Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy. You might be wondering who my daddy is. Well, I can answer that question: his name was Lawrence Dundas, the 2nd Marquess of Zetland, and he was the Secretary of State for India between 1935 and 1937, then becoming the Secretary of State for India and Burma between 1937 and 1940. He died in 1961. It doesn't say why, but I like to think he choked to death somehow.
Anyway. I've been busy writing some new jokes. And here are those jokes now. I hope they're ok. It doesn't matter if they're not. Well. Alright. Bye then. Hope you like my jokes. Bye.
Anyway. I've been busy writing some new jokes. And here are those jokes now. I hope they're ok. It doesn't matter if they're not. Well. Alright. Bye then. Hope you like my jokes. Bye.
QUESTION: Why couldn't the scuba diver see the small cetacean?
ANSWER: He had no sense of porpoise (and was registered blind).
QUESTION: Who is the best lion ever?
ANSWER: Fancy Bombard.
QUESTION: Why did the wolf have an elastic strap around his head?
ANSWER: That information is not currently available.
QUESTION: Which pop singer is the most wistful about Beirut?
ANSWER: Sigh-Man Lebanon (Simon le Bon).
QUESTION: What was the favourite food of John Bunyan, author of The Pilgrim's Progress?
ANSWER: Bunyan rings (onion rings).
QUESTION: How do you make an anagram out of the word "wasp"?
ANSWER: You just "wasp" the letters around.
QUESTION: How do members of the European Union lose weight?
ANSWER: By fitting a "Maastricht" band (gastric band).
QUESTION: If you force a spider into your ear, what happens?
ANSWER: Spider dies.
QUESTION: Swans are a type of angry, majestic bird. What is the past-tense of swan?
ANSWER: Swang.
QUESTION: What fizzy drink is preferred by artillerymen?
ANSWER: Cannonade.
QUESTION: What fizzy drink is preferred by people who like small bombs?
ANSWER: Grenade.
QUESTION: What fizzy drink is preferred by people with an interest in the chemical dissolution of materials?
ANSWER: Biodegrade.
QUESTION: How do you encourage a French alligator?
ANSWER: "Allez, gator!".
QUESTION: What do asthmatics do in the toilet?
ANSWER: Wheeze.
ANSWER: He had no sense of porpoise (and was registered blind).
QUESTION: Who is the best lion ever?
ANSWER: Fancy Bombard.
QUESTION: Why did the wolf have an elastic strap around his head?
ANSWER: That information is not currently available.
QUESTION: Which pop singer is the most wistful about Beirut?
ANSWER: Sigh-Man Lebanon (Simon le Bon).
QUESTION: What was the favourite food of John Bunyan, author of The Pilgrim's Progress?
ANSWER: Bunyan rings (onion rings).
QUESTION: How do you make an anagram out of the word "wasp"?
ANSWER: You just "wasp" the letters around.
QUESTION: How do members of the European Union lose weight?
ANSWER: By fitting a "Maastricht" band (gastric band).
QUESTION: If you force a spider into your ear, what happens?
ANSWER: Spider dies.
QUESTION: Swans are a type of angry, majestic bird. What is the past-tense of swan?
ANSWER: Swang.
QUESTION: What fizzy drink is preferred by artillerymen?
ANSWER: Cannonade.
QUESTION: What fizzy drink is preferred by people who like small bombs?
ANSWER: Grenade.
QUESTION: What fizzy drink is preferred by people with an interest in the chemical dissolution of materials?
ANSWER: Biodegrade.
QUESTION: How do you encourage a French alligator?
ANSWER: "Allez, gator!".
QUESTION: What do asthmatics do in the toilet?
ANSWER: Wheeze.
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