
I hope you're alright with this, but I've written some new comedy jokes for my routine that I'd really like to run by you. I don't know if they're any good. I mean, they might not be. I'm not a very good judge of jokes. And that's fine if you don't like them. It doesn't matter. I just really want to run them by you.
Anyway. Here they are then, yeah. I'd best be going. Well, I hope you like my jokes. Ok, bye then. Yeah, bye. Bye. Here are the jokes. They're just here. Yeah, hope you like them. Anyway, yeah. Bye. Yeah, bye. Bye...
ANSWER: Ice Cool Musical (High School Musical)
QUESTION: What do you call a Scotsman running for the American presidency?
ANSWER: MacDonald Trump.
QUESTION: Big Ben is to Pig Pen as Fernandez is to...?
ANSWER: Sild lips.
QUESTION: Do Germans know what comes after eight?
ANSWER: Nein!
QUESTION: Who was the most lascivious poet in history?
ANSWER: Edward Leer (Edward Lear).
QUESTION: Has a fish ever been stung by a wasp?
ANSWER: ...Yes?
QUESTION: Who was the lewdest mob leader during the Ice Age?
ANSWER: The Mast-o-Don.
QUESTION: What noise does Thomas The Tank Engine make when he eats?
ANSWER: "Chew-chew".
QUESTION: What noise does Anti-Thomas The Tank Engine make when he eats?
ANSWER: "Whoop-whoop!".
QUESTION: What do you call an Englishman running for the American presidency?
ANSWER: Londonald Trump.
QUESTION: What happens if you try to pick someone up at the Ligament Club?
ANSWER: You might pull a muscle.
QUESTION: Who is the most uncertain actress in the world?
ANSWER: Um... er... Thur... man? (Uma Thurman)
QUESTION: What is the best part of a roast dinner?
ANSWER: Its taste.
QUESTION: Where did the rabbi's bladder go on holiday?
ANSWER: Pissrael (Israel).
QUESTION: What's puffier than a puffer fish?
ANSWER: A puffier fish.
QUESTION: Which ungulate stores a sticky beige confection in its hump?
ANSWER: A caramel (camel).
QUESTION: Why is it bad manners to tell people that a mannequin is your father?
ANSWER: It is considered a faux pa.