Poor old The Dukes of Hazzard. When I was a kid, I thought it was simply a TV show about two good ol' boys who were meaning no harm. We now live in more enlightened times, and it has become apparent retrospectively that it was actually depicting the everyday adventures of some good 'ol racists. Their choice of vehicle, a 1969 Dodge Charger, boasted an iconic horn sound which may as well have been a dog whistle.
My generation didn't know what the flag on the top of the car represented, or that it was named after Robert E. Lee - the Confederate General who led his troops into battle for the right to continue using slave labour.
Though to the best of my knowledge there were never any explicit references to the Dukes being bad racists, or dialogue supporting the secession of the Southern States and a return to treating black people as property, modern wisdom has all but consigned the show to history. Suffice to say, many who grew up with the show are outraged at what they view as an act of politically-correct censorship.
The defence of the symbolism in The Dukes of Hazzard runs along the same sort of lines as when your mum or nan get on their high horse about the Robinson's jam gollywog; "We grew up with it, and we never realised that a grotesquely caricatured depiction of a black man was actually meant to be a black man"/"We never realised that the Confederate flag which they used during the American Civil War - a war fought about slavery - actually had anything to do with slavery."
Looking back now, it's all a bit embarrassing, frankly, and here are ten items of Dukes of Hazzard merchandise which hindsight casts in a ghastly light.
My generation didn't know what the flag on the top of the car represented, or that it was named after Robert E. Lee - the Confederate General who led his troops into battle for the right to continue using slave labour.
Though to the best of my knowledge there were never any explicit references to the Dukes being bad racists, or dialogue supporting the secession of the Southern States and a return to treating black people as property, modern wisdom has all but consigned the show to history. Suffice to say, many who grew up with the show are outraged at what they view as an act of politically-correct censorship.
The defence of the symbolism in The Dukes of Hazzard runs along the same sort of lines as when your mum or nan get on their high horse about the Robinson's jam gollywog; "We grew up with it, and we never realised that a grotesquely caricatured depiction of a black man was actually meant to be a black man"/"We never realised that the Confederate flag which they used during the American Civil War - a war fought about slavery - actually had anything to do with slavery."
Looking back now, it's all a bit embarrassing, frankly, and here are ten items of Dukes of Hazzard merchandise which hindsight casts in a ghastly light.
DRESSING UP SET
The modern equivalent of this set is a red baseball cap, imprinted with the words "Make America Great Again". Also, look at that picture of the Dukes. It appears that Luke Duke has a Post-It Note stuck to his forehead. Perhaps he's playing that party game, where he has to guess who or what he is.
Let us answer that now, Luke: you're a racist.
Let us answer that now, Luke: you're a racist.
CALCULATOR
White people/fans of The Dukes of Hazzard can use this calculator to do their taxes (unless they're the President of the United States of America; it sadly doesn't feature a tax exemption loophole button).
Alternatively, you could use it to work out the number of people that died during the American Civil War over the patriotic right to keep certain hues of human beings as slaves.
Alternatively, you could use it to work out the number of people that died during the American Civil War over the patriotic right to keep certain hues of human beings as slaves.
BOP BAG
The Dukes of Hazzard Bop Bag lets you punch a Boss Hogg, a wealthy plantation owning-racist, in the face. It's the perfect gift for any balaclava-wearing liberal!
STEERING WHEEL
"Brrmm brmmm! Look at me, pa - I'm just like you: a racist!"
PEDAL CAR
The Confederate flag doesn't actually appear anywhere on the General Lee pedal car. Fortunately, it features quite prominently on the box, with a picture of the Dukes slap-bang in the middle of it - making it quite clear that, yes, these three people like to celebrate their racist heritage!
DAISY POWER CYCLE
This Daisy Duke "Power Cycle" includes an "official DAISY picture". Yes - and look where it is: one of the biggest features of this vehicle is that you can literally sit on Daisy Duke's face. Or, at least, press your coccyx against her face.
"When you're a star you can do anything... press your coccyx against their face..."
Also, it has an adjustable seat which "grows with the child".
"When you're a star you can do anything... press your coccyx against their face..."
Also, it has an adjustable seat which "grows with the child".
TOY DOG
This "soft and safe" hound was "Sherrif Rosco's best friend". Apparently, it is "fun for all ages" - though presumably, like many things, most fun during the age of slavery.
FUN TUNNEL
This easily stored fun tunnel is everything a fan of The Dukes of Hazzard could want. They can scrabble back and forth through it, shouting "The South will rise again!" and "Build that wall!" over and over and over. It's literally the most fun you can have with your clothes (Klu Klux Klan robes) on!
Furthermore, one can imagine that this is a toy which new US President Donald Trump would get a lot of use out of; "You can do anything... grab 'em by the fun tunnel..."
Furthermore, one can imagine that this is a toy which new US President Donald Trump would get a lot of use out of; "You can do anything... grab 'em by the fun tunnel..."
SUNGLASSES
These gorgeous sunglasses do have the unfortunate side effect of making everyone around you slightly darker-skinned. Still, it looks as if those tinted plastic lenses will pop out pretty easily. Probably made in "Chiy-nah".
GLOVES
These gloves are not only made from attractive brown faux leather (what - they didn't come in white?_, but will ensure you don't leave any telltale fingerprints behind when you're next setting fire to a crucifix.
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