a look in.

Much as I've tried to stay true to the Digitiser ethos with the Switch, and its undoubtedly rubbish launch line-up, the real me has - increasingly - gained strength. Consequently, I'm now so excited about the Switch that the other night I even had a dream about unboxing one (although, I'd forgotten to buy any games - read into that what thou will...).
FANBOY GENE
​It's kind of frustrating that, despite my best conscious efforts to the contrary, I still have that fanboy instinct in me. For all my grumbles, the double-whammy of new Nintendo hardware and a new Zelda game has me all lathered up and lewd.

Alright... it's not blind loyalty; I didn't get a Wii U when it came out. I waited a month or two, and then I caved. My disappointment with that system has managed to keep my enthusiasm in check this time around, but as Friday's launch has creeped closer, I've found my resistance faltering.

I've begun doing that thing where I sort of fantasise about playing on it - and the fact that the Switch does new things has only fuelled that. I want to play Zelda in bed... I want to play multiplayer Bomberman with the little Joycon controllers... I want to smugly remove the Switch from its base station, and carry on playing when other people ask to use the TV.

Maybe the negativity - though I prefer to call it realism - I've been displaying until this point has been down to trying to protect myself from disappointment. I mean, we all do it. If we're too optimistic - whether it's about, I dunno, Christmas, or a relationship, or a holiday, it makes us vulnerable.

I got burned by the Wii U, and that mattered to me because it was my beloved Nintendo doing the burning. Consequently, until the last couple of days, my defences have been raised.
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REIGN DOWN
It has become so clear to me that I'm not alone in feeling like this - there are so many other Nintendo fanboys and girls out there, who have tried to reign in their excitement because of the Wii U, because of that tepid launch line-up, and they've failed.

Some things that we love are just like that I guess, and it makes me wonder just what Nintendo would have to do in order to destroy my loyalty.

When I think of Star Wars, not even the prequels could stop me loving the potential of Star Wars as an idea. Nintendo is the gaming equivalent of that for me; because Nintendo showed me just what games can be, I will always live in hope that they'll manage it again.

Indeed, so blind is this optimism at its core that I really have to work hard to peer through it. Whereas I think I've become pretty good at predicting the ebb and flow of the games industry, when it comes to Nintendo it's more of a challenge. 

It's not just that my optimism paints everything with rose-tinted spectacles, but that I'm forced to question whether what I believe is what I really believe, or actually what the Nintendo Fanboy who lives inside me believes. 

See, because at the moment I think the Switch is going to be a hit. I think that even with the crappy day one launch line-up, Zelda, the hardware... they're so different to anything on the Xbox One and PlayStation 4, that it sets the Switch apart. It makes it a genuine alternative to the endless parade of first-person shooters, and Ubisoft-style map-moppers, and overwrought sub-Dungeons & Dragons RPGs. 

But I say that with this caveat: right now I don't know if that's what I believe, or whether it's what I want to believe. Sat here, just a few days before I finally get my hands a Switch, my critical judgement has gone right out the window. 

FROM THE ARCHIVE:
LET'S TAKE A CHEEKY LOOK AT THOSE NINTENDO SWITCH LAUNCH GAMES!
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OLD SCHOOL ELECTRONIC GAMES WERE RUBBISH
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A "TRIBUTE" TO THE WII U - BY MR BIFFO
46 Comments
Paul
28/2/2017 11:39:38 am

I’ve run out of HDMI ports on my telly.

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damarrin
28/2/2017 12:45:09 pm

Get a switch.

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Meatballs-me-branch-me-do
28/2/2017 06:36:39 pm

I see what you did there.

wunk
28/2/2017 11:42:20 am

Very boring to say it, but I agree with this totally Mr B and it's EXACTLY how I feel about Nintendo.

I've got a feeling the Switch will be a big hit, but stating the obvious, a console is only as good as its games.
As someone who doesn't game that often these days either it's all about quality over quantity for me. So give me a brilliant Zelda, Mario, and Mario Kart and I'll be set.

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Superbagley
28/2/2017 12:12:25 pm

Actual Factual question - is a console only as good as its games? The Xbox One and PS4 seemed to do really well in their opening year even though (as I recall) they were full of PS3 and 360 remakes and very little good new content.
I'm not trying to discourage new games, I want new games - I find the launch line up for the Switch upsetting.
I just wonder if Johnny Public might just buy things because they're new pieces of technology or so they can boast to their friends Billy No Mates.

