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THE MAN'S DADDY'S JOKES

12/5/2015

7 Comments

 
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Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy. You might have heard of me: I recently put a leaflet through your door telling you who I am. I don't know why. I guess I just really want people to know who I am.

Oh well. I doubt it matters that much.

This week I've been trying really hard to come up with some new jokes, but I keep falling asleep, and rolling out of my hammock. I suppose I should probably suspend the hammock from some ropes or something, rather than just spreading it out on a slope. Never mind. It'll be fine. 
Here are the few jokes I managed to get done. I hope they're ok. Bye then.

QUESTION: Where do male sheep watch videos about Wookiees?
ANSWER: Ewe-Chewb' (YouTube).


QUESTION: What's the most disgusting bird in the world?
ANSWER: A repelican.

QUESTION: What's the best way to ruin a birthday party?
ANSWER: Invite a killer.


QUESTION: What sort of bush stinks of fish?
ANSWER: A roes bush.

QUESTION: Why did the man stand a cat on its hind legs and kiss it on the bottom?
ANSWER: He was a purr-vert' (pervert).

QUESTION: What do you get if you cross a horse with a hat?
ANSWER: Hattil-horse.

QUESTION: What do you get if you cross a hairy monster with a pier?
ANSWER: A jeti.

QUESTION: What's the best way to burn down a forest?
ANSWER: Set fire to it.

QUESTION: What's the best thing to bounce on after noon?
ANSWER: A trpmoline.

QUESTION: Bagwin is to swagwin, as ebrin is to...?
ANSWER: Nebrin. 

QUESTION: What's the best way to ruin a sandcastle?
ANSWER: Have the runs on it.

QUESTION: What's the worst thing to put in a hole?
ANSWER: Your dead family.


QUESTION: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm?
ANSWER: Biting into a tapeworm and finding half an apple.

QUESTION: Who was the first man on the Moon?
ANSWER: Astronaut Spoony-B.

QUESTION: Which actor compulsively punches his male co-stars in the crotch?
ANSWER: Bruise Willies (Bruce Willis).

QUESTION: Who is the younger brother of Bruce Willis?
ANSWER: Borb Willis.


QUESTION: Who is the eldest son of Borb Willis?
ANSWER: Blorbb Willis.

QUESTION: Where does Blorbb Willis go on holiday?
ANSWER: The Bronks!


FROM THE ARCHIVE:
  • MAN'S DADDY - PHABULOUS PHUNNIES
  • MAN'S DADDY - COMEDY JOKES
  • THE MAN'S DADDY - GET THE BOOK

7 Comments
Jabberwoc
12/5/2015 05:04:29 pm

Hi. I'm Adam Sandler. I'd like to buy these jokes for my next film, please. It'll make loads regardless of your pathetic humour.

Reply
Mr Smith
13/5/2015 05:01:06 am

The tapeworm one had me laughing aloud. Classic Digi: I found it funny, but I doubt those around me would understand if I told them.

Reply
Klone
17/5/2015 11:09:13 am

Haha. Jabberwoc doesn't seem to 'get it' either. I've been chuckling away like Barry Chuckle on laughing gas, standing over his dead brother, who he's finally rid of, mumbling "to you" over and over as he turns his brothers scalped mustache over and over in his hands.

46.1337% of why I back Digi is the sometimes weird humour.

Reply
Rivhard Hugues
13/5/2015 07:40:59 am

Bruise Willies just made me internalise a mouthful of coffee for fear of swazzing it all over my screen. i think its somewhere in my sinuses now....im a bit scared...

Reply
Klone
17/5/2015 11:10:02 am

Don't worry, I'm sure you'll coffee it back up in no time. Sorry.

Reply
Abigcatface
14/5/2015 03:27:50 am

Thank you, The Man's Daddy. Your jokes were okay.

Reply
Klone
17/5/2015 11:03:39 am

I'm stealing Bruise Willies. I'm sorry, I'll credit you. :D

Reply



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