
Anyway. I've been busy writing some new jokes. And here are those jokes now. I hope they're ok. It doesn't matter if they're not. Well. Alright. Bye then. Hope you like my jokes. Bye.
ANSWER: He had no sense of porpoise (and was registered blind).
QUESTION: Who is the best lion ever?
ANSWER: Fancy Bombard.
QUESTION: Why did the wolf have an elastic strap around his head?
ANSWER: That information is not currently available.
QUESTION: Which pop singer is the most wistful about Beirut?
ANSWER: Sigh-Man Lebanon (Simon le Bon).
QUESTION: What was the favourite food of John Bunyan, author of The Pilgrim's Progress?
ANSWER: Bunyan rings (onion rings).
QUESTION: How do you make an anagram out of the word "wasp"?
ANSWER: You just "wasp" the letters around.
QUESTION: How do members of the European Union lose weight?
ANSWER: By fitting a "Maastricht" band (gastric band).
QUESTION: If you force a spider into your ear, what happens?
ANSWER: Spider dies.
QUESTION: Swans are a type of angry, majestic bird. What is the past-tense of swan?
ANSWER: Swang.
QUESTION: What fizzy drink is preferred by artillerymen?
ANSWER: Cannonade.
QUESTION: What fizzy drink is preferred by people who like small bombs?
ANSWER: Grenade.
QUESTION: What fizzy drink is preferred by people with an interest in the chemical dissolution of materials?
ANSWER: Biodegrade.
QUESTION: How do you encourage a French alligator?
ANSWER: "Allez, gator!".
QUESTION: What do asthmatics do in the toilet?
ANSWER: Wheeze.