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DEAN
1/3/2017 10:08:05 am

It's an interesting question but I fear the answer may be less so.

I think graphics are still a massive draw and once a machine has the reputation of being graphically superior, it usually works well for it.

That and a Playstation or Xbox carries very little stigma. They're so ubiquitous by now, almost like a DVD player.
Nintendo, and god knows I love 'em, are seen as being a bit kiddy, they often look a bit like a toy, or for total gaming geeks. Not at all sexy or out of sight (I don't mean 'out of sight' as in 'cool' I mean invisible).

RichardM
28/2/2017 11:51:37 am

I foolishly watched a video about the new Zelda and want to buy a Switch now solely to play Zelda, but new kitchen going in and further mouth to feed in t-minus two months make it an impossible dream. Unless I just play it in the car, while driving to work..?

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wunk
28/2/2017 12:07:42 pm

Why not? The number of Darwins I see on their phones whilst driving, may as well up the ante a bit.

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Spiney O'Sullivan
28/2/2017 12:28:44 pm

Nintendo fanboys are lucky. For all their company of choice makes frequently confusing decisions, they've survived up to now on the strength of key brands generally kept at high quality (and, let's be honest, more than a little luck). Their nostalgia gets to be enjoyed with the hope that the company will do something in future that will make the fans feel like they just got a SNES again. Nintendo fans get hope, while as an ex-Sega fanboy, if you don't like football spreadsheets or RTSs, all you get is the Sonic cycle, the odd mediocrity or outright debacle like their Marvel games or Aliens Colonial Marines, and people assuming you're a furry.

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Clive Peppard
28/2/2017 12:33:38 pm

I totally get this, its how I feel about the Playstation.

I bought the 2 the moment i left university and had money from getting a job. I got both the 3 and 4 at launch, because why wouldnt I?

Ive gone to war with egg boxers on petty detail that is irrelevant, often whilst being knowingly wrong.

Consoles are tribal and while you may have diplomatic ties to other tribes you always belong to that one tribe that you first truly embraced.

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wunk
28/2/2017 12:36:36 pm

My real beef with Nintendo is how, for the last few gens of consoles, they wilfully underpower them. I'm mainly a PC gamer these days and a full on graphics whore. I know that gameplay can (and should) trump visuals, but why can we not have both please Ninty!?

With the amount people spend on smartphones and tablets these days, surely a higher specd GPU and more aggressive clocking wouldn't have cost that much more and put the Switch in a price bracket that wouldn't sell?

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jawa
28/2/2017 12:43:38 pm

I suspect that I won't have too many supporters in saying this... but I was far more positive about the launch of the Wii U than I am about the Switch.

The U's launch line-up - whilst not stellar - was, in my view, far better than the Switch's. The first major titles for Switch (Zelda, Kart 8 and Splatoon 2) are all takes on stuff that can be played on the U. Even as a Nintendo fan, I struggle to see the appeal in splashing out £330 to play a slightly improved version of Zelda, a mediocre release schedule and little major third party support.

But, hey, I do get the appeal of new kit.... it is always tempting. This just feels like it has been released too soon.

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DEAN
1/3/2017 09:55:31 am

Logical and well reasoned your comment may be BUT this:

Playing Zelda BOTW on the Wii U is like farting in the bath and calling it a jacuzzi.

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S Kank
28/2/2017 12:50:32 pm

I feel like I want to be a Nintendo fanboy, and every time a new console gets announced I get excited and think it'll be my jumping in point, and then the technical details and games release schedules are leaked and I think "oh well, maybe I'll try the next generation..."

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Roy (Stuart N Hardy fan)
28/2/2017 01:18:57 pm

I'm with Mr B all the way. I'm an unashamed Nintendo fanboy. Well I'm slightly ashamed at my age 'n' all.
I still love the PlayStations. Had no end of fun with them all. A couple of the x boxes too but in all my gaming years (I was there right from the start), there's no-one can touch Nintendo when they're on form.
Well that's what I think anyways.
And I'm never wrong.

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NDrinks
28/2/2017 01:19:59 pm

Seeing the word "Ninty" still annoys me as much as it did in the 90s.

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Roy (Stuart N Hardy fan)
28/2/2017 01:29:32 pm

'The big N' too.

