Here's a top life-hack: to discourage foxes from stealing your turkey, tie a handbell to your wrist, and stand next to the turkey with a cutlass. Every time you wave the cutlass, the bell will ring, and any nearby foxes might have a heart attack.
The thing I love most at Christmas is laughing. Sometimes I just stand by the Christmas tree in the living room, laughing loudly to myself and others. Sometimes my family ask that I stop. Other times they just leave the room, and let me carry on.
If you'd like the laugh along with me this Christmas, here are some jokes I've written for you to print out, roll up, and slide into your family crackers on Christmas Day. Your relations will no doubt find them considerably more mirthsome than the default funnies you get in most crackers. I hope so anyway. I hope you all like my jokes. Well anyway. Bye then. Yeah, bye. Bye - hope your family like my jokes. Have a good Christmas, yeah? Yeah, ok. Bye then. Bye. Enjoy my jokes, yeah? OK.