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THE MAN'S DADDY'S CHRISTMAS CRACKER COMEDY JOKES

19/12/2016

14 Comments

 
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Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy. Like most of you... around this time of year, I usually buy a turkey from the supermaket, carve a scary face into it, place a candle inside, and leave it out the front of my house.

Here's a top life-hack: to discourage foxes from stealing your turkey, tie a handbell to your wrist, and stand next to the turkey with a cutlass. Every time you wave the cutlass, the bell will ring, and any nearby foxes might have a heart attack.

The thing I love most at Christmas is laughing. Sometimes I just stand by the Christmas tree in the living room, laughing loudly to myself and others. Sometimes my family ask that I stop. Other times they just leave the room, and let me carry on.

Anyway.
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If you'd like the laugh along with me this Christmas, here are some jokes I've written for you to print out, roll up, and slide into your family crackers on Christmas Day. Your relations will no doubt find them considerably more mirthsome than the default funnies you get in most crackers. I hope so anyway. I hope you all like my jokes. Well anyway. Bye then. Yeah, bye. Bye - hope your family like my jokes. Have a good Christmas, yeah? Yeah, ok. Bye then. Bye. Enjoy my jokes, yeah? OK.

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FROM THE ARCHIVE:
​THE MAN'S DADDY'S HILARIOUS CHICKEN JOKES
​
THE MAN'S DADDY - AND HIS POPULAR AUSTRALIAN JOKES
​
THE MAN'S DADDY - HILARIOUS STAR WARS COMEDY JOKES
​
14 Comments
Chollice Ketteridge
19/12/2016 10:41:16 am

Man's Daddy was always my fave bit of Digi back in the day. Glad to see he's still rockin' the mic

Reply
Paul
19/12/2016 01:02:05 pm

Sad to know that as Dr Heimlich died the other day, there will no one to save Santa now, and he will die, retching and gagging, leaving millions of small children asking their parents, “why did Santa have to die? Why?”.

It’ll be a bit like that Grocer Jack song, but with less pathos.

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eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee link
19/12/2016 01:11:53 pm

The Mans Daddys humour doesn't usually work for me, but I laughed at all of these. I think I may have been converted.

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Clive Peppard
19/12/2016 01:22:28 pm

One of those made me laugh out loud.

A yule log to the man who can guess which!

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Guessi the guessing dog
19/12/2016 02:26:28 pm

Was it the best way to ruin Christmas dinner?

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Jabberwoc link
19/12/2016 01:56:22 pm

The Man's Daddy has made me almost chuckle since Teletext days and in 2016 he is still making me make a sort of groaning noise. Merry Diwali, man!

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superfog
19/12/2016 06:01:31 pm

I find the mans daddy oddly arousing...

Is this normal or should I seek help?

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Chris
19/12/2016 08:14:53 pm

Weren't you going to do a Man's Daddy set at an open mic night at one point, Mr B? You should do that and film it for Found Footage. If it hasn't already happened. My memory's not what it, erm, what were we talking about?

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Mr Biffo
19/12/2016 08:51:20 pm

I can say with a fair degree of certainty that I was never, ever, planning to do that.

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Chris
19/12/2016 10:29:28 pm

Oh. Well, you should. It would be amazing!

glassy eyed nostalgist
20/12/2016 03:17:48 pm

I've read the end bit of Man's Daddy's intro about 10 times, it makes me smirk every time. I wonder if my love of that kind of thing was already established, or whether it was informed by Biffo many moons ago, and now he can pander to the very tastes he helped form

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Cc
20/12/2016 07:36:02 pm

Yay! Merry xmassy you daddy thing.

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Adam
21/12/2016 01:08:42 am

You missed an 'r' out of 'supermarket' in the third line. You have one hit record and everything else goes to pot...

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Keith
22/12/2016 12:07:45 pm

I was pleased to see the Man's Daddy had a cameo in Rogue One as the thing that read Riz Ahmed's mind

Reply



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