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Meatballs-me-branch-me-do
28/2/2017 06:38:40 pm

And people who pronounced it "Super Ness"

Trevor cod
1/3/2017 12:27:36 pm

You've got 'Nindy' games to get your goat now too...

Gordon Ramsay's furrowed brow
28/2/2017 01:42:56 pm

Nintendo are basically ripping open your throat (wallet) and pi$$ing down it (emptying the fore mentioned wallet.
The reason for the underpowered hardware since the Gamecube days is Nintendont (see that there kids?!) insist on making a profit on EVERYTHING they sell, especially the hardware.
How much did MS and Sony initally lose per console back in the PS3 / 360 wars? $100 per machine?
Nintendo couldnt sustain those loses even if it wanted to, so it didnt. It put out a machine it could sell at an acceptable (to the punter) price, and the only way to do that was put out old tech.

Even now, nvidia have confirmed the chipset in the Switch is in effect being discontinued and the console isn't even on the shelves!

Users should be asking themselves just how long are they willing to have the pi$$ taken out of them by a company who seemingly antagonize their can base at every turn?
Just WHEN does it become too much to take?
Do those controllers cost any more than a tenner to make if you order a million plus, yet look at the price.
As for the games line up. I'm convinced they are all sitting in a board room sniggering and placing bets as to just how few games can they get away with releasing and still selling out.
How they haven't yet "done a Sega" God knows.
Wake up people.......

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eyeprodder
28/2/2017 02:15:50 pm

LOL CAN BASE

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Spiney O'Sullivan
28/2/2017 02:36:45 pm

Just to clarify, is your main complaint here that Nintendo insists on making a profit because it can't afford to sustain a loss?

If anything, you just inadvertently justified a pricing strategy that I had previously considered unreasonable...

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Gordon Ramsay's furrowed brow
28/2/2017 03:55:36 pm

Typing on a mobile in the back of a taxi with a predictive text that has a mind of its own is a lethal combination.......
No no I'm just saying that yes, Nintendo can't compete with the big 2, but don't take the pi$$ about it. Make the console a few quid dearer if it allows you to add an extra gig or 2 of ram etc, just don't....how can I put it, put out consoles with such a low spec at such a high price.
What's the percentage uptake of additional controllers going to be at THAT price?
Its just crazy. Yes make a profit, but don't rub our noses in it.
Nintendo should have done a Sega by now and it's only it's die-hard fans that have stopped it happening.
You can't keep taking the pi$$ with the people who pay your bills.
One day they will have had enough.
Thats all I'm saying.

lilock3
28/2/2017 02:01:48 pm

As a huge Nintendo fan, I have to say that the Wii U has been one of my favourite consoles ever and I now regret not getting one in the first year. For me the GBA, DS and original Wii were Nintendo's lowest points - and I'll admit that's probably a controversial thing to say, but I've come to learn that my own options rarely follow the mainstream.

I don't intend to make the same mistake I make with the 3DS and Wii U again - I will be picking up a Switch within the first year.

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Crackler
28/2/2017 04:01:01 pm

Unfortunately, because Nintendo's rare talent staff are being replaced with mere adequacy, nintendo's better games are behind them. Disturbing interviews recently discussing the internal training going on to pass the buck to a younger generation of developers.

I think you felt burned by the Wii U because you don't do PC gaming. Most of the third party stuff you like on PS4 is available on PC (and done much better). So PC gamers didn't notice its absence on the Wii U and could thus focus on the premier first party titles on there and it's great local friend party games. We just can't get enough of Nintendo Land for example. An underrated timeless classic when you really try to get master rank on the levels.

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antony
28/2/2017 04:49:34 pm

Lol at the comment "their better games are behind them" - from words trickling in, the new zelda is an absolute drop dead classic. Not bad for a launch title.

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Alastair
28/2/2017 04:48:46 pm

What a curmudgeon I must be if I've become disenchanted with both Star Wars and Nintendo in recent years.

Funny that it's for different reasons, the Switch will surely have a few different games of quality over its life, Disney Star Wars too many films of low quality over its life.

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Spiney O'Sullivan
28/2/2017 06:29:08 pm

Did you just miss the prequels completely?

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Meatballs-me-branch-me-do
28/2/2017 06:42:14 pm

The prequels didn't kill Star Wars for me, Force Awakens did.

I enjoy my 3DS and the occasional bash on a Wii but no Nintendo full size consoles have held my attention for any length of time since the N64.

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Spiney O'Sullivan
28/2/2017 07:39:37 pm

I'd agree that The Force Awakens was very much a retread, but but after three films that can be summed up as "dire", "actually worse than The Phantom Menace", and "I think this is a bit better but it might be Stockholm Syndrome", the first Disney film had the rather difficult of task of reminding people why they even liked the franchise.

Now, if The Last Jedi feels too familiar, that will be a real problem.

That said, I pretty much agree on the Nintendo consoles. The last one I really thought was really consistently brilliant was the N64.

Panda
28/2/2017 08:05:09 pm

I'm in a similar boat and I regularly go from being absolutely infuriated with Nintendo to really, REALLY wanting them to make me want what they've got to offer. I'm fed up saying "there's always next E3" or "there'll be a better Direct video closer to Christmas" but I keep coming back to variations on that theme.

Before January, I considered the Switch reveal event to be their last chance before I officially deemed Zelda to be my Nintendo swan song. And yet I'm still keeping a close eye on the Switch despite the big problems I have with the price, the 2017 line up and, above all, the refusal to provide proper long term reassurance in terms of big projects on the horizon.

It's the fact that I get so infuriated with them that confirms how much they matter to me. I've enjoyed my PS4 massively but Sony's failure to woo me - which happens semi-regularly - would merely be met with a shrug of indifference. So although I carry that same Nintendo love, it can also mean I hold them to higher standards and expect more of them, so there's something of a balance there, rather than just trying to spin everything positively when they don't deserve it.

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Dangerous Dave
28/2/2017 11:29:08 pm

After this evenings Indie Reel, I'm even more excited for the Switch. Roll on Friday!

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I Don't Understand The Hype
1/3/2017 01:58:48 am

Dear Mr B, after buying into your hype about No Man's Sky and dealing with the resulting dog mess I paid a large sum of money for, I'm afraid I can no longer trust your opinion on matters such as these.

Please return to publishing articles on spoons instead, where your Nintendo zealotry will not be so rampant. Thank you.

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DEAN
1/3/2017 09:52:36 am

It's so true, something about Nintendo just puts a spell on you. There's probably lots of reasons why that is or may be the case, but for me at least, I think it's because Nintendo were my first understanding of how something could be better than you ever expected. It was being able to tangibly experience a masterwork and Nintendos fruit never struck me as being cynical at all. They're a business, sure, but they go above and beyond to push forward a vision of gaming excellence and realise that ambition with consistent aplomb.

Now I'm older I still think a lot of that but have some new perspectives.
Places like CEX that sell preowned Nintendo games seem to keep the prices of much of their stuff really high. We're all boringly aware of the most basis tenet of business, supply and demand. My insight is that people who buy Nintendo games keep them longer and this keeps the preowned market in a state of low supply. People also really want Nintendo games and that's why even now CEX are asking £20 for Mariokart for the original Wii.

You might say that's because less people buy them in the first place but that's not really true with the Wii or 3DS and even so all things must be relative.

Gordon Ramsay's furrowed brow remarked how they can't understand why Nintendo have not 'done a Sega'.
Assuming that's not just being obtuse, I think it should be obvious.
Nintendo are not Sega. Sega are cynical bottom feeders that had a spell of luck. Nintendo are pioneers that can and do make games that inspire gamers and the industry as a whole.

Anyway, I enjoyed the article and I don't think there was ever really any doubt that you (Mr Biffo) are a Nintendo Fan; I don't think anyone can make a declaration of their love for video games and not be.

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Roy (Stuart N Hardy fan)
1/3/2017 05:28:44 pm

Couldn't have put it better if I tried.
Wonderful stuff!

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Pablo Watsoni
1/3/2017 11:14:22 pm

I think it's perfectly possible for someone to declare their love for games and not be a Nintendo Fan.

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DEAN
2/3/2017 02:39:26 am

Thank you, Roy - your kind word's made my day!

Pablo, I think I know where you're coming from, that the question here is if someone can appreciate something without actually being a fan of it.

If you LOVE games and you don't enjoy playing Nintendo games then you're wrong. Objectively and categorically.

That sounds arrogant and I don't mean it to - games, when you get right down to it, are ultimately very simple. When you strip away all the skins and whathaveyou and get to the very heart of a game, nobody bests Nintendo. There are some other great creators, absolutely, but if a person claims to love games and they recognise the extraordinary craftsmanship of a typical Nintendo game and yet don't enjoy playing it first-hand... No, that doesn't add up to me.

I think the onus is on you now.

Pablo Watsoni
2/3/2017 12:31:58 pm

Dean, I can't really oppose your assertion personally, as I do appreciate Nintendo games. I own a 3DS and a Wii U and I love several of their games. It's just that your comment reminded me of a few people on Amazon who berated anyone for not giving David Bowie's last album five stars. Love is an entirely subjective thing, in my opinion, and although I don't know of anyone who holds this view (i.e. not appreciating Nintendo) I am sure there will be people out there who do feel that way. I suppose it's possible some will hold that view just to be different or controversial, without having given them a chance. Anyway, I like your passionate argument. I just believe that there will be people out there who do love games and don't love Nintendo above all others and they are not wrong for holding those views. My argument would be stronger if that person was me, but it isn't.

DEAN
2/3/2017 01:22:12 pm

Thanks, Pablo.

I can get a bit carried away, sure, it's hard not to because I genuinely do get all excited when talking about Nintendo.
That said, I don't think it's necessary to love them the best.

David Bowie 5*s or else? I'm really not that bad; I'm more an evangelist than an extremist!

Pablo Watsoni
2/3/2017 02:40:28 pm

Yeah, possibly a bit harsh with that comparison. Sorry. I imagine they were frothing at the mouth while re-educating the poor, misguided fools in the art of Bowie appreciation. If he'd have recorded the sound of himself farting into a cup they'd have proclaimed it the work of a genius.

DEAN
2/3/2017 03:15:47 pm

Haha! True enough, it can get pretty wild out there and online reviews at places like Tip Advisor can be unintentionally hilarious.
I considered writing a review about a stay at the Mushroom Kingdom...

Weekend at The Mushroom Kingdom - ****
Lovely view across the greenery and were lucky with the weather - Toy Story perfect skies.
Would have been 5*s but there was a lot of drain works going on in the surrounding areas and one afternoon we witnessed a workman throwing molotov cocktails at some fungi. We think he was foreign.

Roy (Stuart N Hardy fan)
2/3/2017 04:49:06 am

Kind words but true.
As I've said before, there's no-one can touch Nintendo.
Most of my greatest gaming moments have all come from them..Super Mario World and F Zero on the SNES, Super Mario 64, ZooT Star Fox 64, Wave Race 64 (I love arcade racers and this one has yet to be bested in my opinion), GoldenEye. Then there was Super Monkey Ball, that Star Wars game, Luigi's Mansion, Metroid Prime and Sunshine. Not forgetting Resident Evil 4 and F Zero GX on the Cube.
And I'm missing so many other classics. Alttp for starters.
There's no-one can touch 'em.
They're the best.

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Roy (Stuart N Hardy fan)
2/3/2017 05:26:10 am

And I've got a family and a big f**k off mortgage.
That's why I'm up this early.

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DEAN
2/3/2017 09:27:18 am

But Roy, as a Palace season ticket holder I think I'm safe in assuming that you live in the UK. You're up insanely early! Mortgages and kids, I can relate to that!

I used to play the original Zelda on the NES over-and-over again, probably to the point of obsession. Even now, anything to do with that game has me reaching for my wallet - like Pavlov's cat.
Point in case, I was in a shop recently that had little toys of 8-bit Link in his three different colours. I bought them without hesitation and have no idea what to do with them. They're in a bag.

I'm sure you've heard about Nintendos partnership with Universal Studios:
http://www.nintendo.com/whatsnew/detail/universal-parks-and-resorts-and-nintendo-will-bring-the-fun-of-nintendo-to-life

I love the thought of those places being filled with hysterically happy middle-aged men.
See you there!

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Roy (Stuart N Hardy fan)
2/3/2017 09:58:06 am

Dean, indeed I am. I'm no longer a South East London boy by about 50 miles. And I've always been an early riser. It comes with the territory - I've a small firm. It pisses the old woman off, which is a plus!
I hadn't heard of the Universal partnership. We were in Florida 3 years ago but are going again next year and I can't wait. I'm the worlds' oldest teenager apparently.
I've tried to teach junior the ways of Nintendo but he doesn't care.
It's Fifa or Call Of Duty or nuffink!

Roy (Stuart N Hardy fan)
2/3/2017 05:36:05 am

Me and the boy are also Palace season ticket holders so that's a cheer up then!

Reply



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