THE MAN'S DADDY PRESENTS YOU WITH HIS JOKES

Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy. As you might be aware, I've recently been on tour. Though I say tour... I was mostly just hanging out in front of the house, groaning and squirming around on my back, like a vocal worm. Oh well. Never mind, yeah.

I hope you're alright with this, but I've written some new comedy jokes for my routine that I'd really like to run by you. I don't know if they're any good. I mean, they might not be. I'm not a very good judge of jokes. And that's fine if you don't like them. It doesn't matter. I just really want to run them by you.

Anyway. Here they are then, yeah. I'd best be going. Well, I hope you like my jokes. Ok, bye then. Yeah, bye. Bye. Here are the jokes. They're just here. Yeah, hope you like them. Anyway, yeah. Bye. Yeah, bye. Bye...

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QUESTION: Which movie do the Eskimos enjoy the most?
ANSWER: Ice Cool Musical (High School Musical)

QUESTION: What do you call a Scotsman running for the American presidency?
ANSWER: MacDonald Trump.

QUESTION: Big Ben is to Pig Pen as Fernandez is to...?
ANSWER: Sild lips.

QUESTION: Do Germans know what comes after eight?
ANSWER: Nein!

QUESTION: Who was the most lascivious poet in history?
ANSWER: Edward Leer (Edward Lear).

QUESTION: Has a fish ever been stung by a wasp?
ANSWER: ...Yes?

QUESTION: Who was the lewdest mob leader during the Ice Age?
ANSWER: The Mast-o-Don.

QUESTION: What noise does Thomas The Tank Engine make when he eats?
ANSWER: "Chew-chew".

QUESTION: What noise does Anti-Thomas The Tank Engine make when he eats?
ANSWER: "Whoop-whoop!".

QUESTION: What do you call an Englishman running for the American presidency?
​ANSWER: Londonald Trump.

QUESTION: What happens if you try to pick someone up at the Ligament Club?
ANSWER: You might pull a muscle.

QUESTION: Who is the most uncertain actress in the world?
ANSWER: Um... er... Thur... man? (Uma Thurman)

QUESTION: What is the best part of a roast dinner?
ANSWER: Its taste.

QUESTION: Where did the rabbi's bladder go on holiday?
​ANSWER: Pissrael (Israel).

QUESTION: What's puffier than a puffer fish?
ANSWER: A puffier fish.

QUESTION: Which ungulate stores a sticky beige confection in its hump?
ANSWER: A caramel (camel).

QUESTION: Why is it bad manners to tell people that a mannequin is your father?
​ANSWER: It is considered a faux pa.

FROM THE ARCHIVE:
THE MAN'S DADDY - AND HIS POPULAR AUSTRALIAN JOKES
THE MAN'S DADDY - MOTHER-IN-LAW JOKES
THE MAN'S DADDY - HILARIOUS STAR WARS COMEDY JOKES