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THE MOST SHAMELESS DONKEY KONG RIP-OFFS EVER

8/2/2017

14 Comments

 
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For some reason, the 1980s and early 90s were a time when ripping off intellectual property was the given thing - especially when it came to video games.

In fact, it's a practise which continues to this day, albeit it slightly more disguised terms. Why, were it not for games playing fast and loose with copyright laws we'd never have had the Resident Evil series. Lest we forget, the first game in that franchise shamelessly "played homage" to Infogrames' Alone in the Dark. Imagine how the creators of that game must feel.

Or don't.

​The choice is yours.

Still. Never mind. One of the first, most notoriously - oh-hoh! - aped games ever was Nintendo's original arcade classic Donkey Kong.

​Here are but ten dubious attempts to recreate that Nintendo magic without being sued.
KONGO KONG (Commodore 64)
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In Victory Software's Kongo Kong players controlled a "fireman", who apparently lived in some sort of circus tent.

The kidnapped "beautiful woman" - a weirdly-proportioned blonde who looks as much mantis as female - is here depicted as being beneath the ape; in Donkey Kong she was imprisoned at the gorilla's side.

Perhaps this was so that Kongo Kong can express his dominance and power by urinating on her. You know: like presidents do.
CONGO BONGO (arcade)
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It's a little remembered fact that Sega released its own Donkey Kong "tribute" in the form of Congo Bongo. Of all the games on this list, this is the one which veers furthest away from the original Kong - by adopting an isometric viewpoint.

Alas, this rather pretty game didn't translate too well to home systems (although check out the ape: he got da moves...!).
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MONKEY BUSINESS (Atari ST)
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Despite being called Monkey Business, there were no monkeys or apes to be found in this game. Presumably, the creators thought that they could get away with claims of plagiarism by changing the antagonist from an ape to a big fat man in green trousers. Also: the beautiful woman is here portrayed by Rupert Grint holding a blue briefcase, while waiting for a bus, apparently.
HONEY KONG (Oric-1)
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It's worth pointing out the dubious extra pixel between the gorilla's legs in Honey Kong. Perhaps it's meant to represent his "tail". Let's hope he's not about to produce some "honey".
KRAZY KONG (ZX Spectrum)
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Famously terrible, Crazy Kong nevertheless features the happiest ape on this list. Although, given the graphically shameful world into which he's been placed, quite what he has to smile about is anyone's guess.
KONG (ZX Spectrum)
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One of the first games I ever bought for my Spectrum, Ocean's Kong is perhaps best remembered for his visible lungs. For this reason alone, he has earned the nickname "Darwin's Contrition".
KILLER KONG (ZX Spectrum)
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A solid Kong clone - despite the ape here looking more like a blue snowman in a huff - it is perhaps best remembered for its cheeky cover artwork...
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MONKEY KONG (Tandy TRS-80)
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Colour-wise, Monkey Kong gets Mario bang-on (albeit after he's been rather overdoing it with the stuffed crusts). Unfortunately, it plays out against a neon green backdrop, which seems designed to invoke seizures.
APE CRAZE (Commodore 64)
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You'd be right for wondering what's going on with the ape in Ape Craze. Or, indeed, what is going on in the above image full stop. Further questions are raised by its title screen, which appears to depict a surprised gingerbread man holding a carton of Um Bongo.
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MARIO'S BREWERY (Commodore 64)
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Mario's Brewery didn't even bother disguising the name of the main character in this Kong clone - but it did remove the ape, and replace him with an out-of-control beer machine. Consequently, this makes for a jarring blend of imagination and sheer opportunism, but is at least consistent with Nintendo's assertion that Mario is a high-functioning alcoholic.
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
A TRIBUTE TO THE NINTENDO 64 - BY MR BIFFO
​
MAKING IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH THIS GALLERY OF WEIRD PAC-MAN MERCHANDISE WILL BE WORTH IT FOR THE LEWD JOKE AT THE END, PROBABLY
WATCH MR BIFFO, HORSENBURGER & ASHENS DO STUFF - LIVE!!
14 Comments
Reversible Sedgewick
8/2/2017 12:22:37 pm

There's a "fireman" in my "circus tent" right now.

Reply
Paul
8/2/2017 12:42:22 pm

I remember trying to write a Donkey Kong like game on my ZX81 in BASIC. The problem was that I had injured my leg, and as a result was out of my face on prescription painkillers (a heady mix of codeine and caffeine in a simple to take tablet). My efforts seemed, at the time, to be worth the effort.

It was only when I stopped taking the medications and I thought “let’s look at the Donkey Kong” game again that the next thought in my mind was “just WHAT the actual F*** were you doing‽”.

It was an unmitigated mess, the BASIC was unreadable, and the game itself was just awful, bearing little resemblance to anything that the game I was trying to ape.

I wiped the tape, and probably used it for something more productive.

Reply
Gosunkugi
8/2/2017 12:56:32 pm

I read the title of one of the entries as Honky Kong, and actually had to pause to compose myself for several minutes before reading the rest.

I've always loved that Killer Kong cover too btw, I'm of two mins whether I should photoshop actual nips to it and have a t-shirt made.

Reply
DEAN
8/2/2017 12:59:27 pm

Like the barrels, you're on a roll! Excuse me whilst I burst into song:

Roll out the barrel, we'll have a barrel of fun
Roll out the barrel, we've got the blues on the run
Zing boom tararrel, ring out a song of good cheer
Now's the time to roll the barrel, for the gang's all here

Mr Biffo, please do a list of Spectrum cassette box art. I remember always choosing my games by the adorning artwork and there were indeed so many bright and crazy covers to choose from, as Killer Kong illustrates.

Reply
superfog
9/2/2017 07:38:38 pm

That's an absolutely excellent idea, I used to like nipping into the newsagent next to the fish and chippie were we 5th formers were allowed to go at lunchtime, to peruse the computer cassettes;so many joys, such promised offered for nought more than £1.25!!!

Reply
DEAN
9/2/2017 10:08:16 pm

Halcyon days indeed!

Spectrum game box art could fill a book. Or at least one of those mental £9.99 Future publishing things they do like HOW TO SET-UP YOUR IPAD.

Ste Pickford
8/2/2017 01:38:03 pm

I'd forgotten about Congo Bongo. What a lovely looking game that was. Too hard for me though.

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Matty link
8/2/2017 08:13:50 pm

Was Ocean's 'Kong' also the one where the giant ape creature distorted all of the girders by making his legs disappear?

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RoboJamie
8/2/2017 08:28:09 pm

You seriously didn't miss the BBC B and Acorn Election classic Killer Gorilla?

That was one of my most played on the old Electron, and it took me a long time to refer to Donkey Kong as anything other than 'Arcade Killer Gorilla'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPkt5mmO-zc

Reply
Rhys
9/2/2017 02:04:45 am

The 80s were a truly weird time for IP appropriation weren't they? Acornsoft, the micro manufacturer's in-house software label, seemed one of the worst offenders, getting extremely close to releasing a game called 'Pacman' for the BBC Micro before Namco had a word. It seems the latter's IP team were placated by a change of sprite design and a title of 'Snapper', though still with the central dot-munching ghost-avoiding mechanic. You can see all the versions on sites such as Stairway to Hell.

Also: Acornsoft's Defender, later retitled Planetoid after Atari swooped. A terrific version in its own right, but hardly original.

Personally I still boggle at the release of DeathStar, a semi-official Sinistar clone for the Acorn machines, in which the object is to defeat the aliens as they take components back to their base to build a galactic superweapon. George Lucas' lawyers must have been snoozing that day.

All of which is a lengthy preamble to my favourite DK ripoff, Killer Gorilla (the 'fun' starts about 30 seconds in)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptjLXK7QFlg

Reply
Chris
9/2/2017 12:35:28 pm

I've been reading Commodore: A Company On The Edge, and in it there's talk of the Japanese schoolkids and arcade and PET enthusiasts that set up HAL Labs. HAL Labs expertly recreated perfect conversions of their favourite arcade games on the PET, and later the VIC-20 (probably the C64 too, I don't remember). Commodore ended up buying a lot of them and Atari threatened to sue. Cue minimally-altered titles and - in extreme cases - slightly different graphics. Tramiel ended up releasing the most blatent Atari clone in Europe, figuring it would take Atari a while to notice and by that time the game would have sold thousands of VIC-20s.

Video game copyright wasn't taken seriously in the late 70s/early 80s.

Reply
Rhys
9/2/2017 02:05:29 am

Ah sorry - just seen that Jamie's posted about Killer Gorilla too. Didn't mean to steal your thunder there.

Reply
RoboJamie
9/2/2017 09:11:17 pm

Not at all sir.

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Lofty from EastEnders
9/2/2017 12:37:20 pm

I'd very much like to put my kong in a certain donkey, if that's okay with everyone else.

Reply